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all i want for Christmas

all i want for Christmas

December 14, 2006

I am totally getting my assed kicked. KICKED I tell you.

It probably doesn’t help that I have forgotten to vote for myself. And that when I called my husband to remind him, he had forgotten also. (Let’s pretend that I am only losing by two votes, okay?)

“We suck at this, don’t we?”

“Yeah. But that’s because it’s dumb.”

“You’re right. But you know I hate losing. I hate it. It make me want to go all Tonya Harding on everyone”

“Honey I hate to break it to you, but there is no coming back.”

And so it is. And once again the realization that life is STILL like junior high. I will not be getting a weblog award for Christmas. But that’s okay because where would I keep it? It would just be one more tsotshke to dust ayway.* There are much more exciting things I am getting for Christmas.

Like a new vacuum.

And a front end alignment of my big van.

And a new waffle maker.

Maybe I should just throw a root canal in there, you know to spice things up a bit.

(* what? you mean there isn’t an actual solid gold award? no million dollar prize? no record contract? I just get to keep that little icon over there on my sidebar? Hmmmm. In that case, bring on the waffle maker.)

Posted by Chris @ 5:24 pm  

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  1. Sara says:


  2. Mudderof3 says:

    hahaha…Tonya Harding on everyone…good one. I’m gonna go vote for you just cause that cracked me up :)

  3. Scout's Honor says:

    All I want for xmas is NO more business trips from my husband. Then he’s home to make me coffee in the morning where he belongs.

    Since all you seem to want is a vote (pretty humble wish), you got it. Voting as I write!

    Good Luck!

  4. jody2ms says:

    I just voted and I am baffled. A couple of those blogs I have never even heard of. One has as many hits as my blog does, so go figure.

    Things that make you go hmmmm?

  5. julie says:

    Ugh, if you’re losing by less than 10 votes then count me as a reason. I LOVE your blog but totally forgot about the awards season and only voted the first day. See, you’re just not all “hey hey, vote for me! me! me!” enough. But I shall vote immediately, because you totally deserve to finish with a good showing whether you win or not.

  6. Mary W says:

    I forgot to vote yesterday - sorry :-(

    But I agree with this

    >All I want for xmas is NO more business trips from my husband. Then he’s home to make me coffee in the morning where he belongs.

  7. Melessa says:

    I not only vote for you every day, but do so via a link on one of the other blogs. I’m evil that way. (And obviously, my evil efforts aren’t helping you as much as I want them to.)

  8. Nicki says:

    Hey Chris,
    what’s a stupid award? Just look at how many comments you get, how many people come daily to your site, and lastly how theraputic the writing is for you!! They can take the stupid award and stick it up there ….well you get the point!!!!

  9. ben says:

    Y’all dissin’ on Ms Harding haven’t had her waffles.

    Just sayin’

  10. Susan says:

    I’ve been voting for you so much that it often is greyed out and says, “You voted in the last 24 hours. Go away, loser. Get a life.” Or something like that.

    ((((HUGS)))) You’re the Blog Homecoming Queen in my book.

  11. lovely says:

    how do I vote where’s the link?
    I’d vote for ya’
    just a little challenged and alot out of the loop

  12. Katie says:

    Well you got at least 4 votes from me. I wonder if I can vote from the kids and my husband’s computers too.

    Have you started the “It’s just an honor to be nominated” bullshit post yet? ;)

  13. Novaks8 says:

    Susan, you said it perfectly!

    Chris is the girl in high school that I thought was *perfect*

    She has been my favorite blogger since day one and what I strive to achieve on my own blog!

    (I’m sure I have scared Chris just a little in the past couple of years with my adoration)

    I have voted every day.

  14. Playdate Susan says:

    I’m voting for Miles.

    What? There’s no category for Cutest Two-Year-Old? What kind of contest is this?


  15. Mom101 says:

    Maybe it would just be easy to campaign for a new waffle maker? I’m sure someone would send you one.

  16. Jaime says:

    I am mystified as to why you’re not winning. You are the most interesting, funny, talented writer and mommy of seven that I know. I love reading your blog! From a fellow mommy…only six kids here though :)

  17. Karen Rani says:

    I’m losing by WAY more than you. It’s been fun. I think of it as we are 2 of 10 that were selected out of MILLIONS. MILLIONS, I tell you.
    You know I love you, Mrs. Trenches.

  18. Laura K. says:

    You totally deserve to win!

  19. meredith says:

    You’re my favorite on the list :)

  20. Brigitte says:

    It’s really a contest to see who has the most friends/family who have nothing better to do than sit-n’-click! I only read two people’s blogs every day, and you’re one of them. In MY universe, that means you are totally the winner.

  21. peepnroosmom says:

    I’ve been voting every day. You’re still the best blog in my book.

  22. abbey says:

    I heard a report on NPR during election season saying that placement at the top of the ballet gets more votes. They had an unfair advantage. Being at the bottom of the ballet you should be able to double your votes.

  23. Jen says:

    Your not getting your ass kicked as bad as a few of the others, you still have a fighting chance! If all of us (your readers) email the voting link that Susan left (a few comments above)to everyone we know, we may just be able to pull off a little Christmas miracle… I’m going for it. Who’s with me??

  24. Carrie from Life With Us says:

    Well… I’ve been voting for you! I vote [for you] every time another blog [that's ahead of you] reminds me to. I think maybe the current leaders are just reminding their readers to vote more often.

