things you will never hear me say *
June 30, 2006
1. “I love exercising. Honestly, I can’t exercise enough.”
2. “These jeans make my ass look WAY too small.”
3. “I don’t think my children play enough baseball.”
4. “I wish my daughter would talk more. and screech more. and have more tantrums. Especially in the car.”
5. “My house is too clean. It is lacking that lived-in feel.”
6. “I have an even better idea…Let’s get two dogs… and a cat! Hell, let’s move to a farm.”
7. “I love spending all afternoon preparing delicious nutritous food for my children, even if they don’t appreciate it.”
8. “I love getting my period. I wish it came more often.”
9. “I love doing messy crafts with my children indoors. It doesn’t bother me AT ALL when they splash paint, glue or glitter all over the house. They are just expressing themselves.”
10. “I wish I could find a pair of denim overalls with Winnie the Pooh embroidered on the front pocket for myself.”
11. All the shorts that they are selling now in the stores are WAY too long and matronly.
12. “I am completely caught up on laundry.”
13. “There is nothing I love more than spending time in the car with my children, except grocery shopping with them. I think I might love that more.”
14. “I have too many shoes.”
15. “I have a great idea… Let’s go to Toys R Us. I don’t think you kids have enough toys!”
16. “Would you kids just run around and shout more, for crying out loud! I am so sick and tired of you guys just sitting there, quietly playing games and singing hymns together.”
feel free to add your own in the comments
* I completely stole this idea from my friend stacy, the rockin’ photographer who took the photo of the shoe that became my banner. But I didn’t steal the photo, she let me use it because she is also nice like that.
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