November 10, 2005
Eleven years ago I went to bed, feeling like I would be pregnant forever.
Eleven years ago at 3:00am my water broke while I was sleeping.
Eleven years ago at 3:01am, I had my first contraction and panicked because OH MY GOD it really hurts and who knows how long this is going to last. I don’t even like to do things that feel good for hours on end.
Eleven years ago at 3:03am, I had my second contraction and the realization hit me that this baby was really going to have to exit my body.
Eleven years ago at 3:05am, I had my third contraction and decided I wanted all the drugs that the hospital could give me and I wanted them right now and why wasn’t Rob moving more quickly. Who cares if he isn’t dressed.
Eleven years ago I threw the telephone across the room when the doctor told me to try to talk through a contraction so he could assess if it was time to come to the hospital. When Rob retrieved the phone the doctor said, yes it would appear to be time.
Eleven years ago we walked out the front door of our apartment as a family of two for the last time.
Eleven years ago when a nurse told me she had four children I told her she was crazy. That anyone who would go through this more than once was crazy. And then I cried because my baby was going to be an only child.
Eleven years ago I pushed for three hours before telling the doctor that I changed my mind, I really didn’t want a baby thankyouverymuch, and please just make it stop.
Eleven years ago the doctor attached a vacuum to the top of your head and pulled you from my body. I think we both screamed.
Eleven years ago a piece of my heart began living outside of my own body and I would never be the same again.
Eleven years ago I began this journey of motherhood; eleven years later I am still navigating the way with you in the lead.
Happy Eleventh Birthday, my first born son.
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