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For The Love Of Popcorn

For The Love Of Popcorn

January 12, 2006

The other night Rob came home with a hot air popcorn popper. The kids were so excited. We gathered round the popper, the kids holding their popcorn containers in anticipation. We were having popcorn!

Rob turned it on. The unpopped kernels began flying out of the machine, taking the newly popped corn along with it. They were flying around the room, pelting us like tiny napalm bombs, landing on us and burning our skin. The kids were less than impressed and ran out of the room screaming about how much it hurt. Wimps.

Having never owned a hot air popcorn popper before this, we had no idea how efficient these things were. “Is it supposed to send all the popcorn flying around like this? It seems rather messy. Who would enjoy this?” Rob asked.

“Some popcorn loving masochistic freak, that’s who! For the love of God, TURN IT OFF!” I yelled, now safely in the other room with the wimps children.

This thing didn’t work at all, less than 10% of the kernels actually popped, and those that did had to be gathered up from all corners of the kitchen. Luckily in our house we have the ten hour rule. Any food that is on the floor for ten hours or less is deemed worthy to eat. And equally as lucky, children don’t mind eating food that has once been on the floor.

“If I didn’t know any better I would think that there was a Candid Camera crew lurking behind our curtains.” I said, “Surely this has to be a joke.”

I suppose we should have been clued in by looking at the box. Any product that has nothing more impressive to boast about on it’s box than having an on/off switch, couldn’t be all that good.

Piece of crap

Rob returned it to the store. I wanted to scrawl “PIECE OF CRAP” across the front of the box with a thick black marker to serve as a warning to anyone else who might want to buy a popcorn popper. But Rob thought that if I did that the store wouldn’t take it back.

This blog is nothing if not filled with good advice. Consider yourselves warned, people. Unless you are one of those popcorn loving masochistic freaks, and I mean that in a good way, in that case, this is the popcorn popper for you.

Posted by Chris @ 7:02 pm  

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Comments

  1. The Daring One says:

    Any post with “for the love” in the title will be read by myself forthwith. Your husband is wise. I would have gone with the marker idea.

  2. Earth Girl says:

    Hey, I almost included hot air popcorn poppers in my post about how I love kitchen gadgets. It is one of the very few kitchen items I’ve given away. Even if it had worked, it doesn’t taste like popcorn without the oil!

  3. aka meritt says:

    OMGosh… a blast from the past. My family (growing up) were the popcorn eaters of America. Yes, we owned an airpopper… at least 2 or 3 I think and if I’m not mistaken my parents probably still have one tucked in their pantry somewhere even though they typically make the microwave kind now.

    Actually before microwave popcorn came out do you remember those weird containers you could put your popcorn in and add all the stuff, balance it just right, close your eyes, spin in a cirle four times and say “I wish this would work” and 9 out of 10 times you could actually pop real kernals in the microwave?

    We weren’t cool enough to own one, but my friend Christie’s family had one.

    (Honestly I prefer my popcorn made on the stove in a pan… and yes my children and husband make fun of me. They call it Moms “Amish” popcorn.)

  4. Becky says:

    Whats sad is that I have a version of that popper. Except mine doesnt even have an on/off switch. How pathetic is that! lol

  5. nightmare_on_elm_st says:

    We have a different design, and we love it! It doesn’t shoot popcorn all over the kitchen or anything. Maybe we’re just weird.

  6. Mrs. G. says:

    We love our hotair popper! As for the oil…who needs oil when you can smother it in melted butter???

  7. fin says:

    That’s so old school!

  8. Fieldfleur says:

    Floor popcorn, ceiling popcorn, it’s all retrievably edible, isn’t it?

  9. novaks8 says:

    I’m just wondering if you told the boys “It’s popcorn kernels, not bullets!”

    lol

    You know I was cleaning out a junk pile the other day and found a copy of the letter you wrote to your neighbor.
    Remember the baseball one?

    too funny!

  10. biz says:

    Now unlike spaghetti - popcorn is NOT to be thrown (shot) at the walls/ceilings to see if it is ready ;-)
    I hated air poppers - no taste…
    I think growing up we tried them all - always went back to the pan over the flame, and then burned many a counter placing burning hot kettle on top…

  11. Meg says:

    Oh no! We eat popcorn like crazy people here. I used to have one of those oil + spinny thingy poppers and now we have an air popper that’s on its last legs. Maybe we can’t be friends anymore…;)

  12. blairzoo says:

    I have to say that we’ve had one for about 10 years and use it 4-5 times a week! It’s great. It doesn’t shoot popcorn all over the place unless you leave the top off(could you have been missing a piece?). Our favorite and healthy (sort of) way to eat it is to drizzle some butter mixed with olive oil on top, sprinkle a little salt, (and here’s the healthy part….) dump on a bunch of nutritional yeast flakes. YUM! All my kids love it and my teenager’s friends get so excited when they come in and see popcorn. Nutritional yeast is a powerhouse of vitamins and protein - good stuff.

    Maybe you could check one of those comparative chart online to see which one has the best ratings. I’m sure mine is discontinued by now, but it’s held up great for a long time.

  13. Jordana says:

    We had an air popper growing up. I don’t remember it being messy.

    Nowadays, we just use regular popcorn, a Corning Ware pan with a lid and a little oil and pop it in the microwave.

  14. Imperfect Mommy says:

    OH NO! I got one of these for Christmas… my 4 year old has food allergies so we can’t use any of the quickie microwave popcorn. So my sister in law thought this would be an improvement over having to do it on the stove (not do it, mind you, but make popcorn). I am thinking that might not be the case… plus I love making popcorn on the stove soaking in olive oil. Congrats on the nomination…

  15. Anonymous says:

    Don’t overfill those machines, make sure the lid is on and pop-away. Those poppers are “hands-down” the best poppers for making popcorn used for pranks in college. We once filled nearly an entire door room using one of those popping machines!

  16. Arlene says:

    Buy a “stir-crazy popcorn maker”. They make wonderful popcorn, and you won’t be sorry!!!!Promise.

  17. Christy says:

    Thanks for the LOL-for-real laugh! Talk about the perfect prank gift. *grin*

  18. TB says:

    I bought one of these air poppers about 10 years ago and haven’t had any problems. Sure, I do have the occasional “explosion” in the very beginning (with a few kernels launching), but after a few seconds, this goes away and I have nicely popped popcorn.
    Maybe you got a lemon air popper… it’s possible. I know of two other people who have this and they didn’t experience the problems you describe.

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