When Being Hot Refers To Hot Flashes
February 13, 2006
Saturday I was driving home from the dentist when I realized that I was on empty and had better get to a gas station.
I pulled into the gas station and got out of the car to pump my gas. There were a group of three guys, college age I am guessing, at the next pump over who were looking at me. I pumped my gas and as I went to get back into my car I noticed that they were turning and smiling at me. It’s not everyday that I get noticed by men. I think the whole seven- kids- hanging- off- of -every- available- appendage- or- else -whining- about- something is a real turn off for men flirting with me. I don’t know why, because seven kids, a mom van, and stained clothes scream, “WHAT A CATCH!” to me.
So, I began to get a little big headed, thinking to myself that even though I am
8, 10, 12, 15, 20 years older than they are (Oh dear God, I just realized that I could, in theory, be their mother. Eeeewww) I still have it going on.
I smiled back and got into my car and began to drive off. One of them waved and as I went to wave back I glanced into the outside mirror and realized that my gas tank was open and the gas cap was still sitting on my trunk.
I pulled the brake and got out of the car to close it all up, which involved chasing down the rolling away gas cap. I gave a little wave and laughed, happy that I didn’t slip and fall like I typically do, because that would be embarrassing.
I got back in the car, feeling like I was all that and a bag of chips. I looked into the rear view mirror to adjust my sunglasses and noticed that I had drool coming out of my mouth and down my chin.
And then I came to the sad realization, they weren’t looking at me because they thought I was hot, they were looking at me because they we were wondering what a retarded woman was doing driving a car.
A retarded woman who was old enough to be their mother.
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