did you feel that?
July 10, 2006
yesterday the earth tipped a bit off of it’s axis.
and hell froze over.
And how do I know this? I wore a pair of shorts OUT IN PUBLIC.
I know. I am ready to star in a Moms Gone Wild video.
“Chris,” you ask, “what do you mean? Doesn’t everyone wear shorts?”
Well, yes they probably do. But then again they are probably all sane and I clearly have issues. Also the thought of subjecting others to the sight of my white jiggly thighs is too much for me to bear. So really I don’t wear shorts for the sake of everyone else. You’re welcome for your intact retinas.
The public wearing of the shorts was not intentional. I had gotten dressed in the morning and fully intended on taking off my shorts and putting on a cute skirt before I left the house. But, what with all the sandwich making, cooler packing, baseball crap gathering, I forgot.
I was driving and about ten minutes away from my house when I noticed. I thought about turning around and going home to change, but 1) then we would have been late and my eldest son would rather die a painful death than be late to anything, and 2) I’m not sure I want my children to realize the full extent of all my neurosis just yet. And so I drove on in spite of not being able to breathe and having heart palpitations.
But I didn’t drop dead. And strangely, no one seemed the least bit shocked that I have thighs, white white thighs. Unless they were all just afraid to look directly into the glare.
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