The New Look
October 21, 2005
The problem with being a perfectionist is that nothing is ever perfect enough. When I began changing my design I had no idea I was going to do something so involved. I was just going to change the background color, which I thought was a big deal. Perfectionism is a curse really, because I am never happy with anything I do.
It all sort of just evolved over the course of the past few days. There was one moment when I got up and left my computer on the couch. I returned to the room to find the baby banging on the keyboard. I thought I was going to die, right then and there.
But honestly, I had no idea how the whole html thing worked. I went around and looked at the code to other people’s blogs and then googled the tags to see what they meant. Then I read some online html tutorials, which pretty much caused my eyes to bleed.
I really liked how Kristin, at 1902 Victorian, has photos of her old house across the top of her blog and I wanted something similar. That was the header I had yesterday with five individual photos. But that was taking too long to load. I knew there was a way to import (ooooo, I feel like I am using an SAT word) the pictures to Paint Shop Pro, but I didn’t know how. So yeah, googled that. And I wanted some sort of border.
Blah, blah, blah, interesting to no one, not even me, I ended up with this design. There are still some things I want to change, but can’t figure out how to do them. But they will have to wait as I can’t ignore my house and kids for another day. And apples… by God I have apples to eat and bake into delicious treats. And leaves to rake. And hayrides to go on, And pumpkins to carve… and… and… well I simply have to force myself to step away from the computer.
I had a real entry I was going to post this morning, but blogger ate it. I can’t help but feel like it is getting back at me.
Posted by Chris @
7:45 am |
Aiming For The Target
October 20, 2005
The thing about having a paid Flickr account is that one (uh, that would be me) feels the need to over share photographs that one (uh, me again) has taken. It is the internet equivalent of inviting people over for a slideshow, complete with witty (or maybe not) commentary.
I have put up a bunch more photographs. So grab your popcorn and if you hurry you might actually get a seat on my couch before the babies toss them into a pile on the floor.
Posted by Chris @
8:11 am |
The Joy Of Homeschooling
October 19, 2005
One gallon jug of white vinegar: $2.49
Box of baking soda: $.55
Single serving bottle of soda: $1.09
Getting to watch the excitement of your children as they direct their own learning : PRICELESS
Getting hit in the head by the cork as it flies out of the soda bottle: occupational hazard
Posted by Chris @
10:25 pm |
Quote of Yesterday and Today
said by me at 11:30 pm last night
“Holy crap, I have no idea what I am doing.”
said by me at 7:00 am this morning
“Holy crap, I have no idea what I am doing.”
Bear with me, people. Why I decided to change my blog design late last night, when I am completely clueless about this sort of thing, I have no idea. Other than it is further evidence of my mental instability.
Also, I won’t be around most of the day to work on it as I have to bring the children to their weekly science class. It is held at a big camp and after the science class we get to use the camp facilities. This week, it’s archery. Yes, archery.
I just hope my children don’t shoot each other.
Because it is safe to say that I won’t be paying attention. My mind is preoccupied my things much greater than the safety of my children, namely, my blog design.
Posted by Chris @
7:50 am |
It’s Very Very Fragile
October 18, 2005
We have always used the real names for body parts at our house. Up until a couple of years ago we only had to talk about the penis, with the vagina only get a couple of mentions here and there. Mostly it was in the context of, “No, I do not have penis. I have a vagina. And no I don’t wish I had a penis, thankyouverymuch.”
Then I had a daughter and suddenly we were not all penis all the time at our house. But vagina is not an easy word for toddlers to say. So my daughter calls it, “her china”. And because I think it is so freaking cute I encourage it and use the term myself. Also when she talks to her grandmother on the phone and drones on and on about her china, my china, and do you like your china, it requires no embarrassed explanations from me.
So imagine how funny she thought it was when we were out shopping this past weekend and as we passed through the housewares section I told her not to touch the fragile china that was on display.
She stopped and looked around, “Where china?”
When I pointed to all the sets of dishes she laughed and laughed, repeatedly saying, “No, that not china! That’s a plate. That’s a bowl!” She thought it was the funniest joke ever.
I could only imagine she was looking around thinking that there would be vaginas somewhere on display. I was momentarily thankful that I didn’t bring her to the China buffet. Not sure how I would explain that one… “Food, from china!”
Posted by Chris @
7:58 am |
Life Before Google?
October 16, 2005
How would I have known how to make this?
What is it, you ask?
This is a device to fix the television screen by degaussing the mask.
Huh? Why on earth do you need this?
