It’s Just One More Step On The Road to Crazyville
January 31, 2006
Like good parents everywhere, we engage in the futile attempts of preventing our little children from getting into our cabinets. Futile because despite our good intentions they still manage to find a way to circumvent the child proof locking devices and get to the rubbermaid, pots, pans, and small appliances.
This is what I discovered in my kitchen yesterday:
See anything amiss? Like where are the cabinet knobs?
Upon further investigation I find them. And the lock that used to hold the doors shut.
You’ll notice that the lock is still locked tight. My son unscrewed the knobs from the cabinet doors.
Is there some manual somewhere that these babies are reading that none of us grownups are privy to? Or are babies just getting smarter. My personal theoryis that there is something in those prenatal vitamins, some sort of super neuron synapse booster*. Coupled with the fact that when our mothers were pregnant with us they were still drinking cocktails and smoking cigarettes, it’s no wonder that our brain power is not equal to that of our children.
When my five year old was this age we had the type of safety lock on our cabinet doors that was on the inside of the door. You would have to open the door up about an inch, push down on the latch to release it, and then you could open the door. My son used to stand in front of the cabinet door and take out his fury on the cabinet, shaking the door back and forth, back and forth, with all his might. While screaming on the top of his lungs at the injustice of it all.
One day I walked into the kitchen and the door was gone. The entire door … gone. He had pushed and pulled so hard on the door that the hinges gave way and the door came free. He then dragged the door away and I would later it find it several rooms away.
And this is why, if you ever come to my house, you will learn two things:
1) All cleaning things are kept in obscure, inconvenient high places, and may or may not be used on a regular basis, and
2) All rubbermaid containers, pots, pans, and muffin tins must be washed before coming into contact with food, unless stray hairs, dirt and debris are desired in the food. I know that most people have clean things put away in their cabinets, but at this house you can never be sure.
Consequently, you should visit at your own risk.
*I have no idea what this means, since I was not a recpient of those vitamins and have also had seven brain sucking pregnancies. But it sounds smart. Unless of course you actually are smart, then I suppose it doesn’t.
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