No, He Can’t Win
March 24, 2006
Rob got dressed this morning and came downstairs.
“How do you like this outfit?” he asked.
“I think you look hot. I really like that belt, too.” I answered, looking up from my computer.
“Why? What’s wrong with the belt?”
“Nothing. I like it.”
“But, why did you mention the belt? Does it make me look fat?” he asked.
“Uh, no. I said I like it.”
“But you mentioned my belt specifically. Is there something wrong with it?”
“What the hell is your problem?”
“Nothing. I’m just trying to show you what you do when I give you a compliment and you pick it apart.” he answered, all proud of himself, like he had pointed out something insightful of which I was not aware.
“Hmmm, I like how your shirt is puffing out like that. Is it blousing out over your belt, or is that your stomach?” I asked.
“Huh?” he asked, looking down at his shirt.
“Do you mean for it to look like that? Not that there is anything wrong with that…” I said to him.
“What?” he asked, growing increasingly alarmed and confused.
“Nothing. I’m just trying to show you what it is like to be the receiver of one of your compliments. And I use the word compliment very loosely.”
“I have so much to learn.”
Indeed.
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LOL Poor Rob!
You show him Chris! ;o)
March 24th, 2006 at 10:23 amMEN! Last night I said I was getting fat and my husband said he was getting fat, too. Thanks! I told him what he was supposed to say.
March 24th, 2006 at 10:53 amLOL! That is great! I’m gonna try it on hubby this weekend!
March 24th, 2006 at 10:53 amooh, dueling in the morning!
Mary, mom to many and known to do a bit of dueling herself at times (head hanging)
March 24th, 2006 at 11:04 amOh, wife strikes back! Good for you. I am going to take a page from your book and try it myself, at the first given opportunity. Knowing my husband, it won’t be long…
March 24th, 2006 at 11:14 amHusbands everywhere need to read this and realize that they really and truly can’t win. I needed that laugh.
March 24th, 2006 at 11:15 amI’m not your side, but I can’t help but feel a little sorry for your husband. He doesn’t stand a chance.
March 24th, 2006 at 11:30 amHa! Brilliant!
Paisley - I know exactly how you feel! I told Wilman I felt humongous the other day, and he said, “Oh, you’re not THAT big.” Er, gee thanks.
March 24th, 2006 at 11:37 amLove it! My husband recently and unwisely said “You should wear things like that more often.” …triggering something primal in my insecurity sector and when I turn slowly toward him with a staredown eye he should just throw up his hands and give up….
March 24th, 2006 at 12:02 pmYou are a very wicked woman.
Rob should know better that to take on an evil genius like you.
March 24th, 2006 at 12:14 pmScore another one for you!
Rob: 1
Chris: 15,000,000,001
March 24th, 2006 at 12:34 pmHa! Love your blog!
March 24th, 2006 at 12:54 pmSomewhat the same as when my husband gives me that ‘look’ that means ‘you are wearing what out of the house?’ I told him to choose his battles wisely with that look, because sometimes he would rather me wear ‘that’ out of the house than hear about it all the way to wherever we are going. ha ha! women are so manipulative.
March 24th, 2006 at 1:58 pmhaha
but Guiness….Paisley is pregnant!
lol
Poor guy probably thought it was the one time it was OKAY to say she looked chubby.
~~~
Chris- I think you are both right. We just perceive things differently.
March 24th, 2006 at 2:08 pmMy husband and I have such different ways of communicating.
Indeed, he does have much to learn, the first being: don’t puck with you!
March 24th, 2006 at 3:17 pmI’m loving your blog!
March 24th, 2006 at 3:25 pmOh, foolish mortal to open that door: you were kind.
March 24th, 2006 at 3:49 pmmy name is samantha, and i just discovered your blog. i love it! i’m 13, and my sister sounds just like that when i tell her i like her …hair, for instance. you rock!
March 24th, 2006 at 3:56 pmTouché.
March 24th, 2006 at 5:06 pmHave a great weekend.
oooh, you’re good.
March 24th, 2006 at 10:25 pmpoor guy, he doesn’t stand a chance.
Rob is an alpha-male. He needs a better woman.
March 25th, 2006 at 12:15 pmHa!
That is priceless.
March 25th, 2006 at 12:41 pmAt least yours *tries* to give you compliments…. you know what *I* get?? “Hey, did you mean to buy that? Was it on sale? No, no, the colour’s good… but … nothing nothing… it’s good. No really. Is that you’re bum …. nothing… really… how much did you pay for it? Do you have the receipt? No… no.. it looks… … … … … … … … new …”
March 25th, 2006 at 3:30 pmPoor guy. That is too funny.
March 25th, 2006 at 3:30 pmand THAT is why you rock. I’m so inspired.
March 25th, 2006 at 4:25 pmOk…Everyone in my house just ran over to me at the computer to see why I am laughing so hard and at such a volume! You got me again, girl. So funny!
Will they ever learn? Doubt it.
March 25th, 2006 at 4:57 pmHAHA!
Well played, my friend.
March 25th, 2006 at 10:32 pmHe never had a chance, poor dear.
How do you manage to be so quick on so little sleep? I can’t quite manage it yet, you are amazing!
March 26th, 2006 at 1:03 amI heard about your blog in Babytalk! Love it!
March 26th, 2006 at 1:27 amLOL. That was funny. I seen your blog site in BabyTalk and I love what I’m reading so far.
March 26th, 2006 at 10:48 amLove your blog! Too funny! Sounds alot like some of the conversations me and my hubby have! When will they learn! LOL
March 26th, 2006 at 12:04 pmFunny! My Beloved always has a kind word for me. I really never hear an unkind word about what I’m wearing. Sometimes I change clothes because he is, well, HAPPY to see something fit so well. I don’t want every other man in town/church/wherever to see what my Beloved sees. It’s all for him, nobody else.
March 26th, 2006 at 12:58 pmGood comeback, though. Quick wits you’ve got there!
That was great, had me really laughing…men!
March 26th, 2006 at 9:40 pmLove your blog, Im new.
a.
I saw your blog on BabyTalk. What you said is so truthful, men just don’t understand.
March 27th, 2006 at 10:09 amBURN!
March 27th, 2006 at 2:23 pmHrumph. That’ll teach him. All his comments should be in the realm of how fabulous and skinny you are! Because you are!
March 27th, 2006 at 6:46 pmYou could do a blog on the spats you two have! Very amusing! Especially since you always win! Don’t worry Rob we love ya!
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April 13th, 2006 at 5:00 pm