again with the quotes, in lieu of real content
November 27, 2006
After braving Home Depot shopping hell Thanksgiving weekend for things we needed, not for presents, I spied the candy aisle.
Me (picking up a gigantic sized Twix bar): I haven’t had one of these in a long long time. I think I am going to get it.
Rob: You don’t need that.
Me (picking jaw up off the floor): Excuse me?
Rob: I am just telling you what you should be telling yourself.
Me (jaw still dangling): Ex-cuse me?
Rob: You really don’t need it. You will be wishing later that you didn’t eat it when your pants don’t fit.
Me: (tossing the Twix bar into the cart): Kind of like later on tonight when we are in bed and you try cozying up on my side? And you will be telling yourself that you wish you hadn’t mentioned the candy bar?
Rob: (reaching into the candy display): On second thought, why don’t you have two of them?
Me (stony silence)
Rob: Or three?
Me (stony silence)
Rob: I love you?
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*snort* Poor silly, silly man!
November 27th, 2006 at 5:44 pmNote to Rob:
November 27th, 2006 at 5:49 pmEngage brain before opening mouth. LOL
Ha! Hasn’t he learned by now? When your wife wants chocolate, you give it to her, ask her if she wants wine with her chocolate and then tell her how beautiful she is!
November 27th, 2006 at 6:05 pmHmmm, now I need some mint M&M’s…..
That poor man, he still needs some training I think. Or is he just a slow learner??
November 27th, 2006 at 6:17 pmDamn. Obviously he wasn’t thinking with his South Brain at that point?
November 27th, 2006 at 6:19 pmHa, how funny!
November 27th, 2006 at 6:19 pmOh gosh, I didn’t mean that as though he was thinking with any brain. I meant he wasn’t thinking with his I Love You parts…but really, he wasn’t thinking at all.
Much like me. Right now.
*hangs head*
November 27th, 2006 at 6:20 pmBless his heart. They just never get it, do they…
K.
November 27th, 2006 at 6:23 pmYou are quick on the draw, girl!
November 27th, 2006 at 6:28 pmWhy is it they always think an I love you will fix everything?
November 27th, 2006 at 6:48 pmLove the question mark after the “I love you” part of it. He really didn’t know which way to go from there, did he?
November 27th, 2006 at 6:58 pmI bet he didn’t know he could dig such a deep hole with a twix bar as a stand-in shovel…
November 27th, 2006 at 7:35 pmThose Y chrosomes get them in trouble every time.
What?!? Quotes aren’t real content? Well, there goes at least half my posts!
Mary
November 27th, 2006 at 8:33 pmOh, that poor soul. Not only did he blow it then, from now on anytime he says something even remotely like that, you can just turn to him with a huff and say, “You mean like the TWIX bar episode?!”
Will they ever learn??
November 27th, 2006 at 8:44 pmPoor schmuck… they never think before they talk, do they?
November 27th, 2006 at 8:55 pmOh that is so funny! I just love it. My husband knows better, I am not sure who trained him, but I would love to buy her a twix bar!
November 27th, 2006 at 8:55 pmDoesn’t he know how amazed he should be, each and every day, that you are still petite after bearing all those young? Silly man!
November 27th, 2006 at 9:11 pmThey never think before they speak do they? I wonder if it is just part of the male gene?
November 27th, 2006 at 9:12 pmI heard this yesterday, after hanging the outdoor Christmas lights without ANY HELP AT ALL:
Me: I was pretty much only using half my ass there.
Him: Oh, don’t say that. You can do more with half your ass than most people can do with their WHOLE ass.
Me: What?
Him: Because your ass is so . . . It’s very . . . Uh . . .
Me: Are you saying I’m fat?
Him: The lights look GREAT!
Men. Sheesh.
November 27th, 2006 at 10:00 pmWay to slap that Twix bar upside his head!!!
November 27th, 2006 at 10:09 pmI think that should get you out of sex for the next few weeks or so. Any time he cozies up, just remind him in a chilly tone about the “Twix bar incident”. I’m waiting on a good excuse to come my way here. Any ideas?
