Warning: session_start() [function.session-start]: Cannot send session cookie - headers already sent by (output started at /home/chris/public_html/wp-includes/version.php:10) in /home/chris/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 119

Warning: session_start() [function.session-start]: Cannot send session cache limiter - headers already sent (output started at /home/chris/public_html/wp-includes/version.php:10) in /home/chris/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 119
Linky love

Linky love

July 18, 2006

I am always learning important things on this internet, knowledge I could not live without.

Just when I think I have the smartest kid on the block. I read that someone else has an even smarter one. God help all of us stupid parents. If only we were half as smart as we thought we were as teenagers.


Last night at the grocery store I bought the ingredients to make tacos. We haven’t had them in awhile and it seemed like a quick and easy thing to make since we are still living in baseball hell. And most importantly, it only requires stove top cooking and wouldn’t heat the house up too much. Then I read this, and let’s just say I am rethinking the tacos.

After breaking up a fight this morning over a bag of Golden Puffs, which resulted in the bag being torn open and cereal spilling all over the floor and lots of screaming, some even by the kids, well, I am done with fighting. Because if my son screams at me, “You can’t make me” again today, well I just might make him, dead that is.

And after reading this, whenever my kids are sick I am going to amuse myself by shouting, “The Fever, The Fever….” and rend my garments. Reading Jennifer’s blog gives me a lot of insight into my in-laws thoughts, since they are first generation Italian-Americans. My mother in law thinks pastina is the cure-all for sickness, and Noxema… it fixes whatever might ail you. Leg broken? rub on some Noxema. Itchy rash? rub on some Noxema. Have a headache? you guessed it.


And as a bonus, before my fingers become too slippery with sweat, here is part of a conversation I had this weekend with my sister-in-law. Who, it should be mentioned, has never, NOT ONCE, babysat for any number of my children.

“What do you mean you are going away for four days?”

“Um, yes I am going away. it has been planned for awhile.”

“But, who is going to watch your kids?”

“Their father. You know that man I married and had sex with? The man who is responsible for half their genetic material. That man. He is perfectly capable.”

“You aren’t afraid to leave him home alone with all those children?”

“Afraid? No, why would I be afraid? He may not do everything the way I would like him to, but everyone will survive, and really anything else is just icing.”

“But still… I can’t believe you would do that!”

And at that point, in the interest of preserving family harmony which would be lost should I kill her, I think I said something like,

“It’s really hot outside, huh?”

Posted by Chris @ 5:49 am  

RSS feed for comments on this post.

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:


  1. T in HD says:

    Where are you going? Where ever it is, I hope you have a great time. My dh offered to take off from work and watch our kiddos so that I could use my free ticket (frequent flyer miles) to fly back to the US for a week to visit my aunt and uncle and go horse back riding. A week horse back riding and free from housework and child care…. So why am I dithering????

  2. T in HD says:

    That word should be “wherever” not “where ever”… Sometimes I think placenta brain never goes away.

  3. Cheryl says:

    Yes, teens are so smart - I currently live with two who know everything…..

    I’m now rethinking tacos for dinner…..

    Noxema makes my face breakout…..

    Have a WONDERFUL trip, Chris!!!!

  4. Carmen says:

    HAHAHA. You are too funny! LMAO at the “leaving the kids with their father” conversation!

    thanks for the linky love!

  5. Jean says:

    Have a great time, Chris!

  6. Caren says:

    The Noxema thing sounds like the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. He had the same weird obsession with Windex, I believe. My husband is also Italian.

  7. InterstellarLass says:

    In my house, it’s my 7 & 11 year-olds that are so smart. What the hell is going to happen to me when they’re teens??? I’m going to have to remove all sharp objects from the household. That’s it.

  8. ben says:

    Leaving the children with Their Father?

    Oh, my, say it isn’t so!

    people have said that to my wife, about our three kids, and she always responds with “if you can’t leave them with your husband, why did you marry the guy?”

  9. speckledpup says:

    why do people not thing a man can babysit.
    I come home and they’re alive.
    He did his job.
    He come’s home and they’re alive.
    I’ve done mine…

    gawd. I hate people.

  10. Susan says:

    From the first time you posted how annoyed you were that your SIL refuses to have her picture taken, I realized we must in fact share the same exact SIL. This now confirms it.

    I work outside the home, and my SIL gave me a lecture about how SHE would *never* put up with my taking an hour of leave without pay every morning (the way my husband/her brother does) so that I can drop the kids off at school. Hell, burn me at the stake for wanting that little bit of extra time with my kids each day!

