Overheard At My House On Friday Night
October 10, 2005
Me: You do remember that I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, right?
Him: Yeah, I remember.
Me: I’m not bringing the baby, or any of the kids for that matter, with me.
Him: What do you mean you aren’t bringing the baby with you?
Me: The last time I brought him he cried the entire appointment and wanted nothing to do with the toys in the playroom. It was stressful. Well, more stressful than a dental appointment usually is.
Him: Well, I hope you are going to come right home then.
All, righty then. A few minutes go by, which is incidentally how I can tell that my medication is working because I didn’t immediately jump up and snap his head off. When I resume talking he doesn’t even realize that we are still having the same conversation.
Me: Aren’t you going away for three days this week?
Him: Yes, I am.
Me: And isn’t it for fun? Not business, correct?
Him: Yes, you know that.
Me: And aren’t you traveling again this month on business?
Him: Yes, I’ll be in [big southwestern city] for a week.
Me: And after that?
Him: Uh, I have a conference in [really big city that never sleeps].
Me: And after that?
Him: Uh, I’m going to [big southeastern city where I have zero desire to ever visit] next month… what are you getting at here?
Me: Nothing honey. Just clarifying a few things.
Me: Didn’t you just get back from somewhere?
Him: ummm, why all these questions?
Me: You have been away at least twenty times in the past year and I just find it interesting that I can’t even go to the dentist, the DENTIST for crying out loud, without having to immediately scurry home like a cockroach that is suddenly caught in the blinding glare of a fluorescent light.
Him: (laughing because he realizes exactly what I am getting at) I’m sorry. You are right. Why don’t you just take the rest of the day and do whatever you want to do.
Me: I don’t have anything I want to do. Just making my point.
Him: Are you sure that new medication of yours is working?
Me: I’m laughing and you haven’t had anything thrown at you, have you?
(And I should add that when I came home, not only was the house clean, he had done some home repair work, cooked a real lunch, and had a pot of sauce cooking on the stove, AND had written up a schedule delegating baby watching duties to the kids which they did happily. I think I need to get a real job and leave him home with the kids and house every day.)
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