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rubber coated utensils would make the world a better place

rubber coated utensils would make the world a better place

August 24, 2006

I am getting ready to leave and go to the dentist. Yes again. I know I should just move in there I am there so often. My husband already his his paycheck directly deposited into the dentist’s bank account.

The funny thing is that my teeth look fine. I have people tell me all the time that my teeth looked really good, and they wonder why I am always at the dentist.

The short answer is that my teeth are weak. They don’t like to chew things that are hard or crunchy. And the back ones where I have the problems, are not the ones that are visible when I smile. And what problems are those? Large fillings that have weakened my teeth, which in turn have caused the teeth to crack, or chip, or break and have resulted in way too many root canals and/or caps. Back left molar, chipped when I carelessly tossed a handful of Halloween Nerds into my mouth and bit down.

But today I am just going in for a cleaning.

Which wouldn’t be a problem for a normal person. But I have already established that I am not normal.

I hate getting my teeth cleaned. I hate that pokey little metal thing that scrapes my teeth. It gives me the chills just thinking about it.

I am not sure if I have written about it before, but I hate the sound of metal scraping on anything. Metal spoon in a metal pan… could make my head explode. Or at the very least grab it frantically out of the stirrer’s hand and shriek, perhaps even use naughty words.

Fork and knife scraping against each other over a dinner plate. The first time I usually can refrain from saying or doing anything, but after that all bets are off. I might just reach across the table and grab the utensils out of your hand. And possibly stab you with the fork if you resist.

Anyway, wish me luck. I am hoping that I am not forced to stab the hygenist with the dental tools.

Posted by Chris @ 8:21 am  

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  1. Angi says:

    I’m the same way! My kids know better than to scrap their plates with their forks, drives me insane in a hurry.

  2. Heather says:

    OMG, that’s me! I hate hate hate metal scraping on anything. Dental cleanings are pure torture. I have yet to find a dentist who will comply with my wishes to be put to sleep for a cleaning :)

  3. Rebecca says:

    Good luck! My teeth are like chalk. Half of the ones in front are now fake, which bodes well for my denture-wearing future, I think.

  4. Andria says:

    Yikes! My dentist uses a waterpic like thing. It seems to work just as well with about half the pain and none of those horrible scraping sounds. Maybe you should ask around and see if any of the dentists in your area use something like that.

    I’ve actually been told that the water method is more effective.

    Best of luck!

  5. robiewankenobie says:

    four words: metal. ice. cream. bowls.

    *keels over*

  6. Nicki says:

    I so totally feel your pain. But my hang up is the air thing that the drill and other assorted tools are attached too. Makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I have to be heavily sedated for anything other than a cleaning. I’m talking laughing gas and a some nice valium. I hate it so much, that I can actually feel phantom pains in my mouth right now. Gotta go!!!!

  7. Carolie says:

    Not metal for me…it’s the dry wood thing. Seeing a kid lick a popsicle stick will put me right into a tailspin. Remember those little flat wooden paddles you got with an ice cream cup? I would cry and cry, because I wanted a real spoon–I was NOT going to put that wooden thing in my mouth and *shudder* lick it!

    Luckily, polished chopsticks don’t bother me–but the disposable kind? Forget it!

    Ok, now I have to walk around the room until I can get my shoulders down from around my ears. Ick, ick, ick, ick.

    My sympathies about the dentist. Hope it goes quickly!

  8. Karin says:

    I totally agree with you about the metal to metal crap!! I hate that. I also hate the sound of a fork scraping the plate…you know, for that very last bite…it kills me and also when someone puts the fork in their mouth and has to scrape it against their teeth to get it out instead of using their lips (which is what God gave them lips for).
    Yup, I would have to kill them also.

  9. Darren says:

    Ugh! I started twisting around uncontrollably in my seat upon reading the words “I hate that pokey little metal thing that scrapes my teeth.”

  10. cassie-b says:

    Good luck at the dentist. I don’t mind dentists, but doctors - another story. They can’t even take my blood pressure, I’m so nervous they can’t get a good reading.

  11. Annabelle says:

    I think going to the dentist is worse than going to the gyno.

  12. the womom says:

    “Fork and knife scraping against each other over a dinner plate.”
    I don’t like this either. I also really hate it when the meat is already cut but somepeopleinmyfamily keep sawing away like they’re going to cut through the plate.
    It’s usually a good time to go to my happy place.

  13. lilly says:

    Well your teeth might not be the greatest but your hearing is perfect. I think my extra acute hearing is why sounds like metal on metal and people clicking their fingernails and all sorts of little sounds can drive me crazy. It’s good to read that the metal sounds bother someone else too. My husband who is a part-time drummer and seems to have lost the upper range of his hearing thinks I just get annoyed way too easily but he should have excellent hearing for a bit and maybe he’d sympathize.

    My dentist also now uses a water shooting device instead of the
    metal scrapey thing, so maybe your dentist will have started using that…..

  14. Maliavale says:

    Ohh, I hate the sound of knife on dry plate. I have my shoulders up around my ears right now, going “Noo! Nooooo!” at the thought of the memory, and there are no knives or plates in sight. *shudder*

  15. Much More Than A Mom says:

    Carolie - I can’t believe I just read that someone else has my wood thing. Yuck!

    I’m fine at the dentist, but the popsicle stick makes every teeny hair on my body stand up. My husband CHEWS on them in my face just to bug me. Aaaaahhhhh!

  16. Elizabeth says:

    I have the popsicle stick thing too! And the worst for me is the sound of the lid of a styrofoam cooler squeaking as it rubs against the cooler. GAH!

    Good luck at the dentist. We have billboards all over town for “sedation dentistry”, have you thought about trying it?

  17. briana says:

    I don’t like the dentist now because of a bad experience with one back when we lived in St. Louis. He was a drunk, I’m quite sure of it. His nose was red, his breath smelled like alcohol (or some potent mouthwash), he was condescending, and then had the nerve to clean my teeth (yeah, he did it, not someone else!) without a face mask and ended up spitting in my mouth while he talked during my cleaning. What a loon. I was so irritated and disgusted by the time we left his office, that I didn’t go again to get my teeth cleaned for about 2 years after that! Eeek.
    So I’m sorry that you have to go… so often. Keep your chin up, dear.

  18. T in HD says:

    That post made the hair on my arms stand on end.

    I have no problems with the dentist since my teeth are fine but scraping metal….eeeeewwwww

  19. And Baby Makes Four says:

    Good thing you don’t have metal teeth.

  20. Meg's Mom says:

    Nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and headsets! That’s what my dentist uses (and I’m going this afternoon to get my real crown installed - the temporary fell off this morning as I was drinking my diet Coke). Find a dentist that graduated from the University of Kentucky - they teach their students that any pain associated with dental procedures will keep patients away so they’ll do anything to keep their patients pain free!

  21. Angie says:

    My mother had weak teeth, too. I used to call her yuk mouth, and she’d retort that she drank milkshakes to make sure I had strong teeth. Whatever she did, I’m grateful I didn’t inherit that condition. I know it must really stink. Good luck at the dentist today.

  22. InterstellarLass says:

    I just got chills imagining the “fork against teeth” scraping noise. The horror!

  23. Gigi says:

    I’m getting yet another crown put on this afternoon. Same sad story for this tooth: large filling, bit down on hard candy, cracked molar, crown, husband’s paycheck. The dentist said oh by the way the tooth beside it needs crowned too, but I decided not to sell a kidney this month.

  24. She-Ra says:

    I don’t mind the scraping. BUT… I can’t.stand.polishing. Ick. Makes me sick to my stomach just to think of it. The taste of the polish (mint is the least offensive but I hate them all) and the sound of the polisher and the vibrations on my teeth and heaven forbid my tongue touch the polish. Yuck. Yuck. YUCK!!! Good luck.

  25. Susan says:

    Oh God, you guys are killing me! Every hair on my arms is standing at attention! I didn’t realize I had so many hang-ups.

    I, too hate the metal tools at the dentist. UGH!

    I HATE HATE HATE those awful wooden popsicle sticks! Why can’t they be plastic instead?! OMG, to picture someone chewing on one - ack!!!!!!!! I have goosebumps all over again. Thanks a lot. LOL

    I have a Good Housekeeping COOKIES cookbook that I can barely stand to handle, even though it has awesome recipes in it! It’s something about the way the pages turn over the metal spiral binding. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! Torture, pure torture.

    Glad I’m not the only one with these hang-ups.

    And, uh, good luck at the dentist today, Chris! No stabbing hygienists allowed.

  26. peepnroosmom says:

    I hate the dentist. And She-Ra, the polisher gets me, too. I hate the feel of the little grains in my mouth. I have to rinse over and over to get the feeling out of my mouth. Yuk!
    Good luck, Chris.

  27. Kari says:

    I also HAAAAAAAAATE metal scraping on metal and all my friends think I am NUTS! They don’t get it - thank you for making me feel more normal!

  28. Susan says:

    Mmmmm, Nerds . . .

    My husband broke TWO back teeth this winter while eating a pitted date that still had the pit in it. He used some naughty words, particuarly when he saw the dentist’s bill.

  29. Jennine says:

    Is there such thing as a Sedation Denticologist? You know…a medical professional who could put me in a medically induced coma, scrape my teeth and my cervix in one simple appointment.

    I bet Oprah has a Denticologist.

  30. Becky says:

    OMG! we could be twins. I go to the dentist and tell them my mouth is falling apart and they laugh and tell me my teeth are beautiful, then I open my mouth and they agree with my statement. And metal scraping on metal makes me cringe just thinking about it. My husband thinks Im nuts, at least Im not nuts alone!

  31. cheeriobutt says:

    If there was a hell just for me it would be everybody scraping kinves on plates, nails on chalkboards, and grinding their teeth all at once, constantly! Yeah, you know the part where it says there will be wailing and knashing of teeth in the Bible when it describes hell? That’s me whenever I hear those sounds. I feel for you! AAAARGH!

  32. Amah says:

    You must be one of my children!!! I’ve ALWAYS had the hangups about things scraping. Chalk on chalkboard - noticed that about 3rd grade, tapping spoon on bowl !! ! scraping metal on ANYTHING!! The metal on my teeth not only hurts my ears - but the cold on my fillings hurt my teeth (all in my mind - I know). And the cold water !! ! ! !! I have the sense of smell to go along with my hearing so if I can’t smell it or hear it - it must not be happening!!

    I really love your posts. You write about such down-to-earth topics!!!

  33. Matt says:

    i just got back from the dentist and have had 3 fillings done. it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be, but it was rough. and since im in germany, rough is about as good as its going to get.

    i told my grey-moustached german zahnarzt that i dont know if i can have silver fillings, because ive got a serious problem with metal - i hate hate hate metal on metal, metal on teeth, metal on porcelain. i get extreme goosebumps and then freeze and cant stop shivering….its terrible…i got multiple shivers just reading your entry.

    hope your cleaning went well.

    from - another metal sufferer…