Revised Edition Forty Things To Do Before I Turn Forty:
May 5, 2006
1) Learn to knit, so I can one day knit a blanket, scarf, long chain for my grandchildren
2) Start and continue an exercise regime for three months, even if it kills me [God, I'm lazy][I GAVE UP EXERCISE FOR LENT THIS YEAR. ALSO, HEALTHY FOOD]
3) Do sit ups everyday for 3 months [Yup, still lazy]
4) Learn to accept my body and all it’s imperfections (yeah, right) [oh, I am laughing...wooo hooo.][STILL LAUGHING]
5)Read novels I should have already read, classics I read a long time ago and either hated them with a fiery passion or loved them with a fiery passion to see if time has changed my feelings towards them [Still hate One Hundred years Of Solitude... hate it.]
6) Go to Paris with my husband
7) Spend a summer in Italy with my children
See the Grand Canyon
9) Take my kids to a Broadway show. I used to go frequently when I was child and have such fond memories of the experience [after looking at the prices of tickets, I'm not so sure I even want to do this one anymore]
10)Bring my daughter to the American Girl Cafe
11)Find my father, before he ends up dying and I never get to meet him.
12) Renew my wedding vows and have a party to celebrate, since we never had a wedding.
13)Finish writing a book (should probably start it too.)
14) Go through all our photographs and select some to matte and frame. AND hang them on the wall in our family room. [I've done a few]
15)Gather pictures of our home renovation and compile them into a coffee table scrapbook thing [I AM LIVING THE HELL, NO NEED TO MAKE A BOOK ABOUT IT]
16)Spend an entire 24 hour day without once yelling [I should be able to do this one around July 28th][ACCOMPLISHED SO WHAT IF I WAS 3000 MILES AWAY FROM HOME]
17)Bring my children to one of those indoor playgrounds and let them play without making myself nauseous over the amount of germs and bacteria they are touching and NOT once force them to go and wash their hands in the middle of playing. (Not sure I can do this one as just typing it is making me sick to my stomach.) I do draw the line at coating their hands with hand sanitizer and spraying them down with lysol before they get into the van; there are just some things that I can’t give up. [I don't think I'll ever be able to do this... ever] [SO NOT EVER GOING TO HAPPEN]
18) Ride on a rollercoaster, and if I feel particularly daring one that goes upside down [I WENT SNOW TUBING DOWN A REALLY STEEP HILL... DOES THAT COUNT? I DIDN'T THINK SO.]
19) Catch up on buying all my children their annual Christmas ornament. (The idea is that I buy the children an ornament every year that represents them at that year of their life. When they grow up they will take the ornaments. Though who knows they will probably think it is totally stupid and queer and I will be stuck with all these ornaments on my tree forever or my attic) [I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON CATCHING UP WITH THESE, MY YOUNGER CHILDREN ARE ALL SET. YEAH I REALIZE THEY HAVE ONLY HAD 2 OR 3 CHRISTMASES. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?]
20) Work tirelessly to rid the fashion world of low waisted pants by complaining constantly to anyone who will listen. [I work on this one every. single. day.][WHO COULD HAVE FORSEEN THAT THE ALTERNATIVE WOULD BE THE SKINNY JEAN]
21) Dig out my paints and easel and paint a painting [ACCOMPLISHED 2/2007]
22) Hang the painting up somewhere in my house [ACCOMPLISHED 3/11/2007]
23) Read the entire Narnia series aloud to my younger children [One book down.]
24) Take all my children to a baseball game at Fenway Park, wear a baseball hat, cheer and pretend I am a fan for the day
25) Find a reliable babysitter
26) Buy a huge bottle of vitamins and take them every day until the bottle is empty, without missing a day
27) Make it a habit to drink 8 glasses of water a day [though I am beginning to think if it were actually good for us to drink this much water our bladders would have evolved to be much larger. Also, God would have made water more tasty][I DOUBT THIS WILL EVER HAPPEN EITHER]
28) Finish renovating my house [before it sucks the very life out of my soul] [WORKING ON IT]
29) Get rid of all the things in my house that are just clutter and would benefit someone else [I'm trying, but convincing other people that their stuff is crap and they should get rid of it, isn't easy][AND THEY KEEP BUYING MORE STUFF!]
