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if you have anything breakable, keep it away from me

if you have anything breakable, keep it away from me

October 30, 2006

Three things I use have broken in my house in the past week. Do these things happen in threes? Or is that just dead celebrities? In any event I am begining to take it personally.

Last week it was the dryer.

Now the N key on my computer is broken. I have to push it really hard to make the letter show up. This means that I have to keep going back and adding it in. Do you know how popular the letter N is? I had to do it seven times in the past two sentences alone. Why couldn’t it be the Q that broke? I could avoid words like queen, quake and quagmire much more easily than say the word “and”.

This morning I sat down to begin my morning routine* of running on my treadmill. I put on my new sneakers and pulled the laces. And one of the eyelets that the shoelace runs through BROKE. These are brand new sneakers, and looking at the soles of them I realized I have only ever worn them inside on my treadmill.

I am taking it as a sign from god that exercise is the tool of the devil and should be avoided.

So I think I should take it easy today, relax on the couch, and test the Halloween candy for freshness. And most of all avoid touching the children, lest I break one of them.

*Routine meaning doing something twice over the course of the past four weeks or so.

Posted by Chris @ 8:51 am  

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  1. rachel says:

    this is where copy/paste comes in wonderfully. I use it whenever a letter is stuck. As well as a large vocabulary - children = kids, littles, short people, interrupters, little loves, parasites, sweeties, and I’m sure there are others - my favorite (demon spawn) has too many Ns.

    I have a great vocabulary, but I can’t spell for crap, so I substitute words I know how to spell for the ones I don’t.

    Our bad things tend to happen in 3s. or at least groups of 3s.

  2. Nicki says:

    If the end key is broken, that just means it’s time for a new keyboard. Too much effort causes too much stress. Especially since you don’t have shoes to run on the treadmill with to help relieve stress. It really sounds as if you need a couch, some chocolate, and a big glass of wine/martini/alcohol. That should take care of it all.

  3. Nicki says:

    meant to type “n” not end….sorry

  4. Lilly says:

    If it’s not too much trouble for a broken eyelet, send those sneakers back for a new pair. I just had a similar experience and they gave me a choice of lots of nice new sneakers to replace the bad ones I turned in.

  5. Katie says:

    Good plan, I’ll join you on the couch. I have tootsie rolls and mini butterfingers.

  6. Katja says:

    I miss all that Halloween Candy… Here, all the shops are already in full christmas swing and sell Lebkuchen and chocolates and all that stuff. Way too early, but we are just not having the Halloween Candy overflow in between (and we do not have Thanksgiving either…)

  7. owlhaven says:

    Your exercise routine is mine exactly, I realized after reading. Here I was feeling guilty about my exercise habits when I actually have an honest-to-goodness ‘routine’ and didn’t realize it! You’ve taken away all my guilt.

    Now I’m off to test Reese’s PB cups for freshness, also per your suggestion. If I (heaven forbid) need new pants by January, wanna come shopping with me?

    Mary, mom to many

  8. Cathy C says:

    God has told me the exact same thing about exercise! I love your plan of testing the Halloween candy; you are a caring mother. You should also probably test it tomorrow and the next day.

  9. Jonathon says:

    I think whatever excuse you can find to chill out on the couch is an awesome one.

    I need more days like that.

  10. Novaks8 says:

    You sound like me!

    Something breaks here every week.

    My washer is not acting right and I HATE to tell my husband.

    But I do use the thing more than most people drive their cars!
    Figure every single day with at least 3 loads a day and we have had it for several years now.

  11. bluepaintred says:

    if you were a good mother AT ALL, you would DEFINATLY test the candy for children! You must love them that much at least!!

  12. Allie says:

    Not that I want to ruin your day of resting. But have you tried removing the N key from your keyboard and making sure it’s clean underneath it? Something might be making the letter not make contact. Just a suggestion before you start trying to find a keyboard online.

  13. crunchy carpets says:

    Hey! your routine is the same as mine!!!

    hee hee….

    Adam and I have been threatened by pain of death or owie arm twisting to stay away from the candy.

  14. InterstellarLass says:

    Test the candy for freshness…HA HA HA!

  15. Christina says:

    You should definately make sure that the candy is suitable for consumption; what if your kids ate stale candy??? The horror!

  16. Julie Q. says:

    The part about not touching your kids lest you break them cracks me up. If your kids are anything like mine, they do a fine job of breaking themselves on a regular basis. Or should I say “routinely” since some breakage or stitchage seems to happen about twice every four weeks or so.

  17. ben says:

    No sex, either. Hate to break that.


  18. Meg says:

    Why don’t you type up your whole post for tomorrow, but leave out any words that include “n”s and just leave blanks and then I’ll comment and fill it it with “n” words? Like Mad Libs but I can only use words that have the letter “n” somewhere in them…

  19. halloweenlover says:

    I’m dying laughing about Ben! I bet Rob will love that.

  20. Lauren says:

    You could use the ampersand. But you couldn’t type ampersand. That’s a dilemma right there.

  21. Contrary says:

    Is it possible that something is simply stuck under the N key? Maybe you could just pop it out and have a look.

    I may or may not have had to dig a crumb out from under my D key a few weeks ago.

  22. T in HD says:

    No, no Halloween candy here, but yes, lots of Lebkuchen, Adventskalendar and even chocolate St. Nikoläuse. Shopping with the kids is just not fun when all this stuff is out! What am I saying? Shopping with the kids is never fun.

  23. Ashley says:

    Yes they do come in threes. A few weeks ago I had the coffee pot, microwave and blender brake all in two days. Poor kids. I didn’t have coffee or the ability to make margaritas, and I couldn’t cook…haha!

  24. Lulu says:

    Switch it with the Q. Should work.

  25. The Wooden Porch says:

    LOL!! The number “1″ on my parent’s phone is broke (oddly enough on ALL THEIR CORDLESS PHONES!) it’s so annoying.

  26. Cami says:

    So, speaking of Halloween Candy …….
    what did you decide to dress up the kidlets
    for Halloween?

    I still chuckle over the Snow White and the seven “kids who will NOT be Dopey”
    Can’t you just imagine? All dressed up with shirts that say, I’m not Dopey, He is!”


  27. Maddy says:

    OOOOW very spooky.

  28. Deb says:

    Coming in late… but if your key is still doing this, there’s probably something under it, getting in the way. Maybe a crumb or two. Not that I’d know, of course, because I never eat at the keyboard. Oh no, not me.

    It’s no good. I can’t lie. The last time I cleaned my keyboard, I turned it upside-down and blew on it and was momentarily blinded by the crud that fell out. Anyway. Try it on yours. But wear sunglasses.