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In the spirit of sharing

In the spirit of sharing

January 12, 2007

The comments on the previous post have truly humbled me. Thank you so much for all the kind things you had to say. Some of the comments made me laugh out loud. Thank you. And so in this spirit of sharing, I will finally answer that meme with five things about me that you might not know, and probably could care less about.

1) I spent a summer in Africa studying art. The trivial thing I missed the most when there was ice cubes in my soda.

2) I have entered one race in my entire life. I arrived there completely excited and pumped up, one might even say full of myself considering that I even though I was thin and looked good in my spandex shorts, I never ran. After one mile, when I was passed by what appeared to be a 6 year old, the old people, and the overweight people I decided that it totally sucked and stopped running. Luckily there was a van trailing behind the runners to pick up the losers like me. Or I should say loser since I was the only one in the van. When we got to the finish line I told everyone that I had stopped because I had a bad cramp. It was a lie.

3) I am difficult to live with. Shocking, I know. But little things drive me bat shit crazy. One of those things is the way my husband takes off his coat and puts it everywhere but the closet. The chair next to the front door, the ballister, the door knob to the freaking closet. I don’t like to be a nag. And I certainly don’t like to pick up after people who are capable, I have children for that afterall. So now I just take his coat and toss it outside. And then I pretend I don’t know where it is. And it makes me laugh.

4)When I was 17 my mother got me a summer job at the mega corporation where she worked. The job turned out to be on an assembly line. A freaking assembly line where you could only go to the bathroom during one of the two 15 minute breaks you had a day. To amuse myself I pretended that I had a British accent and was left handed. This mostly meant I said stuff like, “Cheerio, but it is so hard for me to fill this box because I am left handed.” I lasted half way through my second day, when I went home during lunch and never returned.

5) One summer in high school I went to see Crosby, Stills and Nash at Radio City Music Hall with a friend. After the concert ended we hid in the bathroom until everyone left and then we snuck around the back corridors until we found the after party. We ended up meeting Michael Douglas, Gregory Hines, and a host of other famous people I can’t remember now. Graham Nash kissed my cheek and told me I was adorable, which, in retrospect, was really nice since I was wearing pink leggings and a long shirt with shoulder pads so large that I looked like I had a grape on top of my shoulders.

Bonus thing:

6) I was engaged before I met my husband to someone who was a jerk of epic proportions. I would like nothing better than to say that I came to my senses one day and left him. But the truth of the matter is that he dumped me, saying he couldn’t imagine only getting to have sex with me for the rest of his life. Ouch. Not sure why he said that since I later found out that it hadn’t stopped him during the entire time we dated. But I am thankful every single day that he dumped me.

Posted by Chris @ 9:51 am  

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  1. shaz says:

    all of that, and 7 kids! you are really interesting! #6 was faith, very happy for you :)

  2. Michelle says:

    Those are some cool facts! Thanks for sharing…this coming out of lurkdom might be a bad thing for me.

  3. inthefastlane says:

    I do the SAME THING with my husbands coat. It just gives me some sort of evil satisfaction to dump it somewhere else :)

  4. Kellie says:

    Thanks for sharing–Happy Coat Tossing!!

  5. Holli says:

    Thank God for those unanswered prayers! He has a wonderful life in the works for you.
    You are very interesting! Africa?! WOW! How cool!

  6. Mir says:

    I think we need a picture of young, adorable, grape-shoulder-adorned Chris. Yes, I’m sure of it.

  7. meritt says:

    I’m pretty sure you weren’t my brothers girlfriend… unless your name is really Kelly and you live more in the midwest than the east coast….

    but it’s possible your ex-boyfriend could have been my brothers twin. :)

    My brother told that same thing to my husband! He was engaged to his beautiful, funny, adorable, smart and wonderful girlfriend and asked my husband about that ’sex’ thing because he couldn’t imagine only having sex with one person the rest of his life.

    Is it needless to say they married and divorced just 1 1/2 years later?

