I can’t help myself
July 21, 2006
I swore that I wasn’t going to write about little league baseball anymore. But last night I think was the worst time I have ever had. And quite possibly the worst time ever had by anyone attending a little league game.
It could have been:
1) Due to the oppressive heat and humidity
2) The fact that all of the ground surrounding the bleachers where we sat was just dry dust because there is not a speck of shade to be found. Honestly, I contemplated climbing under the bleachers.
3) As soon as we arrived the baby pooped his diaper, and I, of the always prepared for every inevitability, had no diapers. Nope, not one. And so I put him back into his shorts overalls commando.
4) That I had to chase my daughter down every five freaking minutes when she decided she wanted to go to the playground instead of watching the game, but it was in the sun too and all the metal playground equipment was too hot to touch.
5) As soon as I would reach her, my 19 mos old son would take off running in the opposite direction
6) And within five minutes of being diaperless, my son peed. Not that anyone could really tell since he was saoking wet with all the water and gatorade he had poured all over himself. But I knew, and definitely didn’t want to be carrying his pee pee self on my hip. This made bringing him back to the bleachers after he ran off that much more difficult.
7) That and the fact that sweat made their little arms slippery so every time they acted like they had been deboned they would slide right to the ground and make a break for it again.
So to all others I appeared to be a sweaty dirty yelling lunatic.
9) Some nice, though misguided person gave my 19 mos old a strawberry to eat. And then he had to wipe he face and hands off on the back of my light blue Ann Taylor tshirt.
10) I was covered in dust, so that it looked like my legs and sandals had purposefully been dusted, except for where the sweat was running down my legs, leaving trails of mud into my sandals.
11) When the game finally ended and we were, surprisingly, still alive we headed to the van where I sprinkled all the little sweaty kids with baby powder, in an effort to cool them off and make them less slimy until we could get home and have baths. And, because I was so sweaty I liberally sprinkled myself with baby powder too.
12) I discovered, after interacting with numerous strangers and acquaintances, including the drive through person at McDonald’s and the people at the gas station pumping gas, that my face resembled Al Pacino in Scarface, after he has his face on a desk full of cocaine. But that’s just me, spreading a positive image of mega motherhood everywhere I go.
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