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Open Letter to the Saleswomen Working at JJill

Open Letter to the Saleswomen Working at JJill

June 12, 2006

Hi. Remember me? I’m sure that you do. In fact I’d be willing to bet that you haven’t stopped talking about me since I left.

This morning I went into your store to return a shirt I bought that had the hem ripped out of the bottom. You weren’t as nice or apologetic as I felt you should be since I am the one who bought a defective shirt and had to come all the way back to the store to return it. But, whatever. I was willing to overlook that as I browsed through the store to see if I might like to exchange it for something else.

I browsed around, a little perplexed by the sheer volume of elastic waist clothing. Um, yuck. Are you a clothing store for old people and I just didn’t know it?

So I walked through the store and found a different shirt. I was still looking when my husband popped into the store to see if I was done yet. He is frightened if I am in the store for too long.

You had to stop what you were doing and count my children out loud. I’m used to that. I don’t understand it, but I am used to it. I’m willing to humor you and laugh when you do that, and correct you when you count incorrectly. Because seven is such huge number it is hard to count that high.

What I am not used to, nor will I ever make excuses for is blatant rude behavior to my children. When you stepped in front of my eldest son and said, “Can I help you, boys?” while blocking their way into the store, you crossed a line.

When you stared at them, with a look of horror on you face, which is how my 11 yr old described your expression by the way, you crossed a line. Then you looked down your nose at me as if I was a leper that you couldn’t wait to leave your store. Who do you think you are?

I know the stereotypes about women who have lots of children. I have heard more than my fair share of rude and obnoxious comments ranging from, “Do they all have the same father?” to “Are you on welfare?” Both of which I won’t even justify with a response. And the not so sublte glances to my ring finger to check out my wedding rings. And for the record, yes, they are real. Are yours? Because they looked fake to me. But shhhhh, I won’t tell.

Giving birth seven times may have weakened my stomach muscles, and my bladder control has never been the same, but surprisingly my hearing is intact. That was why I turned to you and said, “Hi. I can hear you, you know.”

Then you said to me, “What did you do pop one out every year?” and “I’d kill myself.” Well you pissed me off, frankly.

Afterall, you are the one working in the store. Not me. You are there to wait on me. Not the other way around. I’m not sure that you could afford to shop in the store with what you must be making an hour, so your behavior confuses me. There is nothing I hate more than stuck up sales people. You work in a clothing store. Despite what you may think, that is just a tiny side step from being a cashier at Wal-mart.

And that is why I took a perverse amount of pleasure in saying, “It’s too bad that nothing in this store comes in my size. It’s all so…. big.”

chris

Posted by Chris @ 2:30 pm  

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Comments

  1. "D" says:

    oh, I’m sorry… you HAVE to write/call the management. That was inexcusable and she should be at LEAST reprimanded. Seriously… now I’m all pissed off too.

  2. Susan says:

    You are a far better woman than I.

    Please, please tell me that you are going to send this to the every level of management, up to and including the CEO of that company, and that the letter will include her name.

    That is beyond rude.

  3. Code Yellow Mom says:

    I’m the oldest of seven and “clever” people on more than one occasion asked my mom, when they found out she was expecting (again! Gasp!), or right after a baby was born, “Don’t you know what causes that?!” She started telling them that she thought it was Weight Watchers. :)
    I continue to be amazed at how insolent and assuming people can be about children, before the children even have a chance to misbehave. And what business is it of theirs how many and how often you give birth?!

    Your letter is a hoot, though, and I feel for you and your kids - I’ve been both the kid and the parent in that kind of thing now. (Payless Shoe Source lady, I still want to kick your shins!)

    You’re response was awesome!

  4. txmommy says:

    when I shop with all my kids I want sympathy not stares:) Sorry for your bad shopping experience.

  5. Bethany says:

    Ouch! she said THAT? Aloud?

    My. Oh my.

  6. kfk says:

    Cha-ching!

  7. Xenia Kathryn says:

    someone I know responds, “Is this the best customer service you give?” each time a sales person is rude.

