from the reject pile
October 11, 2006
We have been having the costume discussion for a few weeks now at our house. As I type this, everyone has a costume except for my 11 yr old son, who is indecisive and at that age where conformity is all the rage.
A family that costumes together….
I. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
I would of course be Snow White and the children could all dress as dwarves.
11 yr old son: That is soooooo lame.
Me: No it isn’t. It would so fun. And cute.
11 yr old: cute? did you say cute?
Me (trying to recover from obviously having lost my mind and having dared to utter the “c” word): I bet everyone else would like it.
10 yr old: No, we wouldn’t.
9 yr old (pointing to his 5 yr old brother): He can be Stupid.
10 yr old: His name is Dopey, not Stupid, and obviously you should be him.
9yr old: Well you should be Stinky.
10 yr old: There isn’t a Stinky, DOPEY.
Me: Okay, enough. Moving on….
II. Fruit of the Loom
Me: Hey, I have an idea…what about the Fruit of the Loom fruit!
11 yr old: the what?
Me: the underwear guys.
11 yr old: underwear?
Me: C’mon, and one of you can wear just your underwear for a costume.
III. Cruella Deville and the puppies
Me: Oh my God , what do you think of that idea?
All of them, with every ounce of disdainful scorn they can muster: Puppies?!?!
From their reaction you would have thought I suggested they dress up like piles of puppy shit. Hmmmm….
Also proposed and rejected in this family theme category:
Mary and her little lambs
Wizard of Oz
Alice in Wonderland
Little Mermaid theme as suggested by my 3yr old daughter (mer-men are NOT cool, and definitely NOT Halloween costume worthy.)
So, once again there will be no family halloween costume theme. And I shook my head at them all and loudly asked, “Why can’t I ever get my way??”
2. It was the 70’s our parents were probably doing drugs…
Me: Daddy used to be a hobo every other year. Want to be a hobo?
11 yr old: What is a hobo?
Me: You know, like a vagabond…
11 yr old (blank stare)…
Me: a transient…
11 yr old(blank stare)…
Me: a homeless person
11 yr old (again with the scornful disdain): He dressed up like a homeless person?
Me: Uh yeah. It was the 70’s there was no such thing as being politically correct.
11 yr old: Obviously.
Me: you know what else Daddy was one year.
11 yr old: a cripple? a blind person?
Me: Not that I know of… A male nurse. It was the height of a risque costume dressing up as a nurse. So funny.
11 yr old: Why? Why would that even be funny?
Me: It just was.
11 yr old: Joe’s dad is a nurse.
Me: Yeah I know.
11 yr old: I don’t get it.
Me: (heavy sigh) It’s generational. I don’t get tap dancing in movies, but grandma assures me they were the good old days.
3.Other random ideas I threw out to him that were summarily rejected:
Any character from a nursery rhyme
Any animal, both living and extinct
Quaker Oats guy
Disgruntled youth, which has the benefit of needing no special costume at all
4. Favorite costume suggested by a sibling:
5yr old: I know. How about a human being.
Unfortunately, that might be too much of a stretch for an 11 yr old.
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