My ever expanding to do list
December 19, 2006
1) Hang wreath on the front door, again. My wreath keeps falling off my front door. I have tried everything short of driving a 5″ nail through the door to keep it hanging with no luck.
2) I need to call the rental place to rent stuff for Christmas like tables, chairs, chafing dishes, a housewife…
3) Finalize Christmas day menu, shop for food, cook and bake. Wonder where the rental wife is.
4) Finish wrapping the gazillion presents I have, none of which are a puppy.
5) Go to liquor store
6) Clean house. Especially bathrooms. Forbid children from using them again, instead directing them to the great outdoors.
7) Order a new battery for my laptop. Right now it is just a lightweight desktop. And if my children trip over the power cord while I am typing one more time, cutting all power to my computer, so that I lose everything that wasn’t saved, well, let’s just say I’ll be spending Christmas in prison.
Tell children we will not be baking cookies until they clean their rooms, which does not mean piling everything on their beds and covering it with their comforter, stuffing it in the closet, or putting it all in the hamper. Do this every fifteen minutes for the next 5 days.
9) Give self full frontal lobotomy.
10) Bring the kids to see Santa so they can ask for and be promised presents that I have not bought. So that I can tell them Christmas morning that they should have been better behaved because obviously Santa took that present off of his sled. Too bad. So sad.
11) Throw wreath in the middle of the road and run it over a few dozen times. Shout expletives out the car window.
12) Revisit liquor store.
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