30) Make an ice skating rink in my back yard, build a bonfire, make hot chocolate, and have a skating party and enjoy it [DIDN'T HAPPEN THIS YEAR DUE TO FREAKISHLY WARM WINTER WEATHER. WOULD IT BE WRONG TO SAY I LOVE GLOBAL WARMING?]
31) Learn html [or pay someone else to do whatever it is I want done] [ACCOMPLISHED 6/2006 DESIGNED MY OTHER BLOG ALL BY MYSELF, AND REALLY THAT IS ENOUGH FOR ME]
32) Learn how to make a really good pie crust, from scratch [thank God, I have accomplished this one, only once, but still...][ACCOMPLISHED]
33) After I finish nursing my youngest baby, buy some new expensive bras and matching underwear. [I'm getting ready to do this, though shopping for a bra that is the size of a training bra isn't all that exciting] [ACCOMPLISHED VICTORIA'S SECRET IS THAT SHE USES LOTS OF SMOKE AND MIRRORS]
34) Re-invent my mother’s ring since it is missing a few stones [KEEP FORGETTING ABOUT THIS]
35) Buy a plant and keep it alive, instead of treating plants as if they are meant to be disposable
36) Practice saying the word “forty” so that I can learn to not throw up a little while I say it [working on this one, unsuccessfully I might add]
37) Unpack all the boxes in my attic and label properly the things that will stay [or just toss them randomly into the dumpster][I AM PROBABLY MORE THAN HALF WAY DONE WITH THIS. ALTHOUGH WE DID LOSE ALL WINTER GLOVES AND HATS IN AN UNFORTUNATE DECISION ON MY PART TO PUT THEM IN THE BACK OF THE ATTIC IN A BLACK GARBAGE BAG]
38) Organize a box for each child to hold their special childhood crap memorabilia, limit size of said box so that they can never say they don’t have room for it in their own house
39) Keep the flowers alive in my flower boxes on my front porch for an entire summer. This will be accomplished by watering them instead of ignoring them and blaming drought like weather for their demise [well, now that I have gardening clogs, there will be no stopping me][I DID THIS SUMMER 2006, GO ME.]
40) Come to grips with the fact that I am closer to 40 than I want to realize and there is no way I will be able to accomplish all of these things
I have come to the realization that aside from being lazy about following through on my lists, I am also very fickle and I’m not sure I even want to do all these things anymore. [AND REALLY THAT IS OKAY]
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I love your list and the revised addition is even funnier than the first! Good luck and again happy birthday!
May 5th, 2006 at 8:37 amI loved reading the list.
May 5th, 2006 at 9:12 amHappy birthday. My son is celebrating 7 today and I cant believe how fast time is going since I hit the 30 mark.
HA! At least you did the important things, like matting and hanging the photos.
May 5th, 2006 at 9:13 amWhat do you mean, plants aren’t disposble? Of course they are. Well, all mine certainly are! My poor mother, after years of trying, has finaly acknowledged the futility of sending me a potted plant for my birthday, and now sends cut flowers. Which I tend beautifully, because they’re my mind of plant: no long-term commitment, and I don’t even have to TRY to keep them alive!
I like this list idea. Only mine would have to read, “…to do before I turn FIFTY.” Knowing me, it should say “Three things to try to do before I turn eighty. If I remember.”
May 5th, 2006 at 9:17 amHappy birthday!
May 5th, 2006 at 9:39 amI could not even make a list like this, I just know I would find some stupid say,…. a few minutes after I wrote them.
Just curious as to just why you so dislike One Hundred years Of Solitude?
It does sound like you’re making some progress! This is a long list!
May 5th, 2006 at 10:13 amtake it from a knitter - knitting is so easy! Start there and soon you’ll be able to do sit ups and knit at the same time and knock those things off the list and work your way down!
May 5th, 2006 at 10:19 amand oh yeah, happy birthday.
May 5th, 2006 at 10:21 amLOL @ #33… Just finished weaning Pumpkin who is 9 months old… and I’m back down to my “normal” size. Which is an A cup. I have NO bras that fit any more and I’m not looking forward to shopping in the little girls section where 9 year olds have bigger boobs than I do. Ah, oh well.
May 5th, 2006 at 10:47 amI loved this list. But I love your revised edition even more.
I too, shop for my bras in the training bra section of girly underwear. It is hard on the self esteem, but I like to tell myself, at least I won’t be all stooped over with back pain from my bowling ball-sized knockers…
And the plant thing, I work in a green house, you’d think I could manage keeping my flowers alive through the season. Alas, I can’t.
