thoughts from the back of my mind
October 1, 2006
Things I am thinking I should invent:
1) A device that keeps the chairs tethered to our kitchen table. So that a) my son can’t drag them all over the entire house getting into things that are purposefully out of his reach,or b) I don’t have to put them all up on top of the table so that the house looks like a bunch of elementary school children went home for the night.
Though I should probably add that my son has now learned how to hoist himself up onto the table and will just shove all the chairs off onto the floor. Nothing like the sound of 6 chairs crashing to the tile floor to send you running into the room shortly before you collapse to the ground clutching your chest.
2) At night I like to lay in bed and read before going to sleep. It is cold in my house during the winter months which isn’t much of a problem at night since I have warm pajamas, flannel sheets, a down comforter, and a husband who throws off as much heat as a furnace. But when I lounge in bed reading my upper body is out from under the covers and my arms and shoulders get cold. It is a huge problem in my life. Honestly, I complain about it every single night and my husband has come up with “helpful” ideas like wear gloves to bed, don’t read, and shut the hell up already.
The other night I was thinking that they should make bed covers with slits, like big button holes that you could put your hands through to hold your book. That way you could have the covers pulled all the way up to your chin, yet still have your hands available outside of the covers for holding the book and turning the pages.
Today I took my 5 and 7 yr olds to the grocery store with me to pick up a few one hundred dollar cans of kidney beans for chili that I was making for dinner tonight. They saw a stuffed animal display and we began looking through them, because my children do not think a person can own enough stuffed animals.
Me: Oh look at this one! What a cute octopus!
Child: Uh, mom, that is a squid.
Me: Oh. But it is cute isn’t it? Look at this one! What a cute ferret!
Child: Yes, it is cute. But that is a sea otter.
Me: Oh. Oooo look at this one! It’s a leopard! Roar.
Child: It is a cute tiger.
Thus concludes the educational part of this post with is meant to reassure everyone that I am in fact qualified to teach my own children.
I bought new sneakers this weekend, which means I no longer have an excuse not to exercise. This pains me greatly.
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