    I’m young and I just have one baby, but my husband and I are open to having a big family (which is why I enjoy reading your blog). And having worked in sales, I think I’d kill myself working at J.Jill… gimme the 7 kids any day!

    I hope you send a letter and I hope this woman is fired! ack, barf on her.

  8. michele says:

    I’m sure you’ve been asked this before. But how do you do it? Really? How? I have 2 boys, 2 years apart. They’re 6 & 4 now. I honestly think I’m going crazy more times than not. Then I see a family like yours, with many more children than mine, and you seem well adjusted - and at least semi-in control. Have you ever done a “day in the life” entry? Could you direct me to it? I wasn’t speaking figuratively - I really do want tips. I am a huge fan of your blog. Thanks for your entry today (even though I want to slap someone for you.)

  9. Jordana says:

    Bwahahahaha!

    What a rude lady, but you, my dear, are brilliant. Proving that once in a while one of us doesn’t lose all our brain cells while having children.

    Unfortunately, I didn’t win that lottery.

  10. Amy says:

    Love your blog!! You are not only a clever blogger and a great mom, you have the ability to keep your cool in a horrid situation AND come up with a humorous way to drive your point home.
    I really hope you do send the letter to the store and to management. I hope she gets fired… I can’t believe people like her actually exist and think it’s ok to be that rude. Obviously she didn’t have a mother like you.

  11. The Green Family says:

    I can’t believe she said that!
    I am so glad you took her down a few notches!

  12. KEP says:

    I do a part-time assistant manager gig at a retail establishment, and I would be on the phone to my DM trying to get that girl fired immediately. Even if you’re rude enough to think those things, you DO NOT say them to the customer. Ever.

    Good for you for coming up with something snappy to say.

  13. Libragirl (libragirl316@gmail.com) says:

    You so need to report her. Write, call, boycott the store…actually, keep sending your kids in when she is there…have them bring a bunch of stuff to the counter and leave it there.

  14. Libragirl (libragirl316@gmail.com) says:

    Oh, but first, ask if she works on commision..cause..she just lost it.

  15. Dawn says:

    That is too bad that happenned to you. I am able to deal with rudeness until it turns on my children. That is just not acceptable.

  16. Laurie says:

    I can’t believe she actually said that to you and your family. I agree with the others, your story ought to be forwarded to upper management. That’s completely appalling.

  17. maybaby says:

    Oh, for the love of Pete.

    You need to report this person. I would have decked her, I think.

    When I see a large family, I assume that the parents love kids and wanted a bigger family. Period. Oh, and also, that the size of a family other than my own is none of my business.

    Sheesh.

  18. Melissa says:

    Chris, I love this. And I am happy that I am not the only one who thinks things like, hello you work in a store in the mall, when they are rude to me. A teenager is one thing, but a grown woman. I can’t believe they count your kids outloud. People are so rude.

  19. Ashley says:

    Please, please send J.Jill a letter with an account of your experience. At worst you will get a letter of apology. At best, a gift certificate for your trouble.

    And why is it that J. Jill shirts always lose their elastic? I have sent more then a few things back. I need to give them up. Now, more then ever.

  20. Closs says:

    boy oh boy been there done that! What I love is when they ask do they all have the same Father?

    Or my personal fave…”how many kids do you have?” And I respond “5″ and they say…”no really…how many?” Yeah I just say 5 for shit and giggles..LoL !

  21. honestyrain says:

    seriously? SERIOUSLY? wow. you need to contact the very tippy top highest person in the company over this one. you should get free clothing for a year over that. man!

  22. Lilorfnannie says:

    I moved to CT from the west coast several years before. I found a vast difference in the interpretation of the term “customer service” here, with few exceptions. I’m not the only transplant here to have noticed this by a long shot. Sorry but I’m really not surprised at that clerk’s behavior at all.

  23. Lilorfnannie says:

    ….I meant to add, it doesn’t make her behavior any more acceptable. It was terrible. Poor little twit, she doesn’t even realize what a little cretin she is.

  24. Stephanie in TX says:

    The correct answer to “I’d kill myself” is this. Reach out, pat her on the arm sympathetically. And in a voice oozing concern, say: “Oh, honey, don’t let not having kids stand in your way!”