Happy birthday Chris. Enjoy your clogs.
May 5th, 2006 at 11:01 amLove the list. The Narnia one is worthwhile - I’ve read the whole thing to my 6 yr old - couple of them twice. My 4 yr old might’ve tolerated it if we’d had a set w/more illustrations.
40 aint’ so bad. I’m facing 41 and I wish I looked as good after 3 as you do after 7. Happy day!
May 5th, 2006 at 11:55 amHappy Birthday. You know, if you keep holding on to that babysitter idea.. in a few short years, you can force your older children to watch the younger ones. Great list.
May 5th, 2006 at 2:38 pmPlease don’t try to rid the earth of low rise pants. Us individuals with rib cages that sit atop our hip bones feel they are a life saver. Otherwise, the waist line of our pants meets our bra strap (which in my case is a 32A after breastfeeding five kids).
May 5th, 2006 at 4:37 pm40 is just like 30, only with hot flashes and added wisdom! Plus lots of kids keeps you thinking young.
May 5th, 2006 at 5:39 pma.k.a. onetallmomma 45 years young
42 this month sob sob.
May 5th, 2006 at 7:07 pmI have got to make one of those lists, lol, I guess I should put that at #1 *rotfl*
Leslie,
I only want to rid the world of the pants that are so low waisted they require a brazilian to wear them
May 5th, 2006 at 8:32 pmI love the list!
I need to do the vitamin thing too - God knows I dont get them from food.
The water thing made me laugh really hard. Have you tried the flavored water???
May 5th, 2006 at 8:41 pmI love the one about the indoor playgym. I hate to be a germie, but eww, those places can get nasty!
May 5th, 2006 at 10:56 pmGo ahead and do the christmas ornament thing. I had a friend who did that with her kids, and you are right, they don’t want them, but I sold them on e-bay for her and got a pretty penny!
May 6th, 2006 at 12:04 amI’m so lazy, I’m just gonna copy practically this whole list. Of course, I only have the next few months to cross everything off. Hmmm.
May 6th, 2006 at 2:53 amWell, you may be fickle but at least you came up with a list! I can’t even figure out what it is that I want to achieve.
May 6th, 2006 at 3:04 amOh, thank goodness I’m a year past 40… all that sort of pressure is off (they don’t make use do lists of 50 things before 50… all we gotta do is a) try to bring on menopause and b) try to remember to try to bring on menopause.
It’s going to be difficult, but I think I’m up for the challenge.
Hi, I’m new to your blog. Nice to meet you.
May 6th, 2006 at 11:48 pmLongtime reader..first time commenter! Love your blog and just had to TOTALLY agree w/you on #33. Where the heck do those huge melons go to? 2 words for you… water bra! Padding and push up all in one! Happy Birthday!
May 7th, 2006 at 12:44 amI like this. I just did a “what I want for #30″ - but it’s highly unlikely most will actually happen, however, you never, know - someone might send me a Michael Vartan real doll
May 7th, 2006 at 9:14 amWhat our family did for #9 was to go to the high school productions. They aren’t as costly or as long as a Broadway play. Most of the larger high schools offer two plays a yr and one is usually a musical. Also check out the private and church schools. We also have a great children’s theatre group.
May 7th, 2006 at 1:56 pmGood luck with your goals.
Lotsa times the Broadway thingies come to Boston first. Don’t know how long a drive that is for you, but might be worth checking out.
May 8th, 2006 at 12:38 pmLove your list…
May 8th, 2006 at 10:16 pmActually I do the ornament thing and I love it. My thoughts were that they would to but I know they will put them on the tree when I visit and then put them back in the box as I go!
You have got the energy to do all things on your list… mothers of millions of kids normally do…
re: #32 32) Learn how to make a really good pie crust, from scratch
I have what my friend calls the Idiot Recipe for Pie Crust. In no way, I am calling you an idiot, it’s just what she calls the recipe.
I will be glad to share it with you. I’ll post it to my blog….and you can go find it and share it with the world!!
Suzanne
May 11th, 2006 at 10:45 amhttp://suzannebalvanz.blogspot.com/
#27 is making me pee my pants laughing. Because I drank 8 glasses of (untasty) water and my bladder is failing, that’s why!
