Precariously Close To The Straight Jacket
January 26, 2006
If I ever have a complete and total nervous breakdown, it isn’t going to be the direct result of some major event. It is going to be an everyday occurrence that finally pushes me right over the edge.
It is going to occur because one of my children turned the toaster to the darkest setting after using it and I was the unfortunate person who tried to make toast next and ended up with the last two pieces of bread in the house turned to charcoal.
Or it will be that upon entering the shower I discover yet again that the brand new bottle of shampoo is empty and the bar of soap has been broken into hundreds of tiny pieces and stuffed into the drain.
Or it will be because the baby gate has been knocked down from the staircase and is laying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs and people are ignoring it and STEPPING ON IT rather than picking it back up.
Or because I go to buy some fancy pants clothing for my children to wear to my niece’s night wedding and the sellers want to charge $15 shipping per item. What are they smoking? And more importantly, will they be mailing some of it along with the fancy pants clothing? Because maybe I’d consider it then.
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