  25. Greg says:

    Nice play… not to repeat what has been previously posted, but people like that are dumb. You keep fighting the powers at J.Jill.

  26. thatgirl says:

    First of all, I love JJill. At least I love what I see in the catalog. I’ve never been in a store. I’m sad that they have this kind of representation. (And yes, it is for older women, but, it seems, hip older women who have good style.)

    Second of all, you were way too nice to this woman. Had I been in your shoes, though, I probably would have been too flabbergasted to say what she truly deserved.

    So do what everyone else is suggesting: contact the corporate powers that be and get this bitch fired. Actually, firing probably won’t affect her. She’d just blame you. She needs some mandatory customer service or sensitivity training and a demotion or a drop in pay.

  27. Anonymous says:

    I love J. Jill, too, probably in part because the store near me has great customer service and will take returns of items I’ve ordered on sale online as if OF COURSE they’ll take it back, is there anything else they can do to make my day easier! And I think that makes it even MORE imperative to send this posting in its entirety to store management (and higher if you can track it down). This is better than a letter as it shows them how well-dispersed your discontent has been!

    In fact, I won’t even buy anything from J. Jill today to support your cause. Well, I wasn’t going to anyway, but now I’m calling it a boycott.

    Elizabeth

  28. geminshadow79 says:

    I can’t believe some people!!! I was shocked. Why do people think they have to poke their noses where they don’t belong! I know many people with large families as well…..so maybe I’m immune to the sight of so many children, but I just don’t understand why people feel they have to comment on big families, to the mother no less. I dunno….

    I agree with everyone else, you should right a letter to the head of the company…and if I had a J.Jill where I lived I’d so boycott it!

  29. appleseed says:

    I have long bemaoned the decline of customer service! At least the incident with the Old Navy shopping bag was funny… this is just sad!

  30. Cheerio's on my butt? says:

    okay now I’m mad! I HATE when people do that to me! So! I have started collecting machine guns and I was just wondering if you wanted to borrow one? They shut people up quick! Literally!
    No for real, I’m sorry that you gotta deal with that. I feel for you. Good comeback. I think that it would be nice to have some t-shirts made with some big family pride written on there for us and the kids to wear. saying something like, big families are better at having fun! or whatever. you’re better at doing t-shirts anyways. oh well. I think you rock.

  31. European says:

    I sure hope you called the manager or something. That’s UNBELIEVABLE. Now excuse me while I go collect my jaw up off the floor. *shakes head*

  32. Anonymous says:

    I have been reading your archives because I don’t have a good novel to read, and I guess as a blog-reader I’m just nosy that way. I notice SO many mentions of how rudely people treat you when they see you with all of the kids that I am embarassed on behalf of those of us with fewer than 4 kids. Geez, people! So now I have a question for when I see someone out with lots of kids. Is it okay to say something approving, like “wow, you are so lucky,” to just look and smile, or to avert my eyes and pretend not to notice at all?

  33. Amyfan6967 says:

    Please please please send a written complaint to the management.
    You would be surprised what addresses you can find on the net.

    I have sent many complaints as well as complimentary letters.
    Glad to say I have seen results, at least one firing as well as calls from management thanking me for the compliments and nifty envelopes that arrived at my door with gift cards inside. Bennigan’s changed their menu recently and my group had extremely rude and disrespectful service. Okay, so it was my quilt group - 8 little old ladies are not the type to like bad service - we each received $50 gift cards to either revisit or visit another restaurant in the chain. Management called each of us to personally apologize, and then followed up again a few weeks later to inquire how further visits had been. The squeaky wheel does get noticed!

  34. Bluepaintred says:

    ummm so how is it you arent in jail for her murder? or at the very least her assult? cus umm… thasty where i would be.. you have seven kids because you love kids … pretty simple. I happen to admire you

  35. J says:

    Love J.Jill…Love you More..Thanks goodness u8 keep me sane…

  36. Mocha says:

    Out loud? She counted OUT LOUD? Do you ever slap people in public or can I offer my services to you? My resume is filled with “south side” “Chicago girl” and “teacher” so I can tussle with the best of them.

    I got your back. It’s all good.

  37. Ashley says:

    I’m so glad I’m not alone. I get those comments all the time. When I was pregnant with my last a woman counted out loud them whispered to her daughter “look there’s 5 and she’s pregnant…again.” Then this weekend while heading to a bike rodeo I chirped in to the softball coach they were giving out free bike helmets and he asked me if they were handing out food stamps too. I just can’t believe the audacity of people!!

  38. Anonymous says:

    Chris, some people just don’t get it! This lady reminds me of the women working at the Clinique or Lancome counter, who act like their **** don’t stink! I just laugh to myself over these ladies and think the EXACT SAME THING - you HAVE to work, I don’t! I guess it’s just their warped view of what is desired and what’s not. At least I don’t have to get dressed up to shop at the mall, I can go in my denim jumper, or better yet in my Hero, “Comfortable Woman”, clothes, no make up and laugh at them.

    It’s hard to be humble when you are right, though. I have a friend who has 11 children, wonderfully behaved kids, as are most HS kids. I couldn’t imagine ANY lady in their faces, blocking the way into a store. I’d be so incredibly upset…I hope an apology in the form of a $500 gift certificate is on its way to you very soon!

  39. Fold My Laundry Please says:

    I have to agree with what the majority of those commenting here suggest. Please, please, please contact the store manager and the district manager and report this person! I was a store manager at a nationwide, blue and yellow, video rental location and I know for a fact that contacting those two people will get you quick results, but you have to contact both of them. Letting the store manager know that you are contacting the district manager will help loads in getting the ball rolling. Unfortunately, I also know that the woman will probably not get fired unless this is not her first customer complaint. It will most likely result in her getting counseled by her store manager on customer service tactics and a write-up in the company records. However, if you do nothing, she will feel free to treat other people like this with no consequences for her actions. I am a firm believer that people should be held accountable!

    I would also like to request that when you get great service, please let the store manager know about that, too. Working with the general public, you start to feel VERY unappreciated because you get treated badly by the vast majority of those you come into contact with. Finding out that you actually helped someone and made their day better provides you with the motivation to push through the nasty attitudes and try to provide better customer service.

    And now I’ll step off of my soapbox and let you get back to what’s really important…reporting that uninformed wench!

  40. The(un)PerfectMother says:

    The nerve of some people…..

    This really makes me angry. Why is it “OK” to have one, two, or three children, but after that, it seems to be a “bad” thing?

  41. tammie says:

    Chris: I would contact someone high on the management chain (ie, headquarters) about this. NO ONE deserves this sort of treatment, ever. I’m sorry that you and your family were subjected to it, bravo to you for keeping you cool (well, as best as you could). Fight the man on this one, girl!

  42. Anonymous says:

    Well, I am so glad that you are so sassy. You shouldn’t have to take crap from someone who is PAID to perform a service.

    I’ve just been exploring the world of blogger and I really enjoyed this post.

    KM(spaces.msn.com/littlerockbarnyard)

    PS: aren’t you glad you don’t work at JJill?

  43. Jennifer says:

    I feel bad for your son. That has got to suck, getting treated like that by a saleswoman in a clothing store.

    It seems like every time you go shopping, you meet one of these people! You must live in a snotty area.

  44. Maddy says:

    I am sure that being a *cashier at Wal-mart* is a great job and I am sure the hard working women at Wal-mart (who may also read internet blogs) don’t feel lower than any other person in the work force.

    Bad customer service in any situation is unpleasant and to be rude to anyone is unacceptable. Definitely send a letter to the manager pointing out that their *customer service* person gives very *bad customer service* and tell them just how rude she was to you and your family. You never know there might even be some kind of compensation for your bad experience.

  45. Wendy says:

    I have to say that I normally love J Jill, but I just may not ever shop their again. That is just beyond rude.

  46. meredith says:

    Oh man, I am sorry, that sucks. I really wish I could erase out the stupid people like that, and just leave the nice ones in the big picture of life.

  47. peepnroosmom says:

    You should definitely contact the management. How rude!
    I have 2 boys of my own, but I’m keeping my 2 nieces for the summer. On our first trip to the mall,TWO people commented on how many kids I had! One was nice, but the other one said I glad I’m not you. Oh My Gosh!
    People can really be rude sometimes.

  48. TheLittleCanuck says:

    Having only one, I think now my reaction seeing you handle 7 would be more along the lines of “I’m not worthy!”

    I thought I was the only one to consistently get these awful salespeople (I think the husband thinks it’s me, too), so it’s good to hear I’m not alone. I support contacting management about it, but from experience, sadly, it doesn’t always work, even with the worst psychos. All you can do is try and cross your fingers.

  49. Chris says:

    To clarify, I wasn’t trying to insult people working at Wal-mart. My point was that working in a retail store is working in a retail store. Why should they feel so snobby?

    I don’t mine people commenting to me about my kids. The counting out loud makes me laugh because EVERYONE seems to do it. That’s fine, it isn’t intended to be rude.

    But the thing is that people don’t know when to shut their mouths. Asking what kind of car I drive, or how much milk we drink or something like that is fine with me. Making conversation like a polite human being, is okay.

    ASking if we are on welfare, or better yet saying out loud, “That’s where my tax dollars are going” is NOT okay. Nor is telling me to keep my legs closed or bring a gun to bed.

    And yes, that happens.

  50. Meg says:

    Awesome, girl. You kick some ass through snark, which I seriously appreciate.

  51. Heather says:

    You did some major ass kicking girl! As I was reading, I was hoping that you were going to say you told her to go #$%@! herself! But, I know, you are a better person than that. ;)

    And how freakin true is this?-”You work in a clothing store. Despite what you may think, that is just a tiny side step from being a cashier at Wal-mart.” I am going to keep this mentality the next time I encounter rude, stuck up sales creatures. LOL…

  52. speckledpup says:

    please, oh please forward your letter to the management….please, pretty please with sugar on it..and a cherry.

  53. SB says:

    you freakin’ ROCK, woman!
    Howmany times I have wanted to choke retail folk for this very thing. I have three handicapped kids and I have bionic hearing, so I get to hear some really foul things about my kids and me.

    You simply must forward your blog to the JJill Customer service e-mail. I had a similar experience at a Home Depot after someone called my mentally retarded son a “menace to society” and a “genetic F-up”. Home Depot fell all over themselves giving me gift cards. I took them, spent them, got the employee fired and felt much better.

    HOOAH to you for being so cool!

  54. Anonymous says:

    I agree that this woman was completely rude and ignorant. However, I don’t believe that everyone should boycott J.Jill unless Chris contacts the management and gets no satisfaction. As the old saying goes, two wrongs don’t make a right. Every company, no matter what it is, has a crappy employee. Such is life.

  55. cassie-b says:

    Unbelievable. and for the second time today I’m asking, what ever happened to “the customer is always right”?

  56. stacey says:

    stupid people are everywhere and most are rude too. You go girl! I just don’t get where they think that we can’t hear and know what they think. Customer service needs a kick in the shorts anymore. You rock!

  57. Julie says:

    Did you hear the sound of my jaw hitting the floor since I am in awe of her rudeness? Good comeback, too.

    I LOVE your “don’t mess with Chris” posts.

  58. Gretchen says:

    O.M.G. you really do get the worst comments! There’s not much I can add to the above comments, because I agree with most of them. Those people are paid to help you shop, as they can’t get paid if they don’t sell anything. They have no right to make assumptions about the people who shop there. I can’t believe she tried to keep your sons out of the store.

    If you can get an address, go for it and complain. It will at least make you feel good, even if it doesn’t get her fired.

  59. InterstellarLass says:

    Wow. Some people just have a higher level of stupidity than others. Who the hell does she think she is? Retail Store Clerk. That’s all you had to say.

  60. Kristin says:

    Oh my Lord… the NERVE of some people! “I would kill myself”! In front of your kids?! What a creep.

    Great response by the way… I think I hate J.Jill now and your right… way too many elastic waistbands.

  61. MommyHAM says:

    A friend of mine just referred me to your blog - specifically the screwing/context post - last night. I hope that you take SERIOUS pleasure in knowing that there is more wit and class in your pinkies (they’re very smart, after all, to help you type these masterpieces!) than she has in her whole brain & wardrobe!

    Re: kids and family size - to each her own, questions included! I have two very wild younguns, and cannot handle it a lot of days - thus, am DONE for OUR family. But heck, it’s awfully ignorant and downright arrogant for one to assume that she is the norm/mold for others to base their families on, right? I admire you and other women who do what’s best for them and their families - as well as those who can rant in an intelligent and cutting manner!

  62. Anonymous says:

    I am SO so very sorry, Chris. I would have completely lost it. My oldest thinks I am rude for standing up to idiots, but I just cannot comprehend the coldhearted bitches.

    I cannot even believe AFTER reading this entry that a reader would say: “but really, HOW do you do it.” as you share daily your humor, and all that you do DO on a daily basis. WTH do people want from bloggers? If one is overwhelmed by one or two children, then THINK about how one with more than that MUST do it. One second at a time and with patience (often lost) and a partnership, hopefully - with a mate with a sense of humor and a real desire to raise good and healthy children - DUH!

    People get some manners and tact.

    Chris - keep up the good fight, I think of you and Carmen (and my sister’s) on a daily basis, as I read you every day and so relate to what you share and must deal with. I truly so often want to enter a cave and never come out. Another reason to raise kids, and many — is to KNOW you’re surrounded by decent, caring individuals who aren’t going to treat you like the idiots do *out there*

    HUG from Elizabeth

  63. Guinness_Girl says:

    oh my god. I’ll echo the chorus of folks wanting you to send this to the management. that’s uncalled for.

  64. The Daring One says:

    Send it in to her permenant file, dude. My mom used to get that stuff all the time with 5 kids and I remember being angry about it as a young child. I’m so much angrier now.

  65. Emily says:

    what a jerk. yeah i vote call her manager. i don’t understand ppl. who judge mothers (or even more funny, the kids) for being part of a big family. it’s a personal choice, how many kids you decide to have!

  66. Darren says:

    No, she didn’t really say that to you. Did she? No, she didn’t…

    And you are going to write a letter to the company, right?

  67. Anonymous says:

    As someone who wanted six kids but only managed to birth two, I envy those women who have large families. This salesclerk has obviously never suffered the loss of a child. When you want something so badly that you ache with ever fiber of your being, you don’t think people are “cursed” to have children. You know they are blessed.

  68. Silly Old Bear says:

    No way would I have just written a letter. This woman deserves so much more…

    Grrr.

  69. Trena says:

    You rock! I only wish that I could be so able to actually say what I want to salespeople that are rude. Usually, I’m just so floored in my head thinking “um…hi? You’re working retail and probably making just above minimum wage and you have the nerve to make me, the consumer (um yeah…the person that in theory pays your wages) feel crappy about shopping in your store?” that the words just won’t come out and I end up leaving and feeling dumb. If more people would actually call out bad customer service, maybe it would somehow improve!!!

  70. chel says:

    well said chris!!! I’m she was such a beast but even in times like these, you always make me laugh.

  71. Danielle says:

    I am always amazed at how rude people can be. At least your children had you as a good role model in this situation. You stood up for yourself but do not go ape shit on her. Good Job.

  72. ktcakes says:

    Argh! what in the hell?!
    That’s why I shop online…no real people. Sucks you had to make a return, though. I’m no good at remembering to send that stuff back.

  73. Jen3 says:

    That lady sounds more obnoxious than the one at Old Navy. They’re everywhere … huh?

    I get comments like that ALL the time. “OH GOD look at you, you poor, poor thing! I’d hang myself if I found out I was having triplets!” I take it in stride. My DH doesn’t. He’ll call them on it and say “What do you mean? These children are the greatest blessing we’ve ever received! You’re either jealous or a moron.” Cracks me up - everytime. Honestly - every time we go out it happens. EVERY TIME. But, then there are also those people that come over and gush about how fortunate we are. I know it … sounds like you do, too. Poop on the rest of ‘em. (or just carry around a small bag of stones from your wall and hit them in the head.)

    BTW - your blog looks good, very pink!

  74. db says:

    whats wrong with being a cashier in wall mart.
    who’s the snop here?

  75. db says:

    opps i mean snob!

  76. Julie says:

    I already commented on this…
    Not sure of the new layout .I hate change!

  77. Meagan says:

    WOW! Long time reader, first time poster. Love the new look!

  78. Library Mama says:

    Powerful stuff!

    How these people with no people skills get jobs in customer service is beyond me. You handled the situation admirably.

    Love your blog.

  79. Chris says:

    db,
    me, I’m the snob. That’s who.

  80. Suebob says:

    Anonymous, I think the commenter who asked “How do you do it?” was saying it in an admiring way, not to put Chris down. Because it is amazing!

    My niece is 28 and has 5 wonderful kids. She is the best mom AND yes they all have the same dad and NO they are not on welfare AND yes she does indeed know what birth control is. She is also in nursing school and getting straight As. And she has an aunt who is exceedingly proud of her and who will clock anyone who dares to criticize her.

  81. Jamie says:

    I’m sorry someone was so RUDE and HORRID to you and your children. I only have one son - on purpose - and people say the most awful things to us and to HIM about the fact that he’s an only child. I guess there’s just no pleasing some people - nor should we even try to please such people. Kudos to you on handling it with style.

  82. Jenny says:

    People never cease to amaze me. May she never be “cursed” with having a wonderful, big family.

    PS. I think you’re amazing.

  83. Christine says:

    This totally made me think of that scene in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts goes back to the store where the sales lady was so mean to her and tells her “big mistake.” That rocks. You need to speak up for yourself so these people know this behaviour will not be tolerated.

    I have five kids and I get a lot of these comments to. It amazes me that people have the balls to ask “Do they have the same father?” How is that anybody else’s business? And I hear “I’m glad it’s you and not me. To which I respond, “Me too.” People can just be so darn rude.

  84. javamama says:

    Maddy, I agree with you. Perhaps having a mom who is a cashier at Wal-Mart makes me a little sensitive. She’s not lower than anyone, she’s not less than anyone - she’s just a person who works at Wal-Mart. Another mom out there trying to make a living, that’s all. Or it could be that I’m a sociologist who does a lot of work in social stratification and pot-shots at the poor rub me wrong. Anyhoo…

    But I agree that THIS person was totally out of line (and I’m sorry to say, one in a long line of Idiots, it seems. A mom of seven deserves kudos, not kicks!) and I hope you do report it and get some satisfaction.

    Keep on keepin’ on. May your kids always remember the love you are shining on them, and none of the numbskulls who speak before thinking.

  85. Lorraine says:

    My best friend is pregnant with her 4th child and still calls to VOLUNTEER to take my baby (who’s 3 years old, but my husband and I are not about to become outnumbered) to the zoo. Katy and Chris, we love you and are inspired by both of you beyond belief.

  86. Walmartchick says:

    ”Afterall, you are the one working in the store. Not me. You are there to wait on me. Not the other way around. I’m not sure that you could afford to shop in the store with what you must be making an hour, so your behavior confuses me. ”

    The behavior and comments of the clerk are inexcusable, no doubt, and should be reported to management promptly.

    However, the above statement from you is equally callous and prejudiced. You say that you are familiar with all the sterotypes of women with many kids and apparently that isn’t where your familiarity with sterotyping ends. Is what you’re saying that if the clerk made more money, her behavior wouldn’t have ”confused” you? That if she ”could afford” to shop in that store her comments would have been welcome? That being ”one step above a Wal-Mart cashier” holds her to a different standard than the people who own Wal-Mart?

    I get that her behavior was repugnant but tying her being a jerk to how much money she makes, or doesn’t, is repellant and distasteful as well. Having money doesn’t entitle anyone to be a jerk and not having money doesn’t make someone a jerk; being a jerk does.

