September 21, 2006
I always wanted a large family and siblings. A brother, a sister… I didn’t care which. And some cousins, and aunts, and uncles who would all get together for fourth of July picnics. Instead I got an abusive lunatic for a mother and no one else.
Ever since I was little I said I was going to have a lot of kids. Of course my idea of a lot was three or, maybe if I got really crazy, four! I wanted to be in one of those loud crazy big families where everyone seemed to talk at once and told stories is some kind of short hand language that would make them all laugh until they couldn’t speak. I would sit there laughing because they were laughing, but the entire time feeling that I didn’t fit in. And no matter how much I hung out there at that house, they weren’t my family.
And now I have that. There are times when I am overwhelmed by the everydayness of my life, just like mothers who have one child or twenty children. But most of the time when I watch them interact with each other, laugh with each other, retell stories with each other it makes me happy. It warms my heart like one of those Chicken Soup for the Soul stories. Happy in one of those living vicariously through my children sort of moments.
I love watching their relationships with each other develop and the love and kindness they share for each other. It is bittersweet for me sometimes, because as I watch them I realize what I missed out on. People ask me all the time how I made my children so kind and loving, especially to each other. There is no sibling rivalry or jealousy between my children at all. And really I have no magical answer. I do believe though that people who are shown love and respect, give love and respect to others in return.
Yesterday I was sitting outside on the front porch while my 1 yr old, 3 yr old, and 5 yr olds were playing in the driveway. The 5 yr old was riding his scooter and showing me all his “tricks”
After a little while of watching, Miles decided he wanted to ride on a scooter also, which obviously he can not yet manage. He would set the scooter upright and fall over, set the scooter upright and fall over, scream and kick the scooter, and try again. I tried to distract him with some other ride on toy options, but he wouldn’t budge.
My five year old rode over to him on his own scooter.
“C’mon sweetie, I’ll help you.” he said. And with that he helped him stand on the scooter and proceeded to push him on it. He pushed him up and down the driveway for what must have amounted to miles of walking and pushing.
And I ran and grabbed my camera in the middle of it. because isn’t that what love really is? Doing something for someone with the sole purpose of making that person happy with no gain for yourself.
Love is doing this:
And only getting this in return:
visit karen at chookooloonks and add your link to your contribution for Love Thursday.
You can read an explanation of what Love Thursday is here and find all the links, including the one to add your photo to the Flickr pool.
RSS feed for comments on this post.
The URI to TrackBack this entry is: