January 25, 2006
For purposes of comparison I will begin my day at the same time as Carmen.
5:30 I am still asleep.
6:10 Still sleeping.
6:12 - 6:15 Yup, asleep.
6:15 Rob’s alarm goes off for the first time and I punch and hiss at him to hurry up and turn the damn thing off before it wakes the baby up. No such luck, the baby snuggles up and wants to nurse.
6:24 Rob’s alarm goes off for the second time. The baby sits up and whips his head around, almost taking my nipple with him. Yell at Rob to turn the alarm off, not hit the snooze. Settle the baby back down to nurse some more.
6:33 Rob’s alarm goes off yet again. I finally sit up and reach over him to turn the alarm OFF. Tell him one of these days I am going to throw it across the room. It’s been 14 years and I haven’t done it yet, but one of these days I will.
6:35-6:45 Lay in bed cursing the inventor of the snooze alarm, while the baby jumps on me, pulling my hair, head butting, and generally bleating like an injured sheep.
6:45 My 6 yr old comes into my room to tell me that the baby woke him up again this morning and why can’t the baby be more quiet.
6:45 Head into my bathroom, take my mouth tray out, rinse out my mouth and give Rob a time check. (Yes, I am that sexy in the morning.)
6:46 Pick up the baby, run down the hallway with him hoping that he will be quiet and not scream outside of anyone’s bedroom door, especially the 2 yr old. I really need my coffee before seeing her bright shiny face in the morning.
6:47 Make coffee, drink my first glass of water and take my thyroid medication
6:48 Sit on couch with 6 yr old and wait for the coffee to be ready. Think about how energy is wasted on the youth and wonder why he needs to talk so much. Change the baby’s diaper. Give up on trying to wrestle him back into his pajamas and let him walk around with the legs of his sleeper trailing along behind him.
6:55 Coffee is done and look for my special coffee mug, which in reality is an insulated travel mug that long ago lost it’s lid. I realize that it is in the dishwasher and that I forgot to turn it on last night. I take it out and wash it by hand (gasp!) and turn the dishwasher on. Rob grabs a cup of coffee, we discuss our plans for the day, and he leaves for work.
7:00 I go to use the bathroom. On the way back from the bathroom I notice the laundry. I take the snow clothes out of the dryer and put them away in the closet. Each kid has their own hook and wire basket with their name. I switch the wet clothing from the washer into the dryer.
7:15 Remember my coffee. grab my coffee and go sit on the couch with my 6 yr old and 5 yr old who has just come downstairs.
7:30 let them turn on PBS. Get up and head into kitchen. Get my laptop out. Pick up all the tupperware on the floor that the baby has scattered across the room. Notice that someone (okay, me) left the bag of garbage in the kitchen last night instead of bringing it to the can outside. The baby has pulled stuff out of it and scattered it across the floor as well.
7:35 Finish cleaning up the kitchen floor and head outside with the garbage, while the baby walks behind me screaming like I am taking away his most precious possession.
7:40 Sit down with computer and check email, news, and a few blogs.
7:50 Begin making breakfast. This morning it is pumpkin raisin bread. Make the batter, with help, while listening to the 5 yr old complain that he wants French toast and how I never make it. For the record, I just made it a couple days ago.
8:05 Put pumpkin bread into oven. Put tupperware back into the cabinets. Head back to laundryroom and begin folding clothes. The baby helps by taking items out of the basket and throwing them around the room.
8:10 My 8 yr old son comes downstairs. He sits at the breakfast room table and talks to me while I continue to fold clothes.
8:20 Two yr old wakes up. negotiate terms of her using the potty. Twelve mini marshmallows and a song.
8:21 hold 1 yr old back from toilet with my foot. Do butt duty while standing on one leg.
8:23 Hand out marshmallows
8:24 Test them to make sure they taste okay. Test a few more.
8:26 Phone rings. I can’t find it. Okay, I don’t really look, but assume if it is important they will call back.
8:28 Cell phone rings. It is Rob calling to say good morning and ask why I didn’t answer the phone.
8:30 In a completely atypical and never done before event, my 9 yr old comes downstairs. Usually he sleeps in very late and requires me to go upstairs and rouse him several times before he gets up. He says he got up early to help make French toast. Huh? Is this some sort of conspiracy?
8:35 Tell 9 yr old to take his medicine. He tells me he would prefer me to use the word pills.
8:37 Ask 9 yr old if he would like me to get his pills for him
8:38-8:49 Try to remain calm in the face of 9 yr old and his ADHD self. Go to my internal happy place where it is always sunny and peaceful.
8:50 Tell 9 yr old that if he takes his medication right away, I’ll let him help make French toast
8:51 Experience the joy that is an ADHD child before his medication kicks in. Something that only people who have a child like this can understand. He is belligerent, has no impulse control, and provokes everyone around him. Chant “happy place, happy place” to myself.
8:55 Begin making French toast.
9:00 First batch is done. Realize that someone has turned the dishwasher off and all dishes are still dirty. Curse a bit. Wash dishes by hand. Clean off stove top. Scrape dried egg off where it has splattered.
9:30 A dozen eggs and two loaves of bread later, breakfast is done. Clean off breakfast room table.
9:31 Eleven yr old asks if he can have a snack.
9:32 Load breakfast dishes into dishwasher and turn it on. Hand wash pans.
9:39 Look at to do list. Nothing that has to be done this morning. Add calling tuxedo rental place for the tuxedo the 6 yr old needs for the wedding of Rob’s niece.
9:40 Pick tupperware up off of the floor yet again.
9:41 Go upstairs. Make my bed and beds of three littles. Brush my teeth, wash my face. tie hair back into a pony tail. Get dressed and wear extremely unfashionable, yet comfortable, straight leg jeans, a white long sleeved GAP shirt, and a lime green v-neck sweater from Old Navy. Feel good about doing my part to support cheap foreign child labor. Pick out clothes for 1 and 2 yr olds. On the way back downstairs yell to other children to gather up their schoolwork and meet me downstairs. Remind 5 and 6 yr olds to bring their dirty clothes baskets to the laundry room.
9:55 Torture 1 and 2 yr olds by forcing them to wear clothing and have their hair brushed.
9:57 Do the laundry switch again. Grab an empty laundry basket and fill it with all the children’s snow clothes and boots for tubing this afternoon. Haul it over to the door so that we don’t forget it.
10:00 Yell up the stairs once more for the stragglers to come down with their school books. Head outside to install brand new carseat in the van for the one year old.
And that concludes the morning at my house.
My God, my life is boring when detailed in all it’s splendor. Though admittedly there is lots of things that have been omitted, but those were the even more boring things like telling people to brush their teeth or put the baby gate back up on the stairs before the baby plummets to his death.
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