    Yeah. It is. I hope, daily, that she is now married to someone better than my brother.

  8. Toni says:

    Great insight into who you are! Not just a mom to 7, a whole, whole lot more! Thanks!

  9. Woman with Kids says:

    I’ve been tempted to do that with the boys coats, snow pants, shoes, sneakers, gloves… everything that gets tossed on to the floor or dining room table. Is that bad?

  10. Erin says:

    What is it with men? My husband leaves everything laying around.

    I finally decided not to pick it up.

    Maybe I’ll try to tossing out the door, it would be a good laugh.

  11. Sara says:

    #4 is still cracking me up. I must try that when I get bored with things.

  12. Tina says:

    Okay, I am cracking up about your husband’s coat and you putting it outside!!! That is just too damn funny!!!

    And the assembly line British accent thingy? BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    I’ll say one thing, you definitely have patience to wait that long until everyone left the concert to find the afterparty!! Way to go!!!! :)


  13. tb says:

    I had a job at a plastic factory (sanding plastic parts) and lasted almost a month… I hated it! And they were also stingy on the bathroom breaks. To get them to let me go (and not wait until a break period), I told them I was pregnant. Gah!
    Great post, thanks for sharing.

  14. jody2ms says:

    #3 cracked me up.

    I have a friend whose husband came home from a late night out of cards and parked behind her van. In the morning, after getting her 3 kids ready for school, all the while her husband is snoozing in bed, she asked him if he would move the car so she could load the kids and take them to said school….. He told her no, that she could move it. So she did. She drove it down the street and parked it behind a building, where he could not see it.

    Then she took the kids to school and went to work.

    He woke up a bit late, and was rushing around getting packed for a business trip he was leaving for that morning…on a plane.

    He went out, could not find his car, and called her at work asking where his car was and she told him that in the spirit of his morning helpfulness, he could find it himself and then she hung up on him.

    He could not find the car, and missed his flight.

    When she told me this, I LMAO!

  15. bgirl says:

    I don’t have much of a comment, but in the spirit of de-lurking, I thought I’d say hi!

  16. Heth says:

    That coat thing is a good idea, I should try it with the kids. Imagine what the front lawn would look like.

  17. Kristie says:

    >>>>>So now I just take his coat and toss it outside. And then I pretend I don’t know where it is. And it makes me laugh.>>>>>

    Ha! I do the same thing with my husband’s shoes that he leaves in the living room floor! Sometimes he finds them under the sofa, sometimes in the utility room .. one time, outside on the patio. You’d think he’d smarten up eventually and just start putting the damn shoes in our closet.

  18. Trivial Mom says:

    I haven’t gotten to the point of throwing it out in the cold, but my husband does the same thing. He comes home from work and his jacket lands on the kitchen chairs. Mind you he has to pass the hall closet to get to the kitchen, but hanging his jacket would just be too much work.

    That’s pretty cool about the concert after party. I would never have had the guts to try that.

  19. Elizabeth says:

    Drat, I miss a few days of the blog roll and miss de-lurking day. Not that I lurk all that much - I comment a lot - but it’s nice to punch up those comment levels.

    I have an 18 year old daughter. I have a few escapades in my past. I took the bus with friends to our fair city’s downtown area, and we put on Australian accents and went bridal gown and bridesmaid dress shopping at the ritziest shops. Everyone was very nice but to this day I’m sure they couldn’t possibly have believed us! Anyway, I read stories like yours and actually feel somewhat disappointed that my daughter isn’t doing some of these high-spirited things one really only does in youth.

    Then, I remember. She’s doing them, all right, she’s just not telling ME!

    I’ll have to remember to ask her in 10 years.

  20. kasey says:

    Africa? Riding in the van through the race? The coat toss out? The fake accent/left hand and leaving for lunch to never return? Crosby, Stills and Nash!!? Yup, you totally rock!

    And man, I so need to do the coat thing, except everything my husband owns would be on the front lawn, including him and his damn playstation controlls!!

