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August 11, 2006

It’s blueberry season again.


And unlike last year, the blueberries taste sweet.

And this year I can see all the things of which I am thankful. This year the hazy fog of depression is gone. This year I can give thanks for:

Baby feet
baby shoes

Round baby bellies

round toddler tummies

snow cones on a hot day:


flowers that grow outside my front door


flying through the air:


Sun-kissed dimples


That maybe I am doing something right

siblings who love each other, usually

And on the third anniversary of the death of Rob’s sister, I am mostly thankful for time:


Time to find my smile again.

Nothing makes you look old and haggard than posing with a baby

Time to finally get it right.

Picking blueberries

This year, it is enough. And I am thankful.

Posted by Chris @ 9:12 am  

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  1. jody says:

    Beautiful! Glad for your smiles and happiness!

  2. Beth says:

    Just a little teary now. But good teary.

  3. Sock Girl says:

    What a lovely post!

  4. Heather says:

    I read this and cry. Selfishly, my tears are not for you but remembering my own dark time just over a year ago. We had babies at about a month apart Chris and I hadn’t found you to read yet. Looking at this, I wish I had. Here’s to more sweet years!

  5. Susan says:

    I am thankful for this utterly beautiful post.

  6. ben says:

    Yay for time! And blueberries.

  7. MommyHAM says:


    I read the old post and related. Far, too, well. I have struggled with depression, PPD and just plain major depression off and on throughout my life. This winter was a new low for me.

    I’m so thankful for stories of recovering the happiness, like this.

    Thanks so much for sharing - beautifully bittersweet, and shows just how true it is that to fully know the happy times, we must have had some sad times with which to compare.

  8. Brigitte says:

    Ooh, you made me cry. My baby is just a month older than yours, and I still occasionally sink into myself and she has to pull me out. Maybe there’s hope!

  9. MommyHAM says:

    P.S. I have written about my own struggles with depression, and thought it was fitting to link to this post on my blog - as my readers will enjoy too.

  10. Gretchen says:

    Wow, that was beautiful. Too much for my pg hormones, LOL. I’m so glad you are feeling better this year.

    I’m still jealous of your great pics. When your kids are grown, they will thank you for having the camera with you. Mine will just complain all over again, just like they do now. LOL

  11. GG says:

    Beautiful post! I love it. And mmmm on the blueberries!

  12. peepnroosmom says:

    I’m a little teary, too. My baby just this week turned one. I remember after he was born the only place I was happy was in the shower.It was where nobody could get me or need me or talk to me. I’m all better now, though. Thank you for putting all that into words.

  13. Jennifer says:

    I was hospitalized for clinical depression 14 months ago. I try my best not to remember the numb days that came before and after. While I will more than likely be on medication for the rest of my life, it will be worth it to be clear, to be happy, to be able to love and be loved.
    My depression hit around my middle daughters’ birthday, so I will always have that reminder…however, I hope I will always be able to see how far I’ve come since then :)!

  14. Jennifer says:

    I am so happy for you.

  15. Mir says:


  16. Lori says:

    Great post today! Enjoy your blueberries!

  17. emily says:

    those baby feet are SO adorable. seriously. i can hardly stand it. :)

  18. ek says:

    Lovely post. Was it ALL that rain that made those berries so sweet? ;-)

  19. Cheryl says:

    I’m happy for you! You are such a wonderful and beautiful woman, wife, and mother!

  20. Beth says:

    This is lovely. I’m so glad things are better for you this time around. :-)

  21. Lilly says:

    Yay for your being able to see the sunshine in your life. I’m going to send the link to this post to a friend who is in the middle of a depression and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  22. Melora says:

    Beautiful pictures and words. Thank you.

  23. Julie @ Telluride says:

    You made me actually cry while sitting at my desk!!! BEAUTIFUL!

    I have been reading your blog for about 3 months now - I actually went back and read every past entry. At work every day it gives me a lot of laughs and heartfelt pleasure to read it. It also made me want another baby “Gasp” (–sound made from my husband when i told him). My babies are 5 and 8 and I miss the little baby things!!

    Thank you so much for writing this every day! You make my day!

    Telluride, CO

  24. Kristen says:

    Beautiful - both the words and the pictures.

  25. Meg says:

    Big hugs, my dear…

  26. lipstickface says:

    I know we’ve never met, but I love you Chris. You made me cry - happy cry! I’m dont really have words for how this feels, to be so moved by someone I’ve never even met yet like so so much. I’m so happy for you - you have such a beautiful life. It’s beauty moves me, a stranger to tears.

  27. Shotgun says:

    Congratulations on getting to a place in your life where you can appreciate the sweetness in the everyday things life has to offer.

  28. Jenijen says:


  29. Amy says:

    I am so happy for you! Enjoy those blueberries!

  30. Debbie says:

    i remember that post clearly. it was that post that made me start to confront my own PPD and recognise I was ill too. looking back on that poem really made me sharply inhale.

    Lets hope the worse is behind us.

