No more pretending to like them
April 27, 2006
Yesterday I read a post about having a “favored” child, a child who, for whatever reason, you feel the most connected with. I commented on the post, perhaps at too great a length, but my love for being wordy and and using run on sentences can not be stopped sometimes.
I wrote, in part:
If I were to be honest I’d have to say that I see in him all the characteristics that I don’t like in myself, and in my other son I see all the things I wish that I could be.
I love them both equally, but differently.
Some person felt the need to track me down and email me about my comment. It would take no less than visiting four different web pages to find my email address. One would think that any ire a trollish person would have would dissipate by that point. But one would be wrong.
I went to my email box and saw an email with the subject line “BREEDER!!!1!” I almost deleted it thinking it was yet another offer to satisfy my partner and enlarge my PENi$.
But I am so glad that I read it. Because how else was I to know what a horrible mother I am. And what a disservice I am doing to my children. And how people like me don’t deserve to have children. I could have emailed the person back, you know if they left a legitimate email address, or ignored it… but I have issues with letting things just go. Also neither of those options are much fun.
The email said (capitalization and punctuation corrected for ease of reading by people with a modicum of intelligence), “What would your children think if they found out you liked one of them best?”
It was then that I realized I must do something. I couldn’t just go on letting my children think I loved them ALL. So I decided to make some t-shirts. That way they, and the rest of the world, will know exactly where my feelings lie.
I made the t shirts all the same size so that when we are out and one of them does something to annoy me I can make them all switch shirts to suit my whim.
“Uh huh, you want to have a tantrum and roll around on the ground. Switch shirts with your brother.”
And yes I realize I made 8 shirts even though I only have 7 children. That’s in case I decide I don’t like ANY of them on a given day. So just in time for Mother’s day, I present shirts to show your children, and the world, how you really feel about them.
Shirt Number 1:
Shirt Number 2:
RSS feed for comments on this post.
The URI to TrackBack this entry is: