Conversations d’jour
August 9, 2006
I am telling Rob a story about a horrible salesperson at the bookstore, which as an aside what is wrong with these low level people thinking they own the store, when the following conversation occurred:
Me: I really don’t know why she was so awful. I did go and complain to the manager so great was her awfulness.
Rob: Was she young, old, or what?
Me: Uh, I don’t know. I am not good at judging ages.
Rob: Was she middle aged?
Me: No. I don’t think she was that old. Maybe she was my age.
Rob: Well then she was middle aged. YOU are middle aged you know.
Me: I am not middle aged.
Rob: Yes you are.
Me: I am not!
Rob: Then what is middle aged?
Me: I don’t know. Forty? Is forty middle aged? God, I am depressed now. Am I really middle aged?
Rob: Yes you are.
Me: How depressing. I feel like someone just pissed in my cheerios.
Rob: Ha.
Me: Then you must be a senior citizen… a senior citizen who isn’t getting any, anytime soon.
*********
Rob: So I was talking to [his best friend since childhood] about our upcoming trip and I told him to make sure he brought his glove. And he said that he was going to tell me the same thing.
Me: gloves? is it going to be that cold there?
Rob: not gloves, GLOVE.
Me, hearing the words yet not understanding: what?
Rob: baseball glove?
Me: And why would you want to bring your baseball glove on a trip with you?
Rob, as if it were completely obvious: So we can play catch? (I swear he followed this statement up with a duh?, but he insists he didn’t.)
Me: What are you,10?
Rob: Oh c’mon you are being unfair. What’s wrong with bringing a baseball glove?
Me: Not a thing. I know when I was sitting around in San Jose I frequently thought, “You know what would make this experience perfect…playing a game of catch right now.”
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Dang - a game of catch WOULD have been perfect. Ha.
August 9th, 2006 at 7:06 amGrown-ups play cstch? When the kids aren’t there? I must not get out of the house enough.
August 9th, 2006 at 7:13 am” “You know what would make this experience perfect…playing a game of catch right now.”
ROTFLMAO!!
August 9th, 2006 at 7:23 amThat’s adorable, though! (Not the middle-aged part).
August 9th, 2006 at 7:23 amWas that before or after I was braiding your hair? Or, wait, I know! During the naked pillow fight!
August 9th, 2006 at 7:49 amWell, you coulda played catch, if you brought your dang glove!
(duh)
August 9th, 2006 at 8:01 amMiddle age starts at 50 DAMMIT! And nothing you say will make me believe otherwise. So there.
August 9th, 2006 at 8:15 amWell Duh! Don’t all guys bring their gloves with them on vacation?
I guess middle age all depends on when you plan on dying.
August 9th, 2006 at 8:35 am60!!!! I vote 60!!! For middle age, that is. ‘Cuz I’m 46 and no where close to being middle aged.
And since I am still VERY YOUNG a nice game of catch sounds like alot of fun.
August 9th, 2006 at 8:35 am*Fingers in ears.*
La la la la about middle age la la la la.
And really? Catch? That’s so cute.
August 9th, 2006 at 8:37 amWhat is it with husbands informing us we’re middle-aged?! My husband is 42 (almost 43), and I’m 38, and he & I had almost that exact same conversation about a year ago. How dare he! I insisted that 50 was middle-aged. He said only if I lived to 100, which I informed him I most certainly planned on doing. Just to show him, of course. That’ll teach him, right?
Also, I totally hear you on the baseball glove thing. My husband bought me one a few years ago. I used it once, to play catch - at a picnic - with our son. My husband brought it out recently, asking why I never use it. Somehow, between working outside the home full-time, running my kids to cheerleading, baseball, and soccer 4 nights out of 5, assisting with baths and hair-washing, helping out with homework, doing laundry and housework, packing backpacks and laying out clothes….. SOMEHOW, I just didn’t think to pick up that glove. Not once. Really, what kind of mother am I? Maybe if I live to 100, I’ll find some time between now and then to play catch. But I can’t promise anything.
August 9th, 2006 at 9:34 amWhoa people! In my little corner of the world, middle age is 50. I can’t be middle aged now. I have three kids six and under. That technically does not fit into the middle aged bracket. Right?
August 9th, 2006 at 10:07 amI made this realization last fall and it was very, very painful. You have my deepest empathy.
