June 29, 2006
Rob: So, the doctor said I should go to therapy for my thumb.
Me: Counseling to come to terms with you disfigurement?
Rob: Ha…no, physical therapy.
Rob: I told him I could handle it from here. But then he said I need to come for Vitamin E treatment.
Me: What is that?
Rob: Rubbing Vitamin E on my thumb to promote healing.
Me: That’s it?
Me: That couldn’t be it.
Rob: I know. I thought that too. But that is it.
Me: Will the therapist rub the Vitamin E on with her naked body or something?
Rob: No. I asked.
Me: Hardly seems worthwhile then.
Rob: I told the doctor that I have a wife at home who is more than capable of rubbing the Vitamin E on for me.
Me: I’m thinking you have a right hand that is more than capable of rubbing Vitamin E on your thumb.
I am at dentist getting work done. The dentist has given me numerous novocaine shots. And yet my teeth are not numb.
Dentist: You metabolize the novocaine very quickly. Most people would have their entire head numb from all this novacaine.
Me: Why couldn’t I have a fast metabolism for something good, like cookies or pie.
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