Things I Thought Were Obvious, But Apparently Were Not Based On The Following Evidence
March 5, 2006
Another post which will have people telling me how bratty my children are and that I should slap them
“What’s that all over the wall?” I ask.
“Glue. We ran out of tape and I wanted to hang my pictures up.” answers my 5 year old son.
When it is cold out we still have to bring the garbage all the way out to the trashcan. Opening the front door and tossing it all on the front porch is not acceptable. No, it isn’t acceptable even when it is -20 with the windchill. No, not even when there is snow whipping around outside. No, even if there is a tornado I want the trash in the garbage can. Alien space ship landing? Well, in that case grab all of the trash and bring it onto their mothership with you. I think the aliens will like it and it will save me a trip to the dump.
Under no circumstances should you try to open up a bottle with you front teeth. Your grown up second teeth. Yes, even if you think they look like they are like huge beaver teeth.
Porcelain tooth veneers are expensive. There are not many paying jobs for ten year olds.
When filling out the little wedding reception RSVP card I was unable to find a pen that worked and had to resort to using a purple crayon. I like to think that it gives the card a little something extra.
If you are going to write a “bad” word on the bathroom wall, you know to give our house that little extra special crack house appeal, you should make sure that you spell the word correctly. Because it will make it very easy to deduce who wrote it. The youngest four can easily be eliminated because they can’t write. The oldest two know how to spell. That leaves you, oh 8 year old who hasn’t mastered that silent “t” yet.
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