I Can Only Hope You Are Not Eating Right Now
January 30, 2006
Lesson learned this weekend:
When your child says that they feel sick, it would be wise to believe them and pull the car over. Saying, “knock it off” doesn’t make the child stop whining and only serves to make you feel like a class A jackass when he then vomits all over himself.
When my two yr old, still strapped into her carseat, looked over at him and gagged, I snapped, “Oh, no you don’t. Knock it off.” I am nothing if not consistent in my empathy. But I could not take a chain reaction. As it was I barely able to stop the contents of stomach from spilling out all over the car.
I was relieved that I only had three kids with me when I had to strip him down to just his jeans. Jeans that were now soaking wet because I had to clean them with baby wipes, many, many baby wipes. I bagged his shirt and winter coat up in a shopping bag that was in the car and tossed them into the trunk, where they would bake and later require scraping to get the encrusted vomit off of them. But that wasn’t until later, at this point I was just happy to postpone dealing with any more vomit.
Luckily I had pulled in and found a parking spot right in front of the GAP. I directed him to stand on the sidewalk while I got the other two out of their carseats.
A woman walking by looked at him, and then at me with such disgust on her face, and said that it wasn’t that warm outside yet. I mumbled something back about him throwing up all over himself.
Honestly, I was taken aback. It was a warm day, unseasonably warm in the high 40’s, but there is still snow on the ground. And further more, even when it is 100 degrees outside, people don’t usually take children of his age out in public shopping without shirts on. She was several yards away before I thought of a a snarky comment to say back to her. I hate when that happens. I decided not to chase her down and say it, since I think it would have lost something and only served to make me look more crazy than I already appeared.
Once inside the GAP, we quickly had him re-outfitted, and we were able to soldier on with our shopping.
I found a dress for my daughter at a department store that was 80% off of the already marked down clearance price. So I bought her two dresses and a faux fur stole that almost makes me cry due to it’s unbelievable cuteness.
And I bought myself a pair of shoes and a pair of tall black boots, because can a girl have too much footwear? No, she can not. Especially when they are free, or 80% free. It was like they were paying me to take the inventory off of their hands. At least that is what I like to tell myself. Considering I had picked chunks of vomit off of my child’s clothing and carseat with baby wipes, while pretending it wasn’t at all disgusting, and not once gagging audibly, well I deserved new shoes.
Of course when I told Rob this he wanted to know if they were paying me to shop why did I give them $250. Such a man.
RSS feed for comments on this post.
The URI to TrackBack this entry is: