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June 29, 2006

Rob: So, the doctor said I should go to therapy for my thumb.

Me: Counseling to come to terms with you disfigurement?

Rob: Ha…no, physical therapy.

Me: And?

Rob: I told him I could handle it from here. But then he said I need to come for Vitamin E treatment.

Me: What is that?

Rob: Rubbing Vitamin E on my thumb to promote healing.

Me: That’s it?

Rob: Yes.

Me: That couldn’t be it.

Rob: I know. I thought that too. But that is it.

Me: Will the therapist rub the Vitamin E on with her naked body or something?

Rob: No. I asked.

Me: Hardly seems worthwhile then.

Rob: I told the doctor that I have a wife at home who is more than capable of rubbing the Vitamin E on for me.

Me: Heh.

Rob: What?

Me: I’m thinking you have a right hand that is more than capable of rubbing Vitamin E on your thumb.


I am at dentist getting work done. The dentist has given me numerous novocaine shots. And yet my teeth are not numb.

Dentist: You metabolize the novocaine very quickly. Most people would have their entire head numb from all this novacaine.

Me: Why couldn’t I have a fast metabolism for something good, like cookies or pie.

Posted by Chris @ 8:16 am  

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  1. InterstellarLass says:

    HA HA HA! I kinda saw it coming. But that is so damn funny!

    Amen. Cookies and pie.

  2. KigoGal says:

    OMG! My father also metabolizes novacaine very quickly. It’s surprisingly common. Most doctors and dentists don’t check, they just shoot you up and go to work. (As they did on my poor papa’s vasectomy a few years back. When he asked them, “Is it supposed to hurt this bad?” the dr. and nurses about jumped through the roof! They thought he was numb from the belly button down!)

  3. kalisah says:

    Is the numbness not lasting or are you not getting numb at all?

    I had the same problem at a dentist years ago. She gave me 7 shots of novacaine and I couldn’t feel the entire right side of my face, but I could still feel her drilling on my tooth. Turns out my nerves ran lower (or higher?) than most people and she wasn’t actually hitting the nerve that led to my tooth.

    I found this out b/c I changed dentists and when I told the new guy about my experience, he knew exactly what the problem was.

  4. peepnroosmom says:

    HaHaHaHaHa That sounds just like something my hubby would say. And just like something I would say back! HaHaHaHaHa

  5. Trena says:

    I used to have the same problem–with the Novocaine anyway–(I’ve got the helpless husband too, but I don’t see that resolving anytime soon, ha ha)with my old dentist it would take double the number of shots just to get to a comfortable point. My new dentist has amazing technique though–the man has the placement down. The last time I had to got and see him, it took 1 shot and I was numb on the entire side of my face for the rest of the afternoon. It doesn’t make me like going to the dentist any better, but at least it can be bearable now. Good luck!

  6. Meg says:

    Oh, I once nearly got into a fistfight with a dentist who insisted I “had” to be numb from all the novecaine, despite the fact that I WAS NOT. Yeeeeouch.

    Is Rob gonna make you put on a nurse’s outfit to rub in the Vitamin E?

  7. bluepaintred says:

    lol i vote for the nurses outfit, and I also vote for the cookie and pie metabolisim!

  8. liz says:

    What bluepaintred said.

  9. L says:

    Nitrous oxide (laughing gas) - it’s waaaay better than Novocain!

  10. Cmommy says:

    Shucks, I can’t use the “slow metabolism” excuse anymore!

    (hope you’re feeling fine!) C

  11. Elizabeth says:

    I have to share my finger therapy story with you. About a year and a half ago I bumped my finger on the table while trying to prevent a glass of milk from spilling, and ended up screaming in pain (yes, the whole family did the don’t cry over spilled milk joke). I had torn a tendon in my middle finger (of course). I wore it splinted and then had to see occupational therapists for 8 weeks. I misunderstood what they said they’d do and thought I was getting shots. In fact, they put medicated gel on it and then massaged it in with a little sonar thingie. I also got ultrasound, paraffin wax treatment, and lots of exercises. They did help, but my finger still doesn’t go entirely straight or bend entirely down. Here’s the odd part, though. They said it took longer to get the medicated gel into my finger *because I’m a blonde.* Oh, sure, they tried to explain about pigment in the skin and stuff, but I know it was just another blonde joke somehow.

    Good luck to both of you! Are those teeth nearly done? You’ve been through a lot!

  12. Nohe 5 says:

    My father-in-law actually gets dental work done without any drugs. He says that if you know the pain is coming then you can deal with it. I am sometimes half tempted to say, “Hey, I’m about to hit you in the head with a frying pan.” And then do it just to see what happens.

    OK I would never do that, I love my FIL too much. Plus, he is very tall and I am very short. So the whole hitting him in the head thing would require a stool or small step ladder and who has time for that.

  13. Danielle says:

    It just seems like they will have to do more than that for the thumb. I cut my thumb a few years ago and I used Vitamin E cream to help heal it. It worked so well. I always keep a bottle of it now. I didn’t have any special method of putting it on. Didn’t need to wear a nurses outfit or anything. ;)

    I have the same problem with all painkiller. I had a tooth removed before I had enough novicane. I told the dentist and he didn’t believe me. I don’t like dentists now.

    How much more work on the teeth?

  14. kathryn, dym says:

    I don’t think I’ve told you yet, but I love the new design. I think Dan would have requested that I administer the Vitamin E as well. In fact, he may read this and decide he needs some therapy.

  15. Zookeeper says:

    Yep- and it tends to be genetic too, so be sure to watch your kids if they have dental work done. I discovered I had my father’s “immunity” to novocaine when they pulled one of my wisdom teeth. As the doctor is twisting pulling the tooth out of my mouth and I’m “screaming” (as much as you can with a mouth full of implements and a pair of hands) with tears running down my cheeks, he says “oh, you can feel that? Just hold on, almost done, we can’t stop now.” Ummm…yeah….thanks for checking doc.

  16. cassie-b says:

    They should have a metabolism especially for cookies and pie.

  17. jennster says:

    LMFAO! could you imagine having a numb head!? BWAHHAHA

  18. Jack Earl says:

    I take perocet for a bad neck, i would have to say i have been on meds for 20 years after falling 18 feet and landing on my head, I just went through a lot of dental work, and i am finding that the more i go, the less the novocaine works, in fact today, i had to stop all work, I am 280 when I ask some one to stop, they stop, some of what i read here, they should go through a period of no licsence to feel the same kind of pain, i have been told that tums works if you take them before you go to the dentist, the night before and right when you get up in the morning, and right before you get in the office, I did all that, but it did not work for me today, I have call my pain doctor to ask him what is going on, I am waiting for him to call, I should hear from him in an hour or so, but I am at the point to have them all pulled, if there is a solution to this could some one please list it, I am not in the position to jump dentist, I feel i found a good one, but I need to have some answers, please help thanks

  19. puzozuhatocagicn says:


    nice post…