This is what you need when your child, the one I have mentioned before, decides to stick magnets on your television screen and ruins the picture quality, making all the colors off. This means Jeff is wearing a green shirt, Murray is all stripy, and this is simply NOT ACCEPTABLE to a two year old, who feels the need to voice her displeasure loudly and continuously until your ears bleed.
The thing that keeps this child alive is that you just know that someone somewhere on the internet has written about the exact same thing.
And when you search and find people selling expensive products to fix this problem you know that someone somewhere must have figured out an alternate solution.
And that someone somewhere will have written a web page about it.
And the google gods pull through for you once again and you bow down before them in thanks.
Then instead of strangling said child, you can mentally compose a blog entry about it. Because if you can fix it, then it is humorous.
And it’s educational. “Gather ’round my children here is your science lesson for the week. Don’t say I never let you do cool science experiments.”
Still confused?
Read this if you are interested in a full technical explanation.
Posted by Chris @
1:14 pm |
Thoughts On A Rainy Day
October 14, 2005
My pregnancy with my daughter was no different than it had been with any of the boys. There was no real discernible difference. That is something people loved to ask me during all my pregnancies following the first one.
“Do you feel different?” or “Are you carrying differently?”
The one and only thing that was different was I had an overwhelming craving for all things citrus. I could not drink enough orange juice, lemonade, and other citrusy foods. I would call Rob up at work and demand that he stop at the store and buy me orange juice. And leave work soon, I don’t care what you are doing. It’s for the baby! The baby needs vitamin C. With all the boy pregnancies I craved tomatoes and put ketchup on everything. I would make french fries just to have a socially acceptable tool for getting the ketchup into my mouth.
But with my daughter, I must have consumed a half gallon of orange juice alone per day.
Oh, and the lemonade at McDonald’s was just too strong of a craving for me to pass up. One day I drove through the drive through bought a lemonade, drank it on the way out of the driveway and promptly pulled back in and bought another one. I’m sure the drive through girl thought I was nuts, but I was pregnant, dammit, I needed that lemonade.
Then there was the time that I was a a party thrown by the wife of Rob’s boss. She had a few drinks too many and added to her already boisterous personality was a bad combination. She paraded me around the party commenting on my “fat ass”.
I know that in her own twisted way she was trying to make me feel good, to be encouraging, to make me feel hopeful that I could be carrying a fetus of the female variety, but dear lord the last thing you want when you are 6 months pregnant and dressed up for a party and thinking you are looking pretty nice, despite the weight of an extra person you are carrying around, is for someone to point out the spread of your backside.
She kept saying over and over and over again, ‘I just *know* you are having a girl. I mean look at how big your ass is!’ And then she would pull someone over and ask them what they thought. If they said boy she would turn me around and point to my “fat ass”.
Finally I told her that if I had a girl I would forgive her, but if it were a boy I’d would have no choice but to hunt her down and hurt her, possibly kill her, for the humiliation she was forcing me to endure. I’m sure that in the back of Rob’s co-workers minds I am forever the wife with the fat ass.
And so since I had a girl I have forgiven her, sort of.
It also helps that her husband got a different job and I don’t have to see her ever again.
Posted by Chris @
12:19 pm |
On This Day
October 13, 2005
1) Today I turned the heat on for the first time this season. And for the first time in a week I wasn’t cold and cranky. Just cranky, because I can fully visualize dollars flying out of the heating vents.
2) I ordered Christmas presents for my kids today. Waffle makers for everyone! Okay not really, but I am buying everyone monogramed towels. I can sense the excitement with that present already. I am really trying hard to get away from buying so many toys, because we already own most of the inventory at We Be Toys.
3) Rob sent me an email about his annual Christmas party, but the baby will still be nursing. Maybe next year. And maybe by next year I’ll be able to find a babysitter.
4) I think I may be mildewing from all the rain.
Posted by Chris @
11:11 pm |
The Budding Artist
October 12, 2005
My daughter’s latest drawing, with description.
Posted by Chris @
3:18 pm |
She Is So Deprived
October 11, 2005
and has no “real” toys to play with.
Everyday she opens the cabinet and pulls out her computer. She types away on it, giving a running commentary, like, “I’m buying new shoes!”
Yesterday she was “typing”, the baby was entertaining himself by emptying out a box of wipes, and my 4 yr old was fashioning himself some handcuffs out of scotch tape (which made me laugh more than a good mother probably should when he couldn’t get free of the tape), and I thought why do I bother buying toys at all?
Posted by Chris @
11:37 pm |
