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The Quest For Just One Good Photograph

The Quest For Just One Good Photograph

December 14, 2005

If Dante had to take Christmas photos, he would have included a Tenth Circle of Hell.

Slide Show of my efforts.

I really don’t know why they refuse to smile nicely. I know I would smile pretty if a scary woman was pointing a camera at me screaming, “Smile, damnit! It’s Christmas, and for Christ’s sake can you just pretend you love your siblings for a minute.”

And sadly, yes, I did pull out the evil trump card and yell, “That’s it, I am calling Santa. COAL, COAL for everyone! Then you will have a reason to frown.”

To keep it real and balance the last two posts it is imperative that I share a knock-knock joke my 2 year old daughter and I shared yesterday immediately after the photo taking fiasco.

Her: Knock-Knock, Mommy.
Me: Who’s there?
Her: Santa Claus
Me: Santa Claus who?

And when she paused too long…

Me: Santa Claus who is not stopping at this house with presents, that’s who!

So yeah. Not taking that award off of my mantle any time soon.

Posted by Chris @ 7:27 am  

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  1. Meg says:

    Oh man, that was a great slide show - it cracked me up. Miles looked mighty patient for the first part of that, too…

  2. Possum Pearl says:

    Oh! So funny! They are such beautiful children! I love that the daughter keeps coming in and out of the picture! Also love her Pippi Longstockings! *Smile*

  3. Katie Ricks says:

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! That is good quality entertainment for the morning! I hope you finally got a good one. Beautiful children!

  4. Flutter says:

    That was a good response. I love the Santa Claus Card!

  5. speckledpup says:

    I enjoyed those pictures sooooo much.
    One year I took all the grandkids of my parents to have a picture made for them. It was about the same story…except add a few more - we had 18 children under 20 years of age.
    I gave my mom and dad a big picture and we matted the strip of ‘also rans’ around the picture. It’s one of the favorite pictures in the house. We ALL stand and look at it everytime we’re there.

  6. Jillbert says:

    LOL!!!! You brightened my morning — I was laughing so hard I almost spit my coffee. Good luck w/the photo…..

  7. Tammie says:

    YOU MADE MY DAY! The slideshow was perfect, and really showed how those kids of yours have a photoshoot melt down!
    Now what the heck are their names? :) I know the youngest one is Miles, and your daughter is Pippy Longstockings…

    Great post, and pictures, thanks for sharing.

  8. Jennifer says:

    Hey! I did a slideshow of our less-than-perfect Christmas pictures too! But I did it last week so I must not be that copycat you posted about in the spring.
    Cute shots though, and I love the red paint.

  9. Kristen says:

    HAHA!! And I think *I* have a hard time with two teenagers and two toddlers. I can’t imagine the noise level during all of that!! You actually ended up with some pretty cute ones from the first half of the session - and I agree with whoever said that Miles seemed to put up with it for quite a while.

  10. Jordana says:

    If your daughter weren’t missing completely from the photo, I saw one in there that was pretty nice.

    And nothing says “classy photo” like duct tape and missing baseboards — so you have things covered. ;)

  11. Anonymous says:

    I love that your very-blond son on the left end forgot that his zipper is down!! (Or at least it looks that way.)

    Very funny pictures. Maybe you should send a single card with all the little photos on it.


  12. nabbalicious says:

    HA…Funniest slideshow I’ve ever seen! And your kids are hilarious!

  13. Katie says:

    That is so funny! I like how random children disappear from the photos as the slide show continues, I can only imagine the “behind the scenes” conversations.

  14. Chris says:

    I was planning on cropping the photo, but you are right about the baseboards, they are on the agenda for this weekend.

    You don’t want to hear the background conversation ;-)
    Oh and his zipper was down! And if you can’t notice the two with white turtle necks have them on backwards because in the three minutes they had them on the right way they managed to get the fronts of them all dirty.

  15. Chris says:

    Oh and speckledpup, I really like that idea! I might have just have to steal it!

  16. speckledpup says:

    Chris, you can have my idea…no theft involved.
    I wouldn’t crop out the baseboards either and photo shop your daughter into the good picture….

    We have a large family too and we’re always adding a girlfriend or a stray of some kind and everybody says, oh you ought to take it (blah blah blah worthless advice…etc.etc.etc.)
    I say, this is how our family is today, the day we took the picture: warts, unzipped, still with the bimbo girlfriend, etc.

    Cherish how it all is now. Save all those pictures.
    Everyone tells a story.

  17. kristal says:

    I totally gave up on the ‘happy together’ picture this year. I used black and white headshots of each of them (7) and one of me and my husband together and made a collage on a postcard. At least I resisted the urge to do a ‘brady bunch’ style grid!