August 9th, 2006 at 10:20 amI guess guys bring along a baseball glove for the same reason that we bring a half-dozen pairs of shoes for a weekend trip. You know, just in case.
August 9th, 2006 at 10:32 amI cannot WAIT to see this in person!
August 9th, 2006 at 10:36 amI just looked up “middle age” on dictionary.reference.com and they defined it as the “time of life between youth and old age, generally reckoned as the years between 40 and 60″.
Stupid dictionary. What the h*ll does it know?
August 9th, 2006 at 11:15 amWell, if you are middle age, then I hope I look as stunning as you do when I am middle age! (which will be soon, by the way)
August 9th, 2006 at 12:14 pmHere I thought middle age was something that kept moving around the corner. It’s something I don’t think you ever reach, right?? Right????
August 9th, 2006 at 12:45 pmMiddle age is getting older and older the closer I get to it.
August 9th, 2006 at 12:56 pmJust for the record, middle aged is something beyond 46.5 and not one second sooner.
August 9th, 2006 at 1:41 pmI though middle age was something that happened in the 1300s. Because there’s no way in hell that i could be middle aged.
When you started talking about gloves so soon after the denying sex part, i was thinking of a different kind of glove. It was confusing. Must be an sign of middle age.
August 9th, 2006 at 3:08 pmMiddle aged men playing catch … priceless.
August 9th, 2006 at 5:26 pmLike menoblog,I thought you were going to say Rob was suggesting he bring a condom and be all shocked. After finishing the post, I pictured some young, non-middle-aged guys talking about bringing a glove on a trip meaning a “love glove,” but your middle-aged guy overheard and thought “yeah, I should tell MY buddy to bring a baseball glove on our trip . . .” - you know, just combining the themes on today’s post.
August 9th, 2006 at 7:26 pmI guess I’m the only one who never connected glove with baseball, but with the last sentence of the previous vinette, something about not getting any…
So, um, any “special” gloves in Rob’s future? Cause I’ve heard those palm blisters can be a bitch.
Oh, and I can tell you, that from the vantage point of 46, FIFTY is definitely only the START of middle age. And really, I’m thinking that SIXTY is really middle aged. Yeah!
August 9th, 2006 at 8:01 pmLOL at Mir’s comment! My husband teased me for weeks before BlogHer about how he wanted me to have naked tickle pillow fights. MEN!
I’m just glad no one at BlogHer brought playing cards to the pool and tried to get me to play euchre. Ugh.
August 9th, 2006 at 9:21 pmDo not fear middle age! I’m having a ball. I’m available to anyone who needs middle age lessons. It involves workshops on running marathons and throwing gang signs.
Catch would have been sublime at BlogHer. Brilliant, Chris. There was a parking lot at the back of Cell Block 8 where we housed the childcare center. Huge space for games. We’ll have to figure something out for Chicago.
At South by Southwest a bunch of folks organize kick ball.
http://dashes.com/kick/
Hella cool, eh? We should have some athletic event for BlogHer, don’t you think?
Oh-uh…I think I’m nominating myself to head another committee…yaaah! Help me!
xoxox
August 10th, 2006 at 9:44 amI was hoping that middle age started at 80! Darn. I always enjoy your Rob conversations!
August 10th, 2006 at 11:43 amBet he wished he’d taken his glove to the airport. A game of catch in line would be good…
August 10th, 2006 at 1:26 pmI often think about how I perceived my mom when she way my age (old) and how my kids must be perceiving me now (young and hip, of course.) We are not middle age! Or maybe we are. Sigh.
I was so bummed because I had my glove in the car that entire weekend and totally forgot to bring it out! Darn! Double darn!
August 10th, 2006 at 3:36 pmPlay catch with your husband when you’re mad at him. Then you can throw it at his head and play stupid.
Have I done this before you ask? hm… no but it’s a good idea.
My husband also loves catch.
August 10th, 2006 at 5:39 pm“Not a thing. I know when I was sitting around in San Jose I frequently thought, “You know what would make this experience perfect…playing a game of catch right now.”
This made me lol!
August 11th, 2006 at 6:24 amMy mom told me I was middle aged recently. I’m going to be 30 in October. I’m thrilled to turn 30 and was totally depressed about being tagged with the “MA” word.
August 18th, 2006 at 12:12 pm