November 27th, 2006 at 10:16 pmI love when they try to “help.” Mine’s not any better trained.
November 27th, 2006 at 10:32 pmAnd what cracks me up is that he (and by “he”, I mean the entire male population) totally thinks this is a valid, logical discussion. Until you mention the bedroom reprecussions. Then, and only then, does he (and by “he” ..et al) realize the error of his ways.
(giggling at the two of you)
November 27th, 2006 at 10:35 pmI read this post aloud to my husband. He chuckled, look at me, and said “That sooo sounds like you and me.” He then proceeded to make some comment about manipulative women, which is likely to bite him in the a** later tonight. MEN!!
November 27th, 2006 at 11:06 pmHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
November 27th, 2006 at 11:15 pmOne night, while getting ready for bed, I said to my husband “I’ve lost a few pounds and I think I’m seeing it, I feel pretty good”, and he said to me “Yeah, I can really tell - Your butt isn’t as dimply as it used to be.”
November 27th, 2006 at 11:52 pmI love using that one!
You have no need to worry about eating a couple of candy bars. From what I can tell, your figure can handle it.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:14 amLOL!
November 28th, 2006 at 3:15 amYou guys are funny
November 28th, 2006 at 6:21 amWait a minute… There is a candy aisle in Home Depot??? Let me at it!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:57 amI was reading this to my husband…before I’d even gotten halfway through, he said, “What hospital is he in? I want to send him a card.” He said he was surprised that your husband hadn’t figured out by now that such comments aren’t a good thing. However, my husband hasn’t figured it out entirely either!
November 28th, 2006 at 12:19 pmNow I’m craving a Twix bar. Poor Rob, he may learn one of these days.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:52 pmUh Huh. Well I hope he paid for that later…
November 28th, 2006 at 2:17 pmLOL! Sometimes they forget to turn that filter on - you know the one that should stop them from saying what they’re thinking.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:13 pmSilly boy. Doesn’t he know that he missed the boat on “I love you” as ample reparations? I’m thinking jewelry. Big, fat, overpriced jewelry.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:44 pmOh my, this made me laugh very hard!
November 28th, 2006 at 5:11 pmI’m shocked there are ppl who are looking for excuses to get out of sex. My honey knows I can’t play that card ‘cos I don’t like to punish myself for his mistakes
That said… Wow. All this time I’ve been reading your blog, I thought Rob had better sense than that.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:15 pmi was laughing so hard that my husband had to come over and see what i was reading……. he laughed even harder!
November 28th, 2006 at 9:43 pmThat is exactly the kind of thing my husband says to me! I am astounded because I think that after 7 years of marriage he must have learned something, but apparently time makes no difference because you’ve been married to your husband for even longer. The other night he was eating someething I had cooked and looked very puzzled. Then he asked what I had put in the sauce. I started listing ingredients, and one by one, he said “no, thats not it”. Then he said, “no, it tastes more like…dirt.” Dirt. And then he tried to give it a good spin, like, dirts cool. I love dirt. I meant “dirt” in that it tastes earthy and robust. Yeah right.
November 29th, 2006 at 5:05 amwtf.. my own husband never questions what I eat and he SHOULD. YOU on the other hand could eat 100 of those candy bars and not even be near overweight!
November 29th, 2006 at 9:02 amOuch. Ouch. Ouch. A comment like that would result in a swift kick in the nuts from me, pardon my french.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:27 amOMG, that is hilarious! Lucky that he lived through the experience…
November 29th, 2006 at 2:18 pmtoooo funny!!!
November 29th, 2006 at 9:13 pmFantastic! Absolutely Priceless. Too bad that wasn’t a December Post….dang.
Oh, and luvva the sexxa here, too.
They’re just jealous.
December 1st, 2006 at 7:09 pmsometimes the most important lessons are learned the hard way.
December 1st, 2006 at 7:30 pmbuy ambien…
news…
March 19th, 2007 at 1:16 am