Three Thursday Thoughts
May 4, 2006
There is nothing better than waking up and coming downstairs at 6:30am and being greeted by your seven year old. Your adorable seven year old, who is standing on a stool at the kitchen counter and who informs you that he has made a pot of coffee. And upon further questioning you discover that it has made it correctly.
That is why he gets to wear the “I’m my mother’s favorite” t-shirt today with the “Mom loves me best” baseball cap and “I am the cutest” wristband.
And when he learns to serve it to me in bed, he’ll get the “Favorite Kid” permanent tattoo.
On to more important things.
What exactly is the protocol for buying fundraising crap that the children of your friends or co workers are selling?
Theoretically speaking, if you buy some cookies, or wrapping paper, or frozen pizza dough, or support someone in a walk-a-thon thing, or several of the above for the same theoretical person, is there an assumption that they will buy a tub of frozen cookie dough when your kid is theoretically selling it?
Furthermore, if you have the theoretical cookie dough sheet in your office and said
fundraiser hog person comes in to the office to remind you that they are doing a walk a thon thingy, yet they decline to buy the cookie dough from you….
What would the proper theoretical response be:
1) Stammer uncomfortably, being non-committal and avoid said person for the next week or so until their walk is over
2) Say, “I don’t fucking think so.”
3) Give the $25 anyway, but stew about it silently and vow not to buy anything from said person again… until the next time they ask.
I think it is obvious which one I would say, and also equally obvious why I don’t work in an office.
Why do we have to have these stupid fundraisers anyway? I’m not talking about the cancer walk a thons and things of that sort, to me those are in a separate category. I’m talking about the endless school, scouts, sports fundraisers where you hit up your friends and neighbors for overpriced crap so that a small percentage goes back to the school, troop, team, whatever.
I am totally willing to contribute more money to my children’s activities if it means we can all stop with this. I don’t want over priced wrapping paper, stinky candles, or a tub of preservative laden cookie dough, which by the way you should totally buy from me, theoretically.
To wrap up this post, I’ll leave you with a snippet of a conversation I overheard between my 5 and 7 yr olds.
“Sword swallowers are not idiots. They are very talented.”
“No, they are idiots. Anyone who sticks a sword down their esophagus is an idiot.”
“Yeah, but they are cool.”
“Yeah, you’re right. But you can be cool and an idiot too.”
“A cool, talented idiot.”
I am glad we cleared that up. Tune in next time where they wax philosophical about why Kermit the frog is no longer on Sesame Street.
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