She’s Making A List, Ignoring It Twice
December 20, 2005
Things I still have left to do before Christmas:
1)Bake and decorate our gingerbread house. I am thinking of taking a lead from my friend Annalise and adapting her cookie-less chocolate chip cookie recipe and making a gingerbread-free gingerbread house, which would basically be giving the kids packages of Necco wafers, gum drops, and licorice string to eat and calling it a day.
2)Wrap way too many freaking presents for my children, which a month from now I will be tripping over and wondering why I didn’t just toss my money into the garbage and save myself the time and aggravation of shopping.
3) Clean my house so it will pass the white glove test of the relatives. God help me. Right now my house is in “kick a path” condition.
4) Buy some new wine glasses, since I have broken all but two of ours. If I don’t get to buy some I must then choose three relatives I would not mind sharing my glass with. Why do they make wine glasses so fragile? Don’t they know that drunk people will be handling them?
5) Bring the kids to see the mall Santa and get their picture taken with him. Wonder if I could test out my new wine glasses while doing this.
6) Decide what to serve for Christmas dinner and then buy it and cook it.
7)Bring the kids to the dollar store so they can buy presents for each other, Rob and me. Because Rob needs another one dollar ceramic figurine for his office, which is where we tell the kids all the
tacky shit, ugly crap, presents they give us end up.
Clean the bathrooms and make boy use the outdoors until after Christmas.
These are just the highlights of the normal things. I also have to finish painting my kitchen cabinets and installing the new hinges and hardware, thus giving the illusion to the relatives that our cabinets aren’t held together by spit and prayer. And hang my new dining room curtains. And… and…
And yet here I sit procrastinating. The only explanation I have for this is that I love the adrenaline rush of not knowing if it will all be done in time. Will the relatives be eating PB&J and the kids rooting through Target bags for the gifts?
I think I need more coffee.
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