Another Reason I Should Play The Lottery
January 5, 2006
Last night Rob stopped at the grocery store on his way home from work. I love when he goes grocery shopping. It’s like Christmas when he gets home and I go through all the bags, searching for a good snack.
It also saves us money. He writes a list and he does not deviate from that list one iota. He is not tempted by sales, or snacks, or the gathering-impulsive buying gene. His plan is singular in purpose. Find the items on the list as quickly as possible and get out of there.
He got home around 9:00pm and I rummaged through the bags found a box of granola and went back to the sunroom, or freezing cold room as it would be more aptly named this time of year, and sat down munching away. A few minutes later Rob came in the room and flopped down beside me. Neither of us made a move to deal with the groceries.
Finally Rob broke, “Do you need some help putting the groceries away?”
“Uh, no I don’t need any help, do you?”
A few more minutes passed.
“Do you want some help putting away the groceries?”
“Is this your way of asking me to get my lazy butt up off of the couch and put them away?”
“You said it, not me.”
More time passes and we are both still holding out, hoping the other person breaks first.
“My friend asked me if I wanted to go to (the big professional basketball game) tomorrow night. Would you mind if I go?”
“What do I get? Hmmm?”
“What do you want? Sex?” he asked hopefully.
I eventually recovered from laughing, “How about you put the groceries away?”
“Is that really what you want? Do you really think that is a fair exchange?”
“Yes and yes.” I answered.
Rob let out a big long sigh. “Forget it then. I’ll tell him I can’t go.”
“Suit yourself. I wish there was a place that would deliver your groceries AND put them away.”
“There is. It’s called heaven.”
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