  18. Sleeping Mommy says:

    That was one of the funniest slide shows I’ve ever seen. Thank you for sharing.

  19. novaks8 says:

    Omigosh that is SO funny!

    Your daughter is cracking me up.

    It looked like she was mad at the others for not smiling.
    In one picture she had the prettiest smile then she was mad in the next.

    funny stuff

  20. Alissa says:

    actually, pictures 2 and 5 aren’t so bad! Hilarious tho. A photo shoot around here last no more than 5 minutes. That includes set up and screaming.

  21. Steph says:

    ROFL! Maybe you should just send everyone an E card with the slideshow!

    So are your kids buying the whole “no presents from Santa” thing? Mine never do, and my oldest is only 4.*Sigh*

  22. Momto5munchkins says:

    Haven’t told you yet, but I love your blog. I can so relate. Mine from last year looks very similar - I think actually have a picture with a child running from the shoot too.

    This is what I did this year http://alittleofnothinginparticular.blogspot.com/ and it was so much easier. I didn’t even have to get out my evil mommy voice. You have the right number for Believe.

  23. Erin says:

    There always is photoshop

  24. halloweenlover says:

    I am cracking up! I think number 2 is the best one.

    They are all so cute. I love the Miles gets super pissed at the end, poor little one.

  25. halloweenlover says:

    By the way, I’m SOOO HAPPY you have your laptop back! We missed you!

  26. lipstickface says:


  27. kalisah says:

    I think you should totally use the photo where that one kid has his shirt over his head.

  28. tender arts says:

    I think they are all wonderful! Just put the whole slide show on a CD and mail that out! Love it!

  29. Anonymous says:

    I love how you always manage to dodge revealing what the rest of your kids names are…a lot of people have asked you and you somehow ignore them, even though you acknowledge any other question.

  30. Anonymous says:

    To Anonymous who posted at 10:03,

    Did you ever think that MAYBE, just MAYBE Chris would like to keep the rest of her kids name private??? Why do you HAVE to know their names?? Geesh.. Sorry! some people!

  31. Anonymous says:

    HI Chri s

    Your photos reminded me of when I was a kid and I come from 7 like your kids. With each new baby my mother use to get studio photo done of us as a group and the new baby by itself. I think we drove the photographer mad and it must have driven my mother nuts getting us into our sunday best and getting us to the studio

    This has repeated this generation with me trying to get a good Santa photo of my 5 year old son and his too cool to have a Santa photo done sister at 11. With her grimacing and generally spoiling the shot, the girl who was taking photos and I decided it ws simpler just to get one of my son alone and no he did not look too happy wiht the patient Santa. So perhaps with kids you never win with photos

  32. flower.girl says:

    Chris, I did not find this funny. But that is probably because I went through the same thing last year. The yelling and threatening that Santa won’t come……I wish I could show you. This year, we went over to the neighbors (they have a blow-up Grinch). I took 5 shots, then just picked the best one. My #4 was not looking at me, but it shows his personality so I went with it. It was spur of the moment and WOW, what a lot less stress. And I think you have some great photos to share with your family and friends ~ your kids are beautiful.
    Dot, mom to 6, 14 to almost 1

  33. Annalise says:

    I actually did laugh out loud, watching your slideshow. :-)
    And your kids are all beautiful :-)

  34. J├╝rgen Nation says:

    AAAHAHA! This is awesome. Perhaps you could just send a slideshow CD with your Christmas cards? I needed this laugh!

  35. Sarah says:

    Ummm, why would someone be bothered that you don’t reveal all of your children’s names? Weird. Slide show was a riot-too bad you can’t send the slide show out as a christmas card.

  36. robiewankenobie says:

    i think a wiggly series might be in order. that would be great on a card! or, iffin you wish, you could send me the second photo, and another of the little guy on the right with in a similar pose, but with a smile. i’m a graphic designer and through the power of photoshop i can switch him out with his smiley self.

  37. Silly Old Bear says:

    What a great series. I agree with the “warts and all” comment, although it competes fiercely with my need to get a “great” photo.

    Imagine in fifteen years when everyone has a boy or girlfriend, you might need a wide angle lens..

  38. Josie's Mom says:

    I love them. All of them! Here, we ended up photo-shopping 6 photos together to 1 photo collage and mailing that out because it was just impossible to get a decent shot of my two girl together.

    Josie’s Mom
    Insights into a child’s world

  39. Mom2the5rs says:

    The 5th one is the best…I have 5 kids and this looks very familiar. It always cracks me up how I will take 22 shots and it was #1 or #2 that was the best. But your #5 is nice. I like the energy of #1 and the one where the baby is shaking his head and you chose not to use flash…that one would have been perfect. I like how some have shoes and socks and some are in their bare feet!

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