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might as well just move along

might as well just move along

September 26, 2006

I have nothing.

Picture me sitting here twiddling my thumbs, scratching my head, and letting out big long sighs.

“Do you have anything funny to say?” I ask the children. But they just look at me.

“C’mon, got anything for me? Anything at all?” I probe.

When the oil man came to deliver our liquid gold, I went outside to talk with him. Hoping there would be something interesting to write about the encounter. Or else it would spark some idea. But no. He is perfectly nice and gracious and he hopes that there is a mild winter also.

I came inside and got a pork loin roast into the crock pot following a recipe in a new cookbook I just got in the mail to review. But, on further inspection, like actually reading the recipe, I realized that I was missing some of the vital ingredients of the recipe. Like the oranges, onions, and dry mustard. I substituted in pineapples. Who knows how it will be. But, looking on the bright side at least I have dinner cooking already, so what if it is inedible. It’s not like most of the kids were going to eat it anyway. Might as well give them a reason to reject it.

I don’t have the best track record for this substituting ingredients, if you have been reading long enough to remember this post.

I should end this now before I tell you that it is 12:30 in the afternoon and I am still wearing pajama bottoms, a t-shirt and no bra, and my hair is all tied up in a pony tail that looks like I slept in it. My throat is sore from reading out loud all morning and not from yelling, “For crying out loud stop bickering over the duplos or I will open the front door, toss them out, and then run them over with my car for good measure.”

And yes I did go outside and talk to the oil man dressed like this. Me so sexy. So while I got no blog fodder out of the encounter, if he has a blog, I am sure he would write about me under the category of you can not believe how these housewives let themselves go.

Posted by Chris @ 12:38 pm  

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Comments

  1. ctmommie says:

    Your kitchen looks great so far! Plaster is awful! We have a 1950’s house with all plaster walls….not fun. Renovation always takes time and Im not one for waiting…..I give you a lot of credit!

  2. Sherri says:

    Snort, well considering you got “nothing” you made me laugh. I’ve been lurking, reading, laughing and sniffling along with your stories. Thank-you for your Seinfeld day!

  3. Chris says:

    Okay, you may have nothing for today’s post, but the other cooking one had me rolling!!!

  4. lipstickface says:

    I shower on Thursdays and Sundays.
    So I’m with ya.
    I went out to get the mail the other day, pajama’d - braless - hair going ever which way. One of my new neighbors was walking back from her mailbox, looked up happily to finally meet me, gave me the up down once over, then quickly burried her face in her mail and hurried back into her house.
    Yep. I’m scarin’ the neighbors. Cheers my sister!

  5. Trivial Mom says:

    ““Do you have anything funny to say?” I ask the children. But they just look at me.” Those darn children never cooperating.

    12:30 is nothing. I usually don’t get a shower until both girls are down for a nap . . . say 2:30ish? Oh well, I figure as long as I’m dressed and ready to go before my husband gets home from work I’m good.

    You make me laugh. And that’s all I could ever ask for from a blog.

  6. cassie-b says:

    Well, from nothing, you managed to be quite entertaining. Have a nice day. And maybe you should be dressed before you serve that pork roast.

    Cas
    you were out of onions? I don’t believe I’ve ever been out of onions. Oranges, yes, but I think oranges and pineapple are almost identical.

  7. Y says:

    You said Pork.

  8. robiewankenobie says:

    correct me if i’m wrong, but wouldn’t it be bad if the oil man sparked something that close to the, uh, oil?

  9. Cathy C says:

    I look like this on so many days…that’s why I have so many sets of pajamas…because they’re always in the wash since I wear them as regular clothes. The best is on weekend mornings when I go out to get the paper. I pull jeans on, but leave my pj top on, and just throw a sweat shirt on top of that. I’m so sneaky that way. I just hope I never get into an accident doing that. Now THAT would be embarrassing.

  10. momslo says:

    I’m wearing the exact same, at almost the exact same time-how 6 degress is that! ha

    and I don’t know what the hell I’m making for dinner;)

  11. Ani says:

    Funny I had a bit of a craving for blueberry pancakes…but no more. That was hilarious.

    As I sit here in my pajamas and scruffy socks. It’s only 2:20 p.m. after all.

  12. Beth says:

    I’m no expert, but I somehow think pineapple would be *great* with the roast, as the sugar would add flavor and the acid would tenderize the meat. Dang, now I’m hungry. I may just bust out my crockpot… ;^)

  13. Nicki says:

    still laughing after reading about the healthy pancake substitute. So what your telling me is that if I put syrup on it my kids might actually eat the food put in front of them? that’s priceless information

  14. Erika says:

    pineapples instead of oranges- free, kids have nothing funny to say, somewhat unusual, the visual of chris in her pajamas and talking to the oil man, priceless :D

    Even when there is nothing ‘good’ to write about you make me laugh :)

  15. bella says:

    Isn’t the life of the common urban housewife just rife with envious moments!?

    (Sorry… empathizing as I was in my ‘jammies til nearly 11, and am sitting here blog-post-less at 12:30, as well!)

