becoming a mother
November 9, 2006
Twelve years ago tonight I went to bed pregnant. It was two weeks before my due date.
I didn’t know it then, but it was my last day not a mother. A day that is only significant in retrospect. A day I spent at the mall buying clothes that seemed impossibly small from the Baby Gap.
Twelve years ago in the early morning hours before dawn my water broke while I lay in bed. I paced back and forth down the long hallway in my apartment waiting for the doctor to call me back. The contractions came one right after the other, and I focused on the tiny carseat sitting by the front door. Twelve years ago I became a mother.
Time has passed in the blink of an eye, and yet I have a hard time remembering life before this day. It seems like an eternity ago.
I look at the photo and think how young I was, how scared, how completely clueless I felt in this new role. And I look at the white couch I am sitting on, evidence of all these things, that I bought while I was pregnant. And I laugh.
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Look at his teeny FEET! Oh my.
And good lord, were you like 12?
November 9th, 2006 at 10:48 pmI wass going to ask the same thing. How old were you? You must only be 25 yrs old, now.
November 9th, 2006 at 10:49 pmUm, the shoes? I was looking for more shoes.
November 9th, 2006 at 11:12 pmJust kidding, but you do look like a 12 year old. Man, it must be nice not to age at all in twelve years.
Happy Birthday to the boy.
That’s really quite a sweet picture. Life is never the same once your the mom, that’s for sure.
November 9th, 2006 at 11:22 pmYou bought a white couch while you were pregnant! Hahahahahahahaha! That is funny! Isn’t it strange how naive we all are about the realities of motherhood clear up until the day our first child is born?
November 9th, 2006 at 11:43 pmAww, man. That was super sweet. And you do look young — like … my age!
November 9th, 2006 at 11:55 pmOh my gosh, you are a baby in that picture! Course in real life, you look extremely young too, but man, the picture is blowing me AWAY.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:03 amxoxo
What a lovely picture of you - I hardly noticed there was a baby in the picture too!
November 10th, 2006 at 12:04 amI noticed the baby. Just so you know.
But your luxurious hair? Green, seething jealousy coming from me right now. Also, that you are one phenomenally cool lady/girl/chicky/hot momma.
You know the drill. I adore you way too much.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:46 amHappy birthday to your “baby” boy! And can I just say that you look ALMOST EXACTLY the same, you delightful little sparrow robot, you.
(Although, today, you would not buy a white couch. You would buy new shoes.)
November 10th, 2006 at 12:50 amYou are beautiful. Oh, and so is the baby, of course.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:53 amHappy birthday to your oldest son.
And, dang! You look GORGEOUS for a lady who just delivered a baby! Like movie-star gorgeous.
November 10th, 2006 at 1:02 amChris, you are BREATHTAKING in this photo!
Oh - and while you may have bought an impractical white couch, I see you have a very practical scrunchy on your wrist for when all that hair gets in the way.
November 10th, 2006 at 1:05 amHappy Mother’s Day!
November 10th, 2006 at 1:39 amHee a white couch. Yeah.
All I can remember about my last moments of NOT being a mother (whilst pregnant) was going to see Spiderman with my hubs and a friend and his boyfriend and the HOUR we all spent in the line up.
I don’t know why.
November 10th, 2006 at 1:50 amWow, you look awesome on your white couch! Happy Birthday to your baby
November 10th, 2006 at 2:35 amOK, like everyone else, I looked at this photo and thought, “Oh, the Jr. High babysitter sure looks cute”
More importantly, a very Happy Birthday to your oldest child, or, as my younger sister calls it, “The One Mom Loves More”.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:36 amI love that picture of you and your son. You are so beautiful and the look on your face is like you you’re not sure if you want to smile or not.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:57 amand OMG I forgot to wish your son a happy 12th birthday!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
November 10th, 2006 at 2:58 amI can’t get over your hair, it looks amazing. Please tell me your hair doesn’t look that amazing anymore or I may have to stop loving you so much.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:58 amYou do look a tad dazed in that photo . . . and perhaps still frequently feel that way! Little did the young(er) Chris know what she was in for.
November 10th, 2006 at 7:29 amA white couch!! I’ve always insisted that the hormone spike during pregnancy makes us stupid and now I have verifiable data to prove it…(What? You expect me to incriminate myself with all of my random acts of stupidity during all of my pregnancies?) No wonder I like you so much!
November 10th, 2006 at 8:42 amYou look beautiful in that picture and I’m sure you’ve only grown more lovely in the twelve years of loving that boy. Happy Birthday, Oldest Son!!
Happy Brithday to Son #1!
And congrats on being a Mother you are doing a fabulous job and your children are your proof!
November 10th, 2006 at 8:49 amA white couch! Bwahahahhah! How long did it take you to realise that was a BAD idea?! My friends have just had their first baby, and realised the ridiculousness of their 20-step walk-up flat carpetted in white, with cream furniture. Hahahahha.
