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Overheard At My House On Friday Night

Overheard At My House On Friday Night

October 10, 2005

Me: You do remember that I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, right?

Him: Yeah, I remember.

Me: I’m not bringing the baby, or any of the kids for that matter, with me.

Him: What do you mean you aren’t bringing the baby with you?

Me: The last time I brought him he cried the entire appointment and wanted nothing to do with the toys in the playroom. It was stressful. Well, more stressful than a dental appointment usually is.

Him: Well, I hope you are going to come right home then.

All, righty then. A few minutes go by, which is incidentally how I can tell that my medication is working because I didn’t immediately jump up and snap his head off. When I resume talking he doesn’t even realize that we are still having the same conversation.

Me: Aren’t you going away for three days this week?

Him: Yes, I am.

Me: And isn’t it for fun? Not business, correct?

Him: Yes, you know that.

Me: And aren’t you traveling again this month on business?

Him: Yes, I’ll be in [big southwestern city] for a week.

Me: And after that?

Him: Uh, I have a conference in [really big city that never sleeps].

Me: And after that?

Him: Uh, I’m going to [big southeastern city where I have zero desire to ever visit] next month… what are you getting at here?

Me: Nothing honey. Just clarifying a few things.

Him: Oh.

Me: Didn’t you just get back from somewhere?

Him: California?

Me: and?

Him: Wisconsin?

Me: and?

Him: ummm, why all these questions?

Me: You have been away at least twenty times in the past year and I just find it interesting that I can’t even go to the dentist, the DENTIST for crying out loud, without having to immediately scurry home like a cockroach that is suddenly caught in the blinding glare of a fluorescent light.

Him: (laughing because he realizes exactly what I am getting at) I’m sorry. You are right. Why don’t you just take the rest of the day and do whatever you want to do.

Me: I don’t have anything I want to do. Just making my point.

Him: Are you sure that new medication of yours is working?

Me: I’m laughing and you haven’t had anything thrown at you, have you?

(And I should add that when I came home, not only was the house clean, he had done some home repair work, cooked a real lunch, and had a pot of sauce cooking on the stove, AND had written up a schedule delegating baby watching duties to the kids which they did happily. I think I need to get a real job and leave him home with the kids and house every day.)

Posted by Chris @ 5:22 pm  

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Comments

  1. novaks8 says:

    I just had almost the same conversation with my darling husband.

    The last time I went anywhere without the kids was today.

    The DMV to renew my driver’s license.

    WOOHOO

    and my teenage son watched the little girls…not my husband.

    I truly need a vacation.

  2. robiewankenobie says:

    my husband’s pretty good about the kid watching thing. i figure they’re the fruit of that boy’s loins, he should be able to watch them as well as i can.

    so, uh, good for you for going to the dentist alone! pretty soon you might be able to go to the bathroom alone, too!

  3. MamaGeph says:

    robie, that gave me a flashback to when the Princess was a baby. Mr. MG actually gave me guff when I handed him the baby so I could head to the bathroom alone. I believe, “What do you do when I’m not here?!” escaped his lips.

  4. blackbird says:

    I think you showed enormous restraint.
    My husband would have offered to let me hire someone (he did once) to help watch the baby when he traveled.

  5. Buffi says:

    I must say, that conversation went much better than it would have at my house.

  6. Lisa says:

    That must be some good medication. I believe my dh thinks I sit home watching soap operas and eating bonbons all day. Grrrr! Of course, he never thought my “real” job was as hard as his either. I’m sensing a pattern……

  7. Anonymous says:

    If the Holy Spirit has fathered my kids Chris he would be doing his share of baby and child minding. I would be tempted to leave your Rob alone with the fruit of his loins for about a week then he would know he was alive. It amuses me how many fathers think they are doing you a big favour when they mind their own kids, whoopee do.

  8. Tyra says:

    All I could do was laugh as I read this post.

    Last night my dh had to help our son with one part of his homework. You’d have thought he had to write a term paper or something. I then gently reminded him of all the homework that we’d already finished before he even came home and that I would gladly hand over ALL of it if he’d like me to.

    He shut up real fast,lol.

  9. Meg says:

    Go, Mr. Chris! That’s a good way for that story to end.

    By the way, it sucks that you have to go to the dentist. You should ask for nitrous and at least “enjoy” the experience…

  10. Chris says:

    Anonymous,

    Well, the Holy Spirit didn’t father my children (thankfully because all that perfection, “I am your savior” crap would get annoying). The father of my children is a man with quirks and faults, but he is a great father. Leaving him with an unpredicatable baby who is still nursing, IS a challenge.

    And he puts up with me… give that man a medal1

    I think you missed the point of my post.

  11. dazeymae says:

    Ain’t it cool when they find their brain and use it.
    I was sick over the weekend and DH pulled his head outta…well you know where, and grocery shopped, fed the hungry, starving masses, washed, folded and put away the clothes (can you say MIRACLE…I knew that you could) and checked on me from time to time.
    These are the reasons after 23 years I’m not only still married….I haven’t bludgeoned him to death when he resumes his redneck ways…bless my good memory.

  12. Silly Old Bear says:

    Yay for you! I mean, all the way around. This thing went down much mo’ betta’ than it could have.

    (I’m a poster child for medication, apparently, cuz nothing phases me anymore. I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good thing)

  13. nextcommercial says:

    If the big Southwest city which you have no desire to visit is Phoenix, you should reconsider…in February! February is nice in Phoenix…Of course May through October is Hell…and the traffic sucks these days….and the cost of housing is through the roof. Hmm….Phoenix doesn’t sound so good anymore.

  14. robiewankenobie says:

    i don’t want you to think that i missed the point…the point of the story is that he “got it.” no bloodshed required…AND he went above and beyond so that you’d KNOW that he got it.

  15. just me says:

    I just love reading your posts. I had to tell you again. Thanks.

  16. Katie says:

    I have had that conversation many times (complete with a dentist appointment). Sometimes I think our husbands were separated at birth. Men… hehe

  17. Lilorfnannie says:

    Awesome conversation. So I’m not the only one that doesn’t get a break from the kids. (Not having family nearby, & not being able to afford babysitting too often, if ever- that $20 is always spent on something else. But now that I have found a babysitter in the neighborhood, which I didn’t have before, I think the household grocery budget is about to get re-arranged-)

    My DH doesn’t travel that much, but he does sometimes, and the rest of the time, he works (& works & works)- I never get to hear the “Why don’t you just take the rest of the day and do whatever you want to do” part, nor EVER EVER the “not only was the house clean, he had done some home repair work, cooked a real lunch, and had a pot of sauce cooking on the stove, AND had written up a schedule delegating baby watching duties to the kids which they did happily” part. If he does watch the kids, and by some miracle doesn’t just sit on the couch & watch tv with them, I get to hear “I ‘cleaned’ today AND I made the kids help- why should it be so difficult for you?”. “Cleaned” defined as “picked up clutter on the floor in one room and deposited it in a pile in another room for you to sort out later”, and the kids being ages 3 & 5. It requires my complete attention, of course, to have them “help pick up”, so I seldom make them do it (to my shame). Something he can do, of course, because while he is babysitting for a few hours, he is not concerning himself with all the other things he simply doesn’t ever do- such as cooking, laundry, or actually sorting or putting away the clutter he picks up & deposits elsewhere.

    He literally believes and has stated that his job is to work outside the home, and that my job is to take care of the home, meaning do all the housework, period.

  18. plasticdoc says:

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