    But, I did smile (misery loves company??), so that’s a good start!

    Thanks!

  16. InterstellarLass says:

    Sounds like a pretty good day to me!

  17. Jen says:

    More 6 degrees…I came here (dressed, could have used a shower but skipped it in the interests of getting out of the house by noon) just after googling “pork crock pot.” insert twilight zone music.

    So, what’s the recipe? I found one with cranberries that sounded okay. Was hoping for one with apples, since I have a bunch.

  18. peepnroosmom says:

    Did you sneak in my house and see me at 12:30 still in my pajamas. I figure if I’m dressed at least by lunch, then I’m OK.
    That was a great visual of you, sadly it was the same way I looked.

  19. Jen says:

    I sleep in things that vaguely look like regular clothes, that way I can wear them longer into the morning each day. I generally try to be dressed in “real clothes” by the time I am making lunch, but some days just get away from me…..or maybe I just want to get away from them.

  20. eko says:

    LOL My husband too often asks: “Are those your street clothes or your bed clothes?”
    Of course I always get indignant that he doesn’t KNOW by now! ;-)

    I am the a+ loser at substitutes, I just do not do it well. I mean I can make up a recipe, but if given me a written recipe and then don’t have half the ingredients - I give up.

  21. CityMama says:

    Sigh. I love wearing my pj’s all day and then quickly showering (maybe) and changing before the husband gets home.

    I keep a jacket by the front door to throw over my t-shirt when I have to answer it braless. Ding-dong! UPS! *throw on jacket* Hello!

  22. ephelba says:

    It’s such a relief to hear that you were in your pjs. I’d always imagined you had 7 kids and yet by noon you’d be toodling around the house blogging and drinking coffee, having already dressed all of them, fed all of them, cleaned the house and put yourself together too. I would look at my house and say, Jeez, I’ve only got two and I can’t manage to brush my teeth. It makes me feel better about myself knowing I’m not the only one.

  23. Heather says:

    Chris,

    Even your days of nothings, are somethings! I dont think there is such a thing of you having NOTHING.. :)

  24. liz says:

    Your nothings are at least funnier than most of my somethings.

  25. Playdate Susan says:

    Let’s see, I showered and got dressed today but met my husband at the door with a glass of wine and a cheery, “I hope you had a good lunch because I don’t know what’s for dinner!”

    I think we had toast.

  26. wordgirl says:

    In the pajamas until noon? How come I’m the last to know that this is a bad thing?

  27. Stephanie says:

    So funny! I do that with recipes all the time, with usually disastrous results. I’m currently trying out bread and biscuit making, and didn’t have regular salt. May I say that sea salt really disrupts the flavor of sweet potato biscuits? And that using your child’s whole milk in place of skim…well, there’s a reason they say skim?

    I had a shower, but acted so ditzy that our oil guy (who came yesterday) had a few good laughs at my mindlessness (he was kind about it, but I still he went back to the company with stories about the pregnant lady who lost all three of her handheld phones and had to converse on speakerphone as well as was too lazy to change the batteries in the gate and had to…ironically…huff and puff not so lazily down the hill to let him in and out. While carrying a toddler.)

    Boy, that was a long comment, wasn’t it? See what happens when you post about nothing? We all identify.

  28. CaliforniaGrammy says:

    Thanks for the reminder of the blueberry pancake post. I remember reading that and laughed even harder this time!

  29. meredith says:

    I very much enjoyed your nothing post. Maybe because most of us are out there living life full of days just about like this.

  30. Brigitte says:

    Once even made it out to the local Wal-muerte in sweats and such . . after all, it’s where all the white trash shops, and I’m not so far off - might as well look the part!

  31. Katie says:

    You mean we’re suppose to get dressed? I must have missed that part in the SAHM book.

  32. jody2ms says:

    The only reason I showered this morning is because I am in “work mode” and my body doesn’t comprehend days off….it is still programmed to get up at the ungodly hour of 5:30.

    Most days I shower in the evening to wash off a day of various labor related goo, and just throw my hair in a pony in the a.m. and jump into some shorts that Bill claims are the most unflattering shorts on the planet and because he said that, I wear them more).

    Rural living has done this to us. I think we have gone hick, girl.

  33. Jen says:

    I had company over the other day and forgot that I was wearing my pajama bottoms and slippers when I answered the door. It probably wouldn’t have been that embarrassing had I not been donning the “dogs wearing Santa hats” Christmas jammies… At 3pm.

  34. Ruth H says:

    A sign of a good cook is that she looks at a recipe and then uses what she has on hand. My mother would use whatever juice was in the fridge for her pot roasts, so naturally I do the same, and I AM a good cook. I just don’t do it as much any more. Also, I always cook way too much so I have plenty of meals in the freezer. I’ll bet your kids think you are the best cook EVER!

  35. Kristi says:

    Out of nothing, you made quite a post!

  36. Christina says:

    Loved the blueberry pancakes post - that is LOL funny!