  87. mary says:

    being in retail, i feel that all customers should always be treated with respect. being a human being, i feel that all PEOPLE should be treated with respect. you received inadequate customer service at that j jill, and a note or call to the manager is the best way to handle that.

    but i can’t for the life of me figure out why encountering one rude salesclerk would justify belittling someone for their income or career choice. the sales associate was rude, but only because she wasn’t skilled enough to hide her real feelings when she saw seven children walk into the store. though you may be an excellent mother who has taught your children appropriate public behavior, about 50% or more of the kids i see in stores have no idea how to behave in an adult environment. (and j jill IS an adult environment. it’s not chuck e cheese, it’s not a playground.) in my 20 years in retail, i have learned that many children don’t know how to be quiet in a store, how to let adults talk without interruputing, how to keep their hands off of fragile items, how to ask nicely for things…i could go on, but you get the point. i have watched, over and over again, someone’s little darling wreaking havoc and throwing items all over the floor, only to hear from mom:” just leave it honey, the salesgirl will pick it up, that’s what they’re paid for.” guess what. i’m not a sales girl. i manage a multi-million dollar a year business. and i don’t get paid to parent other people’s kids. the people who work for me are usually full-time moms or career people who work part-time at my store for extra money, or college or high school students who are trying to earn an education. they don’t get paid to parent other people’s kids either. all of us get paid to take excellent care of ALL of our customers, which can be very difficult when parents are letting their kids run amok in our store. i’m in that environment 50 hours a week. i know how frequently poor parenting ruins the shopping experience of all the other customers in the store. it’s hard to be nice to extremely irritating people, even with 20 years experience. it’s a skill that most people don’t have. that’s why most people aren’t qualified to work in retail

    i would guess that this j jill employee won’t last long in retail. somewhere along the line she was taught that she doesn’t have to be nice to people. she won’t enjoy retail, and eventually, she’ll leave or be fired. i would guess her attitude towards customers came from the way she was brought up. i wonder what your children’s attitude towards service people will be, based on the way they’re being brought up…

  88. Maiia says:

    I can hardly believe the folks bashing Chris here. She already explained the intent behind her ‘walmart’ comment–working retail is working retail, why are you putting on airs? It is inherently NOT a glamorous, prestigious job. Thank goodness there are folks who want to do it and some who are good at it! This is coming from a veteran latté slinger who knows a thing or two about retail…

  89. Shannanigan says:

    I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum… I refuse to have children and everyone thinks I’m nuts. I guess you gotta have 2.2 to be socially exceptable. LOL!

    I think good salesmanship and customer service are extinct concepts… 8 out of 10 times I get lousy service when I go shopping. (I suppose all the tattoos and cat-eye glasses don’t help much. LOL!) Of course the crappy customer service over the phone doesn’t have that excuse….

  90. jody says:

    Oh, man. Nevah go there again. Life is too short to waste it on stupid people.

    Have you checked out Billabong, Quicksilver and Roxy? They are geared towards petite people, and their clothes are so well made. Some of it is deenie bopper, but they have a line of capris and adorable tops that are to die for. Not to mention the purses and sandals.

    Plus, if you bring your 7 kids to a surf shop, you will get comments like “Righteous” “Do they surf?” and “Cool Grommets”. My daughter tried on every pair of flip flops in the store, and all the clerk did was bring her more to play with and smile. Quinn found a moth, and the young clerk talked with him and held the moth when Q handed it to him.

  91. mary anne says:

    where do people get off!
    Growing as one of eight, I heard comments like that all the time. Whenever people would see my parents with all of us, some moron would make a comment like .. You all are so well behaved or Your mother takes such good care of you all or you always look clean and well fed! what was up with that? Is it assumed because we were larger then the national average family we would be abused or neglected.
    The one that we hear now is the one I agree with whole heartedly my aunt said to me recently ” Whenever your mother told us she was pregnant we’d say poor Betty now we realize she is the lucky one.”
    You reap what you sow. There are eight of us …we have strong family ties and we put the fun in disfunction. Power on! you have a beautiful family ( clean and well fed too!) Enjoy them now but know the best is yet to come.
    mary anne pgh

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  94. Tori says:

    I don’t even go in there. I just look at all the “Walmart”, unflattering styles through the window and run the other wau to Chico’s.