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How To Make Me Love You

How To Make Me Love You

October 24, 2005

Knock knock

I opened the front door.

“Yes, can I help you?” I asked the man standing on my front porch, after first peeking out the window and determining he a) wasn’t carrying a stack of Bible pamphlets, or b) looked like some sort of crazed killer.

“Yes, I’d like to talk to your dad, please. Is he at home?” the man politely asked.

“Nooooooo, my Dad doesn’t live here.”

“Oh, your mother then.”

“I’m sorry, but this is my house. Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m a bit confused. I’m looking for Robert Lastname.”

“Robert Lastname is my husband.”

“Wow, you don’t look old enough to be married.”

“I love you.” Okay I really didn’t say that, but I thought it. I would like to shackle him to my front porch so that every time I exit my house he’d be there to tell me how young I look. And I bet if I withheld food awhile I could get him to tell me I was pretty too. I wondered if I should let him know I had seven children , but then I decided why spoil the illusion.

And I do NOT think the man had vision problems as was suggested by my son, who not only does not want to see his next birthday but is currently being written out of my will.

Posted by Chris @ 5:20 pm  

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Comments

  1. Kate says:

    In the pictures I have seen of you I would have to agree. You look really young and you do not look like you have given birth to 7 people.

  2. Libragirl says:

    Being that I just turned 35 last friday, anytime anyone says I don’t look my age, I will tell them I love them. No joke. A guy at work, thought I was in my twenties. Go me. Love him.

  3. robiewankenobie says:

    could you send him over here next? heck, i’ll bake him cookies!

  4. Buffi says:

    I got carded the other day. Then the guy apologized and said that they have to card anyone who looks like they are under 30. Still love him!!

  5. Sleeping Mommy says:

    Wow! That would make me feel pretty damn good too. But knowing me I would totally not believe him and ask him what he was selling.

    Cuz I’m bitchy and suspicious like that. ;)

  6. Chris says:

    sleepingmommy,
    That was the best part, he wasn’t selling anything. He was going around introducing himself to homeowners as the new owner of the company that picks up our garbage. We already have a contract with them so flattery wouldn’t really “get” him anything.

  7. Meg says:

    Wow! I would be flattered, too…I get carded everytime I’m by myself buying liquor but if I bring Brent, it never happens (he has gray hair).

  8. aka meritt says:

    I’m with Libragirl… 35 and when they tell me I look young I pronounce them my ‘new very best friend’ and that I love them. LOL.

  9. dazeymae says:

    I woulda kissed him.
    Got carded well after my 30th birthday at a restaurant one time. Waitress girl was honestly shocked that I was over 21…took my license and was showing it to other waitresses…
    I left her a $25 tip.
    My lunch friend said that I was a sucker…I don’t care, this sucker smiled all afternoon from behind her baby face.

  10. nabbalicious says:

    Whoa. That is SO awesome. I probably would have made out with him, I’d be so happy.

    Whenever I get carded these days, I profess my love for the person doing the carding. Funny how much it used to bug me, and now I practically beg to be carded!

  11. Scooby says:

    Oh you go girl! I am 33 and was on the bus one day and someone thought that I was 23. I really wanted to hug her bless her heart.

  12. Lisa says:

    How come when I was 16 and looked 21 it was a good thing but now that I’m 42 adding 5 extra years is the LAST thing I want people to do. It must be your clean living and pure heart.

  13. Katie says:

    Awesome! People around here always think I’m the nanny. Must be the neighborhood.

  14. halloweenlover says:

    I love him for you! But your son, is he grounded for life?

  15. Annalise says:

    It is a measure of how much I love you, (even if you do look sickeningly young) that I will actually fire up explorer so that I can read the first two paragraphs of each of your posts, because they no longer show up if I use firefox :-)

  16. Chris says:

    Annalise,

    I am trying to figure out how to rectify the problem. I’ll have it figured soon, hopefully… maybe.

  17. Urban Mama says:

    But you dp look ab fab — at least in the peeks we’ve gotten of you ;-)

  18. Blog World says:

    A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.
    Stewart Alsop- Posters.