But if someone had told you it didn’t make sense at the time, would you have listened?
No, don’t think so
So - can we have a post with ‘20 things I have learnt since becoming a mother’?
Please? 
November 10th, 2006 at 9:14 amIsn’t it amazing how mature you thought you were before you had kids? I laugh at myself constantly.
November 10th, 2006 at 9:23 amHappy Birthday to your son, and Happy Mother’s Day to you.
Chris,
You look so young!!! And I did not only the white sofa, but white carpet too—how absolutely clueless were we????
November 10th, 2006 at 9:43 amHappy birthday Son #1.
To echo everyone else, you look so young there! not that you don’t look young now, of course. I bet you’d get carded if you tried to buy cigarettes.
LOL on the white couch. My mom asked me yesterday if I’d like a beige slipcover or a subtle plaid. I’m all about hiding the stains in patterns. No beige, cream, or white!
November 10th, 2006 at 9:45 amHappy Birthday Little Man!
And I won’t say how young you look, except that you do.
November 10th, 2006 at 10:06 amHappy Birthday to you and your son. You both became new people that day!
November 10th, 2006 at 10:24 amAwww! Happy Birthday to your son. And your hair! And your cheeks!
November 10th, 2006 at 10:40 amHa! Look at you! You look SO different!
Well, congratulations to everyone involved.
November 10th, 2006 at 10:56 amHappy birthday to your son. What were you 12 when you gave birth?
November 10th, 2006 at 11:01 amYou look mormon…and I say that in the fresh faced pure beauty type of way.
November 10th, 2006 at 11:14 amMy eldest just turned 13 so I totally can relate to what you wrote!
November 10th, 2006 at 11:15 amWhat a great picture. You have the most gorgeous hair!
Life passes so fast. Next year we will be mothers of teenages. Gah!
November 10th, 2006 at 11:17 amOh man, you didn’t know not to make major purchases while pregnant either… I bought a vibrating chair while pregnant with the first one. Yes, a vibrating chair.
Sorry, but I have to agree with the rest. You look 12 in the picture. LOL!
November 10th, 2006 at 12:00 pmBeautiful! You, the baby AND the couch!
November 10th, 2006 at 12:08 pmWhat a beautiful picture. Happy birthday to your “baby.”
November 10th, 2006 at 12:09 pmHappy belated birthday to the boy!
Happy mother’s day to you.
I was lmao at the white couch. My boys are finally getting old enough that we can get rid of the big crusty couch and get a brand new adult couch.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:21 pmHappy birthday to your 12 year old! I wonder how long the white furniture remained that color.
Cas
November 10th, 2006 at 12:32 pmYou want to hear the funniest thing about the photo? I hated it 12 years ago because I thought I looked so fat. Now I look at it and wish I looked like that still.
And sadly no, my hair doesn’t look like that anymore. Also I no longer wear scrunchies on my arm like jewelry.
This was the day I came home from the hospital and I was dazed, tired, and stiched up in places where stitches should never go.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:50 pmYou thought you looked FAT?!?! You were a wee little pixie in that photo! And I cannot believe that is your sweet son.
Happy Birthday to him! And Happy Becoming a Mother Day to you!
Although I must tell you that I do not like stories wherein babies come early. 45 days to go. 45 days to go. And not one day sooner, damnit.
November 10th, 2006 at 12:55 pmMy baby turned 45 this year. The amazing thing about being a mother is that even though the kids grow up, do well, start their own families, etc. you NEVER stop being their mother and it is still wonderful. 12 years ago a great adventure started and it won’t end for one hundred more. Happy Birthday to #1 child, and many more birthdays for all!
November 10th, 2006 at 12:57 pmAs I read the post I went from teary eyes to laughing out loud…happy B-day for son#1, and coungratulations on a great mommy-journey!
November 10th, 2006 at 1:07 pmI heard once that your first born’s birthday is your REAL Mother’s Day.
November 10th, 2006 at 1:43 pmSooo….HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
Happy Birthday S! I hope he has a great day! And that is a great picture of you, and I only know you are not 12 because I looked about 12 when I was 24 too, LOL. I hated it then, but whew, the years caught up with me in the last five years! I’ll be hitting 40 looking more like it hit me.
November 10th, 2006 at 2:24 pmYou weren’t 12 … you’re at least 13 in that picture ; )
I hope your son has a wonderful 12th birthday!
November 10th, 2006 at 3:24 pmhappy birthday little (big) man!! And as everyone else has pointed out, you look young and great!! I look about 15 NOW so I can relate… LOL
November 10th, 2006 at 4:13 pmI remember my last day before mommyhood too. We really didn’t know what we were missing. Kids are wonderful.
November 10th, 2006 at 4:23 pmHappy Birthday big guy.
November 10th, 2006 at 5:24 pmMine is about to be 12. I can hardly remember myself before having him. What a difference 12 years makes.
