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Your New HMO Doctor Team

Your New HMO Doctor Team

April 21, 2006

Wow, I had no idea that drilling fingernails would elicit such strong reactions from so many of you. It didn’t make me feel the least bit queasy, making me think that perhaps I have been desensitized by the overwhelming level of testosterone in my home.

Many people emailed berating asking me about infection and wasn’t I worried that his finger would develop gangrene and fall off. The truth is, no. Maybe I am a bad mother, but I was more concerned about my brain exploding and oozing out of my broken eardrums if I had to listen to him whine much more about how much it hurt and how it hampered his ability to squeeze his baseball glove. And really people can live normal and productive lives without thumbs.

To put everyone’s mind at ease, I’ll tell you that I did instruct him to wash his thumb really well and pour hydrogen peroxide over it. Everyone loves the way peroxide bubbles up over wounds, it’s the best part of getting hurt at our house. Then I sealed up the tiny hole in his nail with Crazy Glue. See, all better. Why yes, I am a doctor.

I got a bottle of Clorox Anywhere Hard Surface Daily Sanitizing Spray in the mail last week to test out, and I was tempted to spray him with it as it says it is safe and “gentle enough to use around children, pets, and food” But then I thought I would save it for more important things.

Next time I am concerned I didn’t grill our hamburgers quite long enough I am going to spray them with the Clorox Anywhere Hard Surface Daily Sanitizing Spray before putting them on the buns.


Mindy
tagged me:

Four Jobs I Have Had:
1) GAP-very first job at 16 (fired from it)
2) Ann Taylor- second job at 17 (fired from it)
3) Nanny -while going to grad school
4) Indentured servant (17 more years until I earn my freedom)

Four Movies I Can Watch Over And Over:
I can only watch a movie once

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:
(Love would be a bit strong)
1) The Office
2) 24 (though we are watching season 2 from netflix)
3) American Idol (yeah, I know)
4) ?

Four Places I’ve Been On Vacation:
1) Spain
2) Canary Islands
3) West Africa
4) Florida

Four Tunes That Play In My Head:
(this one is hard, I frequently have songs running through my head like a soundtrack to whatever is going on. I often find myself thinking that if my life were a movie this would be the appropriate background song. Yes, I am nuts. But the only ones that get stuck are usually insipid kid songs)

1) You are my sunshine
2) Slip Slidin’ Away
3) Elmo’s theme song
4) ?

Four Favorite Dishes:
1)Toasted bagel with PB and honey
2)Starburst jellybeans (that counts as a dish if you eat the entire bag, right?)
3)Spinach salad with vine ripened tomatoes, feta cheese, and balsamic vinegrette
4)Fajitas

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
1) this one
2) Google.com
3) cnn.com
4) all the ones over there in my sidebar

Four Books I Really Love:
This would be easier if it were four books I have hated

Four Places I’d Rather Be:
1) On a trip around the world with unlimited time and funds
2) On a warm beach
3) A house that has already been completely remodeled
4) Did I say on a warm beach?

Posted by Chris @ 8:43 am  

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Comments

  1. s u s a n says:

    Are you serious? People need to chill out … lol I once pierced my own ear with a safety pin. Both ears are still in the correct place and functioning properly.

  2. TBG says:

    People are crazy! I hope he still has a thumb tomorrow!

  3. lammyann says:

    baarruuuuuthhhhher. You have to be kidding me. People are wayyy too high strung!
    I have a serious bone about all the “ANTIBACTERIAL” crap that is out on the market. People get so freaked out over ever little germ that our kids might get that people are overall sicker more often because they’re immune system isn’t used to bacteria.
    I also did the ‘own piercing’ thing… multiple times…and I can be 99% sure that I didn’t sterilize my hands or the pin. No infection, gangreen or any other problems…’cept when I got home and my mom saw them!
    Serious problems then!

  4. aka meritt says:

    ROTFL… OMG.

    Well I read the story too early I guess as I missed all those comments. But I would say “SHUT UP FOR PETES SAKE!”

    But I suppose those are the same people that rush to the doctors office at the first sign of a sniffle, a cough and such. (And probably have an on going account at the pharmacists office for amoxicillon as well). Whatever.

    I grew up with three brothers and a Dad… well, to tell ya the truth I didn’t bat an eye at your story. As a matter of fact I would have drilled my OWN FINGERNAIL if that had happened to me.

    Not a big deal. Ignore them.

  5. lammyann says:

    (not to say I don’t by those quick wipes that help me clean up the bathroom in a jiffy)

  6. AnnieM says:

    I thought it was brilliant! Not to mention cost effective. Yay for thrifty kids!

