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you might want to wear a mask and disinfect your computer after reading this

you might want to wear a mask and disinfect your computer after reading this

November 20, 2006

(update with photo below)

What to say about my computer… other than today I turned it on and miraculously the screen was working. Why? Why would it do that? Does it want me to profess my love for it like I was forced to do with the dryer? Doesn’t it know I love it? My 7 yr old said it probably wanted a break since I use it all the time, that it was tired. The anthropomorphism made me laugh because those are precisely the kind of things I say to them when one of their toys dies and I don’t want them to be upset.

But I think my computer has been unfaithful and picked up a virus or something somewhere. It is running so painfully slow and crazy. It must have the computer version of syphillis. It feels like I am using dial up. Yes, that is how bad it is.

I do have antivirus software running and some spyware/adware thing. And they aren’t picking up anything.

I do have other things to write about other than my computer. The fact that my fifth son turned six years old. Or that my 10.5 yr old called a girl today for the first time (Holy Hell….why does he need to grow up?) and spoke to her on the phone for 3 minutes and 27 seconds (yes, he timed the phone call). Christmas card photos to share. Or how about the fact that my vacuum BROKE too.

Don’t you want to invite me over?

Shield your eyes. Don’t look this way. Save yourself, your appliances, and your electronics.

Oh holy hell, the remote control to my television is next to me and I leaned on it. Now it isn’t working. It is one of those universal remotes and I have to plug some sort of secret code into it to make it work. Of course I don’t know the top secret code. Between having to get up and change the tv channel manually and the huge monitor still sitting in here on the table I feel like I am back in the 1980’s. All I need is my neon colored, off the shoulder, RELAX shirt, with my rolled up tapered leg jeans, and scrunched socks to complete the visual.

Just so you can appreciate how pathetic I was last night:

NoBloShoeMo: Day 17

Posted by Chris @ 9:59 pm  

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  1. Lilly says:

    Yesterday when things were running dialup slow here, sbcglobal told me to shut down everything and shut off the modem for a couple of minutes and restart. It’s amazing but it sped things up considerably after I did that!
    Did your 10.5 yr old son call a girl as, you know, a GIRL! My son is 10.25 and the idea of girl-calls being just around the corner made my eyes pop wide open.

  2. Daisy says:

    What, no legwarmers? I still own a pair. Tried to give them to my college daughter, telling her that they were great for dorm comfort.

  3. Annika says:

    Scrunched sock?! Don’t let Susan see them.

  4. Allanna says:

    So my prayers for your laptop worked?!?
    Sorry that I didn’t pray for everything else mechanical/electrical/technological in your house.

    *sending supergood thoughts for your vacuum and everything else. Especially your internet connection.*

  5. Karen Rani says:

    When things die here, we flush ‘em. I LOVE your last part about the 1980’s. No guff. (I don’t know if you said No Guff as a kid, but my brother and I sure did and we got soap in the mouth for it too.)

  6. Shelly says:

    There is probably some website you can google to get your super secret code for your TV…

  7. Kristin says:

    My Mac PowerBook was all a-twitter, so I took it into the Apple store where the fellow behind the counter promptly told me my computer was, “A whore… so dirty.”

  8. Playdate Susan says:

    I had the most gigantic fashion flashback when you described that outfit. Sheesh.

    No socks! (Imagine me sounding like Edna from The Incredibles)

  9. Chris says:

    But SUSAN, us people who live in cold places have to wear socks sometimes. And toe socks don’t count as real socks.

  10. Mary Tsao says:

    I want to see holiday card photos!! Please.

  11. Karen says:

    Cees read your entry and told me that I should NOT invite you into our house anymore…


  12. InterstellarLass says:

    I’m applying antiseptic gel as I type. And I’m giving my computer a once-over with the canned air. Blow away all those germs.

    Sounds like you’re LIVING Murphy’s Law!

  13. meredith says:

    Your energy flow must be off, maybe you could try magnetic therapy.

    I am just kidding :)

  14. Cathy C says:

    You do have nice shoes on, though.

  15. Sara says:

    Snorted diet coke through my nose at the neon Relax shirt reference. Was your hair crimped an in a ponytail on the side of your head too?

  16. peepnroosmom says:

    Were you wearing one glove Michael Jackson-style, too?
    I had a pair of leg warmers back then and wore them, too. Can you believe they are back in style. I saw a display of the things at Target the other night.

  17. nicki says:

    We saw the ultimate 80’s outfit last night in the mall at
    Forever 21. It was black leggings, a tight red shirt dress (short mini skirt level), with a white sweeter over the top. I about died laughing, then this morning I read your post. Don’t the fashion people remember the 80’s? I really don’t want to relive it or rewatch it!!

  18. Miss Peach says:

    Sometimes I think it’s Dell, my roommate has a Dell and it is constantly doing such weird things!! Hope it straightens itself out soon!

  19. Mary W says:

    it’s better than 70’s fasshion

    O am the queen of breaking things this week. I feel your pain.

  20. Lisa says:

    Ah, the ’80’s. I had my own flashback as I shelled out big $$ last night for dd when I’m sure I must have owned the same black leggings and long shirt/short dress at one time. If she asks for a kelly green polo and Jordach jeans I’m so not paying.

  21. Danielle says:

    You should have had jelly shoes on!

  22. Darren McLikeshimself says:

    I had to look up “anthropomorphism.” Damn. You all smart and stuff.

  23. marie says:

    My computer started doing stuff way slow recently. It turned out the router was bad and had to be replaced. Don’t know if you have a home network, but if you do it’s worth a look. The Big Clue that this was the problem for us was that even accessing the neighboring (literally feet away) computer’s hard disk was ridiculously slow.