What comes immediately to mind is… uh… mmm… well, I forget. I think something about memory cells leaving with each child born or something like that… (our oldest is ten- youngest 9 months with 6 in between)
November 10th, 2006 at 7:37 pm12 is really really big. Wow. But then, I can’t believe that you have seven kids and your oldest is ONLY twelve. You are a wonderwoman. Happy birthday to your son! (And you look so sweet in that picture that I can hardly stand it. You’re like a little shell-shocked girl.)
November 10th, 2006 at 9:10 pmHappy Birthday son #1! The picture is so sweet.
November 10th, 2006 at 9:13 pmOh! GREAT photo — love the look on your face, his tiny feet, and that WHITE couch! Oh to look so young again!
November 10th, 2006 at 9:13 pmYou are gut-wrenchingly gorgeous. And what a beautifully written post! Happy Birthday to your boy. You’re such an awesome mom (and friend).
November 10th, 2006 at 10:30 pmEveryone has said it but I am compelled to chime in. You are gorgeous and quite fetching with the exposed shoulder.
Happy 12th birthday to your boy. Now our eldests’ are even. 
November 11th, 2006 at 1:40 amOh Chris, you lucky, lucky girl. You are EVEN PRETTIER NOW! And you were very pretty then!
I am thinking of these moments a lot right now, with my second (and probably last) baby kicking in my tummy.
November 11th, 2006 at 10:10 amA white couch bought during pregnancy does seem like the perfect way to encapsulate all that is naive about pre-motherhood, lol.
Happy 12th birthday to DS #1!
November 11th, 2006 at 1:10 pmI got a white couch (used to us) when my first was not even 2yo! WHAT was I thinking (or not…)
Happy Birthday to your Dear #1 son, and Happy Birthing Day to you - you look lovely if not a bit stunned in the picture!
November 11th, 2006 at 5:59 pmOh my oldest just turned 12 too!
November 11th, 2006 at 10:20 pmHappy b-day to yours and here’s to life as a mom, was there any other life?
great picture!!!
November 11th, 2006 at 10:28 pmI’m struck by how much your youngest little boy now looks like you from that picture.
November 11th, 2006 at 11:16 pmYour hair is done. And you are wearing makeup. And you look beautiful!
I swear god you must be bionic or something. How? How do you do it???
November 11th, 2006 at 11:28 pmI know just what you mean. So much so that I’m a little teary. Thanks for a lovely post.
November 12th, 2006 at 11:49 amNovember babies are the best. I’m crying. Happy Motherhood to you. And happy birthday to some great 12 year old.
November 12th, 2006 at 5:02 pmSo…you have ALWAYS been a babe. I see how it is! No fair.
Happy birthday to the oldest!
November 12th, 2006 at 6:28 pmHow adorable and young you both look! (And you still look 12, my dear.) I want a picture of the 2 of you now so the rest of us can say, “How can she still look SO YOUNG and SO RESTED as she did 12 years ago! lol
Happy birthday to the oldest. (Has he hit the teen angst yet?)
November 13th, 2006 at 12:09 amHappy birthday to your firstborn and happy 12th mom anniversary to you!
That’s a gorgeous photo
(and if it makes you feel better, I have off-white slipcovers on my sofas. Thank God they can be washed is all I have to say about that.)
November 13th, 2006 at 2:33 amYou do still look exactly like that. When I met you, I thought you’d sent one of your kids in your place to Blogher.
November 14th, 2006 at 12:41 amstill catching up; Happy Belated Birthday to your big guy!
What a sweet photo
November 29th, 2006 at 7:03 pmhi my name is karena im becoming a young mother im 18 years old and im 10weeks pregnet.. im so scared of what type of mother i am goin to be..im so young yet i have decided that i will keep this baby becasue knowing ur pregnet and feeling everything about how life would be with my baby and knowing that i love she or he already…my main problem is telling my mother.. i haven’t told my mother that im pregnet becuase i am scared of her resopnce and i am scared of her feeling hurt or disapponment in me…Im Even scared of what my family would think of me and the way they would treat me or even talk about me behind my back..I am one to care about what people think of me i dont like making any bad inpression when coming to my family..they one’s told me “I better not be stupid and get pregnet young dont be a sutistic karena finish school become something”.. Its like i here it over and over and it wont go away it clouds up my inner jugdement and it makes me scared of alot thing…I tryed so hard to become something that im not and yea there was time i rebelde but who dosent everyone tends to get tired of constant presser…Here i am venting to stranger hoping i at least feel much better… I hope i can relate to your story….
December 7th, 2006 at 6:13 pmHey
December 13th, 2006 at 12:31 amCongrats on your baby boy. Well you look so young. Im pregent to but Im 13 yrs old. Im very scared but I’ll live through it right? Anyway Congrats on being a mom. (Is it hard?)