I’m also looking for my father I’ve never met. Weird. It would be nice if it was same dude and we could kill two birds with one stone! Wait, that would be one bird with two stones, wouldn’t it… Good luck.
June 14th, 2006 at 7:15 pm#27 is also my bane, especially since I’m pregnant and thirsty all the time. I hate water. I really do.
June 16th, 2006 at 5:01 pmGot to your site via Danielle’s. Had to comment:
14. photos - be sure to put on the back the who, what, where stuff and maybe a comment or two. It’s easy to forget over time, and WAAAAAY down the road, the next generation will be most grateful!
19. Ornaments - we’ve done that every year for our four; quite the collection now that they’re 22, 20, 18 and 16. Stick with it - it makes decorating the tree great fun when they’re home (I just love talking story), and a lovely thing to send with them when they go off on their own. (sigh) And, no they don’t think it’s weird… they love it!
Every. Single. Year.
Best of luck on the rest. I can teach you #1 if you’re so inclined and in the area (seriously!).
July 14th, 2006 at 12:54 pmOkay, so I can totally relate to #17 on your list
I go crazy over germs too! I know it is important to expose our children to “germs”, as that is how they build their immunity levels, but there is a limit and indoor playgrounds would be it!
July 30th, 2006 at 8:02 pmRead my latest post on my blog called the Bum Picker to make yourself feel validated for being so germ conscious!
Amanda
I just turned 40 and haven’t done any of those things. I think I need to make a list for things to do before I turn 50″!
August 2nd, 2006 at 11:22 amDefinately do the Christmas ornaments for the kids! I had this done for me by my mother and it was a God send for my first Christmas away from home!
August 4th, 2006 at 8:56 pmI now have kept the tradition alive (sort of?) and give all of my friend’s and family’s children ornaments. If/when I do have my own children I will do it for them also.
My MIL started the tradition in our family and I have kept it up thru 2 divorces and 7 grandchildren and a step-daughter who despises me (she’s upset that Dad remarried - she’s 35) and her children. If nothing else - hopwfully, someday someone will look at one of those things and think - Hey, here is something from my childhood that didn’t get broken, lost, and proves that my childhood really did happen
(and no one can say I ignored or treated her children any different than my daughter’s children!) I guess I’m kinda defensive about that.
August 17th, 2006 at 9:16 pmI just tried to email you the message below (using your contact me link) and it came back as your email addie not known:
Just wanted you to know that I found your blog today and think it is great. 7 children……..you brave brave woman……….i thought I was a nut to have two, then wait 10 years and have another one (ok, he was not exactly scheduled)
I am an American living in the UK- well, no actually the truth is I am an American being held hostage in the UK……….divorce is such a great thing.
I am thinking about starting my own blog but a) don’t know how to do it and b) worry that I am not humourous enough compared to the ones I have seen. (too much education and not into socialising alot)
Thanks for lifting my day!
Regards
October 7th, 2006 at 12:48 pmView my ‘Forty Things to do before 40 at http://www.before40.co.uk
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:36 pmOK - now i just found THIS post! Seven? I have three and feel overwhelmed. You are brilliant. I will be forty in a year and a half…
For the record, i met my own father a few years ago and, even knowing he is - at best -a selfish and horrid narcissist… I was STILL disappointed.
January 5th, 2007 at 3:44 pmTry the knifty knitter (loom) to accomplish #1, I can’t knit anything with needles but I managed to put together 3 scarves and a hat since Christmas.
January 8th, 2007 at 12:22 pmThere are ways to get decent priced Broadway tickets. If you are interested in a show that’s been out for a while, go to the box office for tickets for a Wednesday matinee or Tuesday night in the winter. There were times I’ve gotten in to see Les Mis, Beauty and the Beast and 42nd Street for only $20 a ticket.
Another option– you have 7 kids– ask for a school discount. . .
January 10th, 2007 at 7:27 pmGreat list. I love coming to this site, although I am new to it- you can always make me smile no matter how bad my day is.
Love Karen
January 15th, 2007 at 8:57 pmhttp://www.carepages.com
Page name = Karenmelissa
[...] Read the rest of the list. [...]