    Also, once when we were at my daughter’s dance recital, she asked if that night was the only performance. I told her no, that we had two more that weekend. She very coldly said, “THAT’S why I never put my kids in ANY activities.”

    Oh, to be so loving and attentive. I can only strive for such perfection, really…

  11. ek says:

    This is one of the reasons I am unable to have a relationship with one of my sil’s - I could never be as civil and tongue-biting as you, classy lady ;-)

    My husband balks about being alone with TWO kids for a FEW hours - you are married to a prince of a guy (and he is married to the queen of course :-D)

    Can’t wait until you can get to and report back about BlogHer - I know I am going to be thinking of ya’ll!

  12. Melanie says:

    I just don’t understand it when I’m alone somewhere and people ask me who is watching my kids … um, DH. Or better yet when they ask if DH is BABYSITTING the kids. Why is it babysitting when DH does it but not when I do?

  13. TC says:

    I don’t understand how people are incapable of understanding that my child’s father is perfectly capable of watching without anything awful happening.

  14. halloweenlover says:

    I laughed at the whole post, but now that I’m done, all I can think is that I’m hungry for tacos.

    Thanks a lot.

  15. Kristine says:

    That whole thing about the husband not being capable of watching the kids really irks me…especially when they call it babysitting. I have more than once yelled out in my office (a cubicle) “It’s NOT babysitting, if they’re YOUR kids!” Only to hear back, “Hey, I’ve heard that before.”

  16. maria says:

    My MIL frequently comments on all those kids we have (all 3 of them) when she herself had 4 - and the youngest and clearly not planned one turned out best of all (even if he quivers at the thought of being left alone with them…)

    Have a great break.

  17. peepnroosmom says:

    That was funny. My FIL thought Lysol and Listerine could cure the world.
    Thanks for the taco thing. That’s something we can have without turning on the oven.:)

  18. moe says:

    Acording to my Italian SIL Windex cures everything, my SIL that is married to an Italian says his family believes bleach will fix everything. Too funny! I love hearing the Italina relative stories.

  19. Terri says:

    Food battles. Ugh. We had a battle one night on vacation last week. We won. I think.

  20. Erin says:

    My grandmother always taught me that it was vicks vapor rub that was the cure all for anything. I used to always be careful to hide any open cuts from her eyes.

  21. kathryn, dym says:

    I, for one, am glad you’re going away but also horrified. Horrified and glad all at the same time. See the emotions you bring out in people with your writing? It’s quite remarkable.

  22. Elizabeth says:

    And in my family hydrogen peroxide cures all. Just thought I’d mention it in case there are any desperate folks out there buying up Noxema, bleach, Windex, Vicks Vapor Rub, Lysol, and Listerine - did I miss any?

    I personally don’t own hydrogen peroxide. I cure my kids with band-aids and a thermometer.

  23. Jenn says:

    I just wish I was half as smart as my teen and tween. I mean to know EVERYTHING all the TIME about ANYTHING? I can only imagine! AHhhhh to be so brilliant!

  24. Heidi says:

    Why is it that a husband can leave and no one asks “who’s watching the kids?” But the wife leaves and they ask who’s watching them.? Did they both not make the children and both not raise them?!? lurker who just had to comment

  25. bluepaintred says:

    umm whats noxema? no joke

    and here is what bugs me.. when a girlfriend calls me up and says .” see if your hubs can babysit the kids and we will go out for a cuppa”

    uh hellloooo??? he is theri dad.. he doesnt baby sit them he RAISES them! how can a parent , male or female babysit?


    on anohter not it sounds like while your marriage ended it ended with all parties talking n stuff.. thats cool.. right on

    can I have tacos and what are golden puffs?
    i want green peppers on my taco

  26. bluepaintred says:

    another notE,,,, oh screw it, i cant begin to fix all teh typos LOL

  27. Jennifer says:


    It you really wanted to make the ranting authentic, you could scream, “La Febbre! La Febbre!” (”la febray”). And make sure the in-laws see you. Now that would be good.

  28. Renae says:

    Your blog is so funny. I look forward to reading it each day. I too find it hilarious when people ask if my hubby is babysitting lol.

    I also have a know-it-all teen who is slowly driving me crazy.


  29. Maddy says:

    Hmm you can’t pick your family, even the man your married’s family. But my monster-in-law makes me appreciate my mum SO much.

  30. Sarah says:

    The ability to change the course of a deadly conversation with ones in-laws, (regarding you daring to leave your children with your husband), should be taught to all couples prior to marriage. I used to feel I had to be honest and vent any annoyance I felt toward them…it didn’t work out well.