And They will Be Known By Their Rattles

August 30, 2005

I had a follow-up appointment with my obgyn to talk about the crazy drugs I have been taking. Rob had taken the day off of work, so I left all the kids at home with him and brought just the baby with me.

The baby loves people. He is at that adorably cute age where he stares at people with a huge grin on his face and when they look at him he laughs and buries his face in my neck. He flirted with the receptionists, the other women in the waiting room, the nurses. He had yet to meet anyone he didn’t like.

That is until the obgyn walked into the room. For whatever reason he was fixated on her shoes and he did not like them one bit! And when she reached out to tickle him, he recoiled. He was whimpering on the verge of bursting into tears and I kept trying to distract him. Because nothing is worse than having your child cry when someone looks at them.

Later on I thought that maybe he just didn’t want her touching him because he was thinking, ‘Good God woman I know where your hands have been all day. Get them away from me!

Anyway, we talked about my medication, the positives and negatives, and decided to try a different one. She went to her vast supply closet and pulled out four boxes, four weeks worth of pills. She carried them back into the room and shook one in front of the baby.

“It’s like a little rattle!” she said as she shook it in front of him and tried to hand it to him. She desperately wanted him to smile.

“It’s like a little rattle for the babies with crazy mothers” I blurted out, you know just in case there was a doubt in her mind that I needed drugs.

But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about what a fabulous idea that would be. Imagine walking through the store and your baby is holding onto his favorite Prozac rattle. Suddenly you come across a cart where he spots a baby just like him shaking a Zoloft rattle. They could exchange knowing glances and smiles.

It would be like a baby secret handshake for, “My mom is nuts, too!”

I think the pharmaceutical companies should take note. There is a vast untapped market out there.

Posted by Chris @ 1:40 pm  

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Comments

  1. Jen says:

    Works for me. My midwife told me that everyone could use a little Paxil in their drinking water. =)

  2. J says:

    I love me some dark humor ;)

  3. martha marmot says:

    Oops! I accidentally deleted myself… sorry! *blush*

    I wanted to thank you for this post. I have been “rattling” myself for a few years now… LOL!

  4. Meg says:

    Hey, Sophia carries a “Weight Loss Vitamin” rattle when we go grocery shopping!

  5. halloweenlover says:

    I was thinking maybe Miles remembers that this rude woman played a part in ripping him from his comfy, warm, dark home. What do you think?

  6. Jordana says:

    There would be a lot of babies with rattles out there. That’s for sure.

  7. joy madison says:

    I am looking into that rattle right now:)

  8. Donna says:

    Hmmm, I guess Tom Cruise’s kids couldn’t be part of the ‘in-crowd’ and their special rattle shakin’ crowd! Take THAT Tom!

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