  25. Jennifer says:

    You are my favorite, but I’m a lousy voter. I’ve only gone there twice, I think. Hate to break it you, but you’ve got some lazy fans. See? It’s not that your blog is not the best (because it is), it that we suck. So there you go. Merry Christmas from your laziest reader.

  26. Jennifer says:

    You are my favorite, but I’m a lousy voter. I’ve only gone there twice, I think. Hate to break it you, but you’ve got some lazy fans. See? It’s not that your blog is not the best (because it is), it’s that we suck. So there you go. Merry Christmas from your laziest reader.

  27. Jennifer says:


  28. Jennifer says:

    I’m a terrible voter but boy do I make up for it in comments.

  29. Chris says:

    Yes, you are an awesome commenter Jennifer and that’s what matters, right? ;-)

  30. Corra says:

    I’m a new reader to your blog, but love it!

    Don’t ask for a root canal for Christmas! I know from personal experience that dentists feel some sick sense of joy this season by preventing people from eating Christmas candy! I just had a root canal started a week ago, get more done on the 22nd and then fnished up on the 29th! What a wonderful Christmas present, or not.

  31. Colleen says:

    Jen is right. You’re not getting your ass kicked as much as some of the others (ahem). Some of us are plain black and blue over here, ya’ll. But it was fun to be included and I’m glad these awards allowed me to find your blog!

  32. Mom on the Gulf Coast says:

    I’ve been trying to go everyday and punch your name but I live in Florida and can’t seem to figure out the ballot…

    Just kidding, I have voted for you every day (I think).

    I went to the current leader’s site and it’s no wonder it’s in the lead. There’s a plug about the poll every day as well as titillating pictures to interest readers, the site would appeal to 20 somethings oryounger as there are a lot of lower case i’s, all cap usage, excessive punctuation, oh, and cussing (not that I mind cussing). If that’s your bag baby go check it out, otherwise STICK WITH CHRIS! Rah rah, etc. :-)

    I’m NOT trying to put down the leading site, rather it seems it’s readership (young tech savvy types)would be those who would be online all the time and have access to multiple ISP’s with which to vote many many times, a day.

    Vote for CHRIS!!!!!1! (perhaps the excessive punctuation will help)

  33. Mom on the Gulf Coast says:

    Just because I hate mine I would love to know what vacuum you are considering. I have a Kenmore bagless, it totally looses suction after one room and the filter gets hopelessly clogged every suck session. However, it’s better than my Dirt Devil was …

    I vote every day!

  34. Roxanne says:

    Chris, I’ve read through the blog that’s in the lead, and I can honestly say that yours is MUCH better! Of course, I may be biased, because you have almost as many children as I do, including six boys, just like me. You understand that boys are from another planet, and it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who gets that. (As I write this, my two-year-old son is growling like a dinosaur at me.) I can relate to your posts a lot more than I can relate to the other woman’s. Congratulations on being nominated, and if I could send you a waffle maker, I would. :)

  35. shannon says:

    I totally dont understand why you can vote more than once at all - juts increases the pleading on other websites. i wish it was a one vote per computer rule. Let’s not even mention the having your neighbor’s brother who’s never even read your site vote.

    but I have voted for you at least 4 times - unfortauntely my schedule does NOT run in 24 increments and I often try to early or completely skip a day!

    win the award or not - you are one of my favorite bloggers!

  36. g says:

    I voted 4 u!! :)
    your blog is the only one I read and feel connected to.

  37. Mom on the Gulf Coast says:

    I’m so sorry, I’ve gone and made a complete ass of myself (If anyone was paying attention). The leader blog I was referring too in my first comment was for another section of the Weblog Awards, Best Diarist. Gawd I’m a boob.

    Regardless, Go Chris!!!!!1!

  38. julie says:

    I voted for you three times. Think you are great!

  39. Lily Calla's Mama says:

    Poo, I didn’t get to vote for you because I apparently missed the memo about the Weblog awards. If only you’d been INCREDIBLY shameless like some of the other nominees, I’d have known and would have voted for you on a daily basis.

    Trust me on this, you’re way more talented and funny than those other gals. No offense to them, of course. ;)

    Sorry to sound so snarky.

  40. Audrey says:

    I voted for you!

  41. Mama Duck says:

    Ha ha ha, that’s ok, you soundly beat me and I even voted for myself once ;). Ah well, it’s still fun….

  42. cristen says:

    chris–if it makes you feel any better, yours is the only one of those blogs I read, and daily (I voted for you once, and would more if I didn’t have more pressing matters!), and I think you’re great…

  43. Chimera says:

    I voted for you! But that’s cause I think you’re awesome. I keep trying to convince my husband that seven kids would be cool. I talk about this really cool mom I know and he interrupts me and says, “And how do you know her, is she a blog?” And I say yes, she is in no way aware of my existence, but if we were neighbors I would totally bring over poundcake and we would have lots of wine and chocolates and I would babysit for free. And he rolls his eyes and then tells me that we need two. I have him up to “three, maybe,” but I somehow don’t think I’m getting him up much higher. I also told him about your awesome Excel grocery spreadsheet and I think that kind of clinched it for him. He keeps reminding me that social workers and photographers don’t tend to make the big bucks to cover things like doctors and food for seven children. I told him love is all you need but he always has this bad habit about reminding me about “real life.” I hate real life sometimes. Keep writing, I would miss you terribly.

  44. Darren McLikeshimself says:

    Are you getting a Dyson?!?!