  7. Katie says:

    You crack me up! At least you didn’t break out the duct tape for band-aids. hehe

  8. nightmare_on_elm_st says:

    I’m a GIRL, and I drilled a hole in my fingernail (admittedly, my dad told me to) when I shut it in a car door in 11th grade and had the black, swollen thing to deal with. Finger is still working properly. People today are such nuts!

  9. Silly Older Bear says:

    I did the meme thing from Mindy, too. But I’ve never been to West Africa or the Canary Islands.

    In fact, I’ve only been out of the US to go to… Mexico. Which is closer to me than most of the US, so that’s kinda odd. Not much of the world traveller, except in my dreams.

    I’ll need to check out the Clorox, thanks for the tip..

  10. novaks8 says:

    There was a news story a while back that said that kids who grow up around more dirt and germs end up healthier.

    My kids rarely get sick and when they do it’s over in a few days.
    We don’t load them up with medicine either.

    No asthma or allergies to anything but normal old pollen.

    So I think I will stick with the way I do things.

    And I won’t jinx myself and say anything like how we have never had to go to the ER…..

  11. Emily says:

    Clorox Anywhere is awesome. I am far from a germaphobe, but it works perfectly for cleaning up the highchair tray. Especially after the dog licks it clean. Though I then proceed to let the dog lick the baby…on the mouth. I must say that I would have freaked at the thought of using the drill to heal the finger, but I’m new to mothering boys (only one, and he’s 10 months and) and grew up with all girls. But gangrene would be the least of my concerns. Love, love, love your blog. I have even gotten my 15 year old sister hooked. Your way with words is amazing, your daily adventures hilarious!

  12. halloweenlover says:

    You’ve been to West Africa? I’m so jealous!!!

    I’ve heated up a needle and gone through my nail and been fine. I was a little freaked that he actually DRILLED with a DRILL through his fingernail, because I guess he could have actually drilled through his actual FINGER, but I think he’ll be fine. It was done! What were you supposed to do?

  13. Geggie says:

    I love your blog. I don’t have kids yet, but I want to be a mom JUST LIKE YOU when I grow up!

  14. Ms. Mamma says:

    Thanks to your innovative thinking we have the END of the Bacteria Burger as we know it. Stupendous! Every mommy hold their bottle in the air, pull the trigga and S-P-R-A-Y

  15. carla says:

    When I first read about your son drilling his nail I thought, wow, what a brave and gutsy kid! It’s one of those stories that will become a family legend.

    But aside from germs, fingers and drills - what I *really* want to know, Chris, is why you were fired from 2 jobs?! lol

    Love your blog -
    carla

  16. The Complimenting Commenter says:

    It sounds like you did a wonderful job. I don’t think you’re a bad mother at all. I loved your lists too. Being on a beach sounds wonderful right now.

  17. wendy says:

    Oh puhleaze! I wonder if the people berating you are actual parents in real life?! Kids do nutty things and we can’t follow them around all day trying to make sure they aren’t drilling their fingers, for crying out loud! And heaven forbid you choose to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Ridiculous! I for one thought it was hilarious–afterall, he didn’t drill all of the way through his thumb! ;-)

  18. Jody says:

    #3 of your 4 favorite dishes is mine too!

    Where were you with your drill and super glue when I had that big absess on my spine???

  19. biz says:

    Sheesh, your beraters probably haven’t heard of a thing called a HOME BIRTH!

    I got a tooth extracted once with no meds of any kind - no shot. Oh and had a baby without meds too!

  20. Maddy says:

    Geeeezzzz those poor unfortunates don’t realize that your son probably had more germs UNDER this fingernail in the first place than could possibly be on a drill bit. I think your son was brave, resourceful, thoughtful and just wanted to go play Baseball.

  21. Heavens to Betsy says:

    What a riot! I think you have done a great job raising your kids (so far). I mean how many kids would have that kind of resourcefulness combined with gumption? Way to go. My son’s been driving our big 18 hp ride on mower since he was 6. (And does a better job than his dad…) Of course the neighbors probably have had their fingers on the last # for DSS for years… Probably just jealous at how good the lawn looks. Your blogs give me grins over my first coffee of the day. Can’t wait to see your next one.

  22. cmhl says:

    I find myself needing to know why you were fired as well!! that is GOT to be a fun story!

  23. Melissal says:

    You just kill me! I think we’re very similiar as mother’s go except I only have four. I would LOVE it if my kid drilled his own finger! Save us the ER bill, please! I still want to know what your favorite books are though. Oh, and I hear this all the time and I’m sure you do too: “with blank many kids”, how do you find the time to read?”. Thanks.

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