July 18, 2006
I am always learning important things on this internet, knowledge I could not live without.
Just when I think I have the smartest kid on the block. I read that someone else has an even smarter one. God help all of us stupid parents. If only we were half as smart as we thought we were as teenagers.
Last night at the grocery store I bought the ingredients to make tacos. We haven’t had them in awhile and it seemed like a quick and easy thing to make since we are still living in baseball hell. And most importantly, it only requires stove top cooking and wouldn’t heat the house up too much. Then I read this, and let’s just say I am rethinking the tacos.
After breaking up a fight this morning over a bag of Golden Puffs, which resulted in the bag being torn open and cereal spilling all over the floor and lots of screaming, some even by the kids, well, I am done with fighting. Because if my son screams at me, “You can’t make me” again today, well I just might make him, dead that is.
And after reading this, whenever my kids are sick I am going to amuse myself by shouting, “The Fever, The Fever….” and rend my garments. Reading Jennifer’s blog gives me a lot of insight into my in-laws thoughts, since they are first generation Italian-Americans. My mother in law thinks pastina is the cure-all for sickness, and Noxema… it fixes whatever might ail you. Leg broken? rub on some Noxema. Itchy rash? rub on some Noxema. Have a headache? you guessed it.
And as a bonus, before my fingers become too slippery with sweat, here is part of a conversation I had this weekend with my sister-in-law. Who, it should be mentioned, has never, NOT ONCE, babysat for any number of my children.
“What do you mean you are going away for four days?”
“Um, yes I am going away. it has been planned for awhile.”
“But, who is going to watch your kids?”
“Their father. You know that man I married and had sex with? The man who is responsible for half their genetic material. That man. He is perfectly capable.”
“You aren’t afraid to leave him home alone with all those children?”
“Afraid? No, why would I be afraid? He may not do everything the way I would like him to, but everyone will survive, and really anything else is just icing.”
“But still… I can’t believe you would do that!”
And at that point, in the interest of preserving family harmony which would be lost should I kill her, I think I said something like,
“It’s really hot outside, huh?”
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