January 29th, 2007 at 11:46 pmI’m 34 and just married. My mother got each of us kids an ornament every year while we were growing up. I treasure my ornaments. She finaly let me have mine since I got married in September.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:54 pmI have bought a family ornament every year since my husband and I got married 21 years ago. My children both have plenty of first Christmas ornaments and I buy them ornaments occasionally that remind me of them. I am also known in our family as the ornament Aunt because I have bought each of my 20 some nieces and nephews first Christmas ornaments when they were born. I hear from them around Christmas about every year when they are decorating the tree and call to tell me they found their Aunt Katy ornament.
February 21st, 2007 at 10:27 pmI will be 50 in June this year and am really excited about it. 40 was pretty good too, to tell the truth I have never really felt any older since I was in my mid to late twenties. Just take a hold of life and enjoy every minute like it may be your last, don’t waste a second of it.
March 4th, 2007 at 10:27 amThank you for the laughs! It’s my 40th birthday today, and I realized that I didn’t have a list, and am totally unprepared for it - my only hope is to start working on the 50 things before I turn 50. Carolynn has the right idea -
March 6th, 2007 at 8:02 pmHey… you want to drink more water??? I hate the taste of water. Always have. I have been an avid water drinker for the past year or more. (Maybe it is closer to 2 years). Well all I know is that if I go too long without it then I get the worst cramps in my calves. ANYWAYS… Don’t know if you are in support of bottled water (some people are some aren’t) or you can always put the water in a glass… but the Crystal Light individual sized flavors are a life saver. Not only do they have some good flavors they just recently came out with a packet that has caffeine in it and one that helps boost immunity. So get to drinking that water… and the immunity one might constitute as taking the vitamins??? So you can knock two things off your list at once.
Good luck.
April 9th, 2007 at 9:36 amCK
I really enjoy reading your blog. I came accross it when i was doing research for my ‘things to do before you’re 30 webiste.’ I’m doing a list of 5 things every month and after looking at your blog, realise i’ve got a long way to go!
May 9th, 2007 at 9:35 amI don’t know how you find time with seven children - I take my hat off to you!
Just want to let you know there is life after raising 7 children….I know first hand! My 7 have grown up, and they have provided me with wonderful grandchildren to enjoy. Hang in there!
May 15th, 2007 at 10:30 amCool.
May 17th, 2007 at 10:35 amNice…
May 21st, 2007 at 1:04 pmChris,
If you don’t mind, I’m going to work with you on #20. Didn’t like them the FIRST time around (1974-6) I CERTAINLY don’t want them around now, after 4 kids and a love of Hagen-Daaz bars (milk chocolate with almonds) has kicked in.
So, do what you need to…I got your back!
May 21st, 2007 at 2:02 pmI love the list idea. I have things I complain about but have never made the leap to chart.
The daily vitamin, drinking 8 glasses, exercise etc. Might be assisted with this:
http://thereisnobox.wordpress.com/mundane-lifefocus-card-system/
Something more to do but still handy little cards to help in getting the mundane done.
If you really want to to these things by the time you’re 40 though, you will.
Good Luck!
June 5th, 2007 at 11:11 pmThink this is hilarious - I recognize many of your “to do” items as my own. Read an article in Good Housekeeping on taking out the trash and thought it was so funny and familiar that I had to search out your blog. Really pleased I did.
June 8th, 2007 at 3:51 aminteresting
June 10th, 2007 at 9:48 pm40 Before 40 is such a great idea! Do you mine if I steal/borrow it? I mean, my aspirations are different, or course. Mine involve a lot of traveling. I have that book “1,000 Places to See Before You Die” and I highlighted the crap out of it. Every time I get bummed, I plan a new trip.
Great list!
June 11th, 2007 at 6:55 pmCool.
June 12th, 2007 at 8:24 amI had planned to watch a movie and finish looming my toe up sock this afternoon (7 year old GS just went home after a 3 day visit and his mouth and body never stopped once so I am in need of RR!).
First I had to read my mail … checked out Denise’s wonderful Swing Jacket pattern, read her blog and stumbled onto yours!
I have had such a lovely time reading it and I then doubled my fun by reading everyone’s comments! Aren’t women wonderful!
June 16th, 2007 at 6:50 pmWhat I forgot to mention is, I didn’t have time to go through all Denise’s “Blogs I Read” list, so picked this one so I could read about how to make helmet liners!
June 16th, 2007 at 6:54 pm[...] I utterly missed the opportunity to write 40 things to do by the time I turn 40 as Chris Jordan did, should I get to work on a list of 50? Or regress back to the 15-year-old who [...]
October 6th, 2007 at 1:58 am