    And God help all those who follow.

  31. jennster says:

    this is beautiful. and so heartwarming. big hugs

  32. liz says:

    So beautiful. I am all verklempt.

  33. Carmen says:

    That was beautiful, and I’m so glad that you are in a happier place now.

  34. Mary says:

    What a post of perfect perspective… and the cutest baby feet in those little green shoes (are they called crocs?) I am so glad the blueberries are sweet for you this year.

  35. jeana says:

    This post was truly beautiful.

  36. I Dressed Myself says:

    Oh, thank goodness the blueberries taste sweet and that you can see all that you have to be thankful for.

  37. Novaks8 says:


    You know how much I love and admire you.

    I’m thankful that things are better.

  38. judi casey says:

    happy to see your revitalized perspective on life.
    how sweet it is.

  39. Susan says:

    Oh I just want to smooch you.

    That is all.

  40. Danielle says:

    That was beautiful. My twins are just a few weeks older than miles and I was in the dark place with you. I just didn’t know this blog yet.

    I had read the previous blog entry before and loved it. It so beautifully puts the thoughts and feelings of depression.

    I’m finally at a place where I can enjoy my children. The blueberries are sweet for me this year as well.

  41. sarah says:

    Speechless and choked up. Wonderful post.

  42. Jennifer says:

    I am still using a little “artificial sweetener” so to speak, but I am still here for my kids and that’s all that matters right now. Thanks for the perspective.

  43. Elizabeth says:

    That was just beautiful, the words and the photos. I love the one of your son with the dimples! So cute.

  44. Heather says:


  45. CaliforniaGrammy says:

    I’m so happy for you to be able to enjoy smiling again. With all those adorable kids you can’t help but keep smiling now. Life is good!

  46. Gretchen says:

    Long Time Reader…First Time Commenter.

    This made me cry and smile all at the same time. It is beautiful, as are your children. Keep up the great writing work.

  47. Kristina says:

    B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. Thank you for posting these thoughts and photos.
    I too check your blog frequently, but only once in a blue moon comment.
    You are a gifted writer, with a tremendous sense of humor. : )

  48. Maddy says:

    Oh bless you, that was lovely.

  49. TC says:

    What a lovely, well written, touching post!

  50. Carola says:

    That was beautiful, I’m happy for you.

  51. Suburban Turmoil says:

    Beautiful pictures. You are making me do the pregnant cry. Aaaagh!

  52. Jennifer says:

    So glad you’ve found your smile! You certainly have much to smile about and your kids’ grins are infectious.

  53. madre-terra says:

    I love the photos and the heartfelt sharing!!
    I most love….the baby crocs!!

  54. Amah says:

    I wish I had pictures of my children (now grown) like you take of yours. All of mine are “old style” posed and fake. You are such a wonderful Mom. You do so much with your family - I couldn’t believe how down on yourself you were for sooooo long. Glad you are UP again. Look forward to more posts.

  55. GW Mama says:

    Wow! Your children are beautiful and truly a blessing to you and your hubby! I’m glad that you are feeling blessed today because you really are!

    I’m sorry about the death of your dear sis-in-law three years ago! I lost my sis-in-law and best friend in 2001 to a car accident! The hurt was so great, but time has healed the wounds—still, I miss her.

    God bless you! I love reading your blog!


  56. InterstellarLass says:

    Your children are beautiful. I think you do a lot right. Yay for happiness and smiles!

  57. suzanne says:

    i’ve only been lurking for a while, had not read the referred to post before. it’s good to see that side. to realize that even people i think are perfect, sometimes are just like me. i am a ppd sufferer. 3 times over and i’m expecting again. a sucker for torture, i guess, but the last time i finally figured out against all the unwarranted advice that zoloft can be a friend. i’m so glad your fog has passed. and that you give such upbeat laugh out loud posts. keep ‘em comin’, please!

  58. Gillian says:

    You are a blessing. Thank you.

  59. Much More Than A Mom says:

    This was the most beautiful post I’ve read all day. Wonderful. Thanks for sharing. (I sound like spam! Would you like a pe.nis enlar.gement too? Yeesh.) Anyway, that was beautiful.

    BTW, I love your header graphic.

    I’ve moved to http://www.muchmorethanamom.com

    Come on over and check out my new look!

  60. Pass the Torch says:

    Powerful post. Really powerful.

  61. Susan says:

    Beautiful words and even more beautiful pictures. You’re amazing, Chris.

  62. Jen says:

    We always visit my father in Sevierville, TN at this time of year, and my daughter loves to harvest the blueberries. Unfortunately they are moving right now, so we will miss the mountains, the blueberries, the nature walks, and seeing my father teach my daughter how to pick tomatoes at their peak. The good news, they are moving back here to Houston, so my kids will know their Pappadaddy again.

    We will miss those beautiful blueberries. We would make blueberry pancakes, with fresh blueberry syrup. We made blueberry icecream, blueberry salad dressing, blueberry jam, the list goes on….