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and they will dip you in a flea bath, too

and they will dip you in a flea bath, too

July 11, 2006

Sunday morning I looked over at my 7 yr old and saw this:


And so like a concerned, loving parent, I said, “What the hell happened to you hair?”

He said, “Nothing. What are you talking about?”

“The bald spot on the side of your head…” His big wide innocent eyes look at me like I am crazy. “What happened to your hair?”

“Nothing, mommy.” LIKE I AM CRAZY.

After a few round of going back and forth I finally said, “Well unless you want me to take you to the veterinarian under the assumption that you have mange, you will tell me what happened.”

Turns out he had something sticky in his hair. Since evidently he has never heard of shampoo or a shower, so he pulled all the sticky hair out of his head. Yes, he PLUCKED all the hair from his head.

If only I could harness this energy for good, instead of evil.

Posted by Chris @ 7:40 am  

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  1. Jennifer says:

    I had to break up a fight the other day over who got to put the trash can on their heads. “Take turns!” How do you respond to this stuff?
    I (still) love your blog you are so funny….and annoyingly thin!

  2. Jamie says:

    Let us know if you’re able to harness that energy…I could use some!

  3. cheeriobutt says:

    Yup! That would be my son! Waaay too funny! I posted an e-mail I got today about Mothers! I think you might enjoy it!

  4. Damselfly says:

    Hee hee, this reminds me of an old Bill Cosby stand-up sketch in which his son supposedly gave himself a reverse mohawk. He asked his son what happened to his head. “I don’t know,” the son replied. So Bill replies, “Son, was your head with you all day today?!”

  5. cowmomba says:

    And where did the hair GO? Into the trash, or down the drain to begin plotting the next clog. (Six boys and one girl myself- I know how these things work.)

  6. daisy says:

    Damselfly, that’s the first thing I thought of. “What happened to your hair?” “I don’t know.” “Was your head with you all day?”
    OMG and ROTF!!!

  7. moe says:

    My daughter got gum stuck in her hair so, she gave herself a haircut. A REALLY short haircut right on the top of her head. For a few months she had this little tuft that stuck straight up. Of course that’s better than having to tell your mom you stuck gum in your hair so she would get it out without using scissors.

    “Was your head with you all day” Too Funny.

  8. Kelli says:

    I don’t normally comment but am a faithful reader. However, this entry was High-larious. Holy cow. I can’t stop laughing here at work. I loved this line especially, And so like a concerned, loving parent, I said, “What the hell happened to you hair?” Heeheehee.

  9. Kristen says:

    OMG! He plucked it out? Good god, he has a tough scalp. OW!!

  10. Contrary says:

    When my daughter was about 9 years old, she came to me after a bath and showed me how half of one of her eyebrows was gone. Gone. Not there. Vanished.

    I asked her how it happened and she said something like, ‘I don’t know! I just looked in the mirror and it was like this!’

    After several minutes and an explanation of what happens to little girls who fib to their mothers (hint: It ain’t good.), she admitted to having shaved half of her eyebrow off.

    The thing she never could tell me was WHY, in the name of all that is holy, would she do that.

    So, yeah, been there. Done that.

  11. Jean says:

    One of my daughters, at around age ten, developed a habit of absent-mindedly plucking hair from her head. By the time I noticed (concerned, observant parent that I am) she had plucked out a circle about the size of a half-dollar from right in the middle of her forehead! Since the rest of her hair was halfway down her back, this little fiasco showed itself for quite a while.

    “Was your head with you all day?” I am defintely using that line sometime!

  12. Blaine says:

    My 9 year old recently altered his hairstyle as well. Come by a take a look.


  13. bluepaintred says:

    maybe if the shampoo and conditionor were on a lower shelf?

  14. JustLinda says:

    My daughter (who was around 7 at the time) did that and I wasn’t smart enough to think of the vet/mange thing. I still don’t know why she did it. But it was right on top her head, and as it grew back out, it totally stuck straight up like Alfalfa’s hair (her hair is otherwise long). I took pictures of it. We teased (with hearts full of LOVE, of course) and I’m pretty sure she will NEVER do something like that again. LOL

  15. stacey says:

    Well look at it this way at least he didn’t come whining to you to get the sticky stuff out. Independence in a child can be a good thing sometimes. This time maybe not so much, but sometimes.

  16. jody says:

    Well, hell. That had to have hurt.

    Tough as nails. He is learning from the one that trephinated his finger nail?

  17. Maddy says:


  18. Suebob says:

    I love that they think they can get away with saying “What?” Too funny.

    My sis cut off my other sister’s bangs, to the nub, when she said she didn’t want bangs anymore. Look, no more bangs! Nubs!

  19. Pieces says:

    OMG. Too funny.

  20. Gwen says:

    Makes him look a little Sixth Sense.

  21. Heather says:


  22. halloweenlover says:

    I can barely tear my eyes away from the picture, it just looks so painful. That kid definitely has character, right?

  23. Danielle says:

    I can’t even pluck my eyebrows. How could he do that to his head?

    I love when they act like they have no idea. Do they really think that we at least won’t figure out that they did that?

  24. Grim Reality Girl says:

    My daughter cut her own hair when she was 5. My husband told me about over the cell phone while I was running through Chicago’s Midway airport to catch a connecting flight. I think it is better to be there for the ugly moment than to hear about it.

    You son has tenacity since he plucked vs. cutting. He will go a long way in life :-)

  25. Suebob says:

    I gave your beach post some link love:

  26. Mary Tsao says:

    That bald patch is going to bother you way more than it bothers him! For one thing, you can see it and he can’t!

  27. Mocha says:

    He must have a high tolerance for pain. My nephew, who is black, had a bald spot once and my sister feared her husband would be mad because she was the one trying to cut his hair with clippers. She used mascara to fill it in.

    Pure genius.

  28. mom8k says:

    My 3 year old daughter chopped her bangs to the scalp and hacked out several other random chunks from the top and back of her head one weekend while I was gone. My husband thought the best way to fix it would be to buzz her head and start over! Fortunately he called me before he did it, and we averted the secondary disaster. For weeks total strangers commented on her custom haircut!

  29. Mary says:

    Oh, the lengths they will go to to get some Mommy time!


  30. mmc says:

    Was your head with you all day? I thought that line, too.

    Is this the same son of the baseball/fingernail/stick injury?

  31. Lara Gallagher says:

    He IS of the male gender right? He probably, truely forgot about the whole thing. My 8 year old son often can’t remember what he did 3 seconds ago. A male trait that can definitely be used in our favor when needed.

  32. Heather says:

    Oh my…we JUST did this last week!!! Thought he had alopecia…but the pitting in the fingernails weren’t there…..so I asked AGAIN…what happened…

    I think….

    I got silly putty in my hair……
    i think….I gave him a nuggy, and sent him on his way…it’s growing in a different color…

    love your blog!!! I’ve been reading for a couple months…and this is just too darned close to home!! lol….