  21. Keith says:

    I’m going to make damn sure I hang up my coat tonight when I get home.

  22. Darren McLikeshimself says:

    Sweet Jesus, the ex-fiance did NOT say that!

  23. Mary W says:

    I am so trying the coat thing - except maybe not coats - we rarely need them here in Texas but with shoes, or keys or his darn pager.

    I am so LMAO at the car response too.

  24. Vivian says:

    Oh, you are awesome. The one thing I’ll share is this: My husband and I were in California 10 years ago for my sister’s wedding. We stayed in Clint Eastwood’s resort in Carmel. Needless to say, one night we saw Clint on the news and realized the news footage was going on in his restaurant. We rushed there in hopes of being able to see him. We did. I willed Clint to look at me and he did. Our eyes held and he smiled. I melted. He is one of the handsomest men I’ve ever seen.


  25. Christina says:

    I have to say the coat-toss is my favorite, too! How come it’s so hard for them to put the coat in the closet??

  26. creative-type dad says:

    Cool - I pretend to have a British accent too! Only sometimes, like at the market or visiting places like Ohio

  27. Bridget says:

    You are totally my hero for #5!

  28. Mrs. Schmitty says:

    I LOVE IT! Throw the coat out the door…brilliant! However, Mr. Schmitty doesn’t put ANYTHING where it belongs. My front yard may begin to look like the town dump after a while. The neighbors may get pissed. Okay, I’ll use the back door! :)

  29. Emily says:

    I missed de-lurking yesterday, though I have commented on a rare occasion in the past. I love reading your blog so much, I got my 15 year old sister hooked on it too from my talking about it! I am tempted to go through yesterday’s comments to see if she left one, though I doubt she did. I love your method for dealing with your husband’s coat as well, and will now be looking for creative ways of dealing with some of the things my husband leaves around the house.

  30. daring one says:

    Okay, you’ve inspired me. I think I could run a race too.

  31. Paige says:

    Am delurking here. :) I love and adore your blog. I look forward to pictures of your adorable kiddos.

  32. Nicki says:

    When my husband and I first got married, he kept dumping his undershirt/wear/socks on the floor. I went on strike. I wasn’t washing HIS clothes until he figured out how to put them in the laundry basket.

  33. Playdate Susan says:

    I want to see a photo essay of Rob’s coat NOT in the closet. Including one of the coat lying on the front yard.


  34. elizabeth says:

    Glad I am not the only one that misses ice cubes when *outside* of the US/Canada :-)

    You are amazing!

  35. Natalie says:

    I can think of some people I wouldn’t mind being kissed on the cheek by… =)
    When I was studying abroad in Madrid I had some fun with goofy accents while on the Metro. My friend (who looked totally white american) would speak to me in her best accent and I(who could easily pass as a Spaniard) would reply to her in English with a thick Spanish accent. Ah, we were goofy kids enjoying all the confused looks from the strangers around us.

  36. Heather says:

    My husband drives me insane about a simple task of putting trash in the garbage can! I know that sounds weird, but like an empty milk gallon. Instead of crushing it down and putting it in the recycle container, in the kitchen, he puts it on the counter by the recycling container. Same thing goes for empty 2 liter bottles or anything that needs to be recycled. Maybe if I took them and hurled them out the front door, he would get a clue. :)
    Very interesting stuff, Chris. Thanks for sharing.

  37. Jordan says:

    Ah, youth. I’m reminded of the time in high school my friend and I decided to interview wedding photographers (why? no idea) and thought it would be hilarious if we stuffed a pillow up her shirt and acted like she was knocked up and it was a shotgun wedding. Probably only really funny to us, the two biggest virgins in high school…

  38. Mary Tsao says:

    I like #5 and guess what, you’re still adorable! (Although the description of your outfit is pretty funny.)

  39. geminishadow says:

    Holy crap, I’m glad its not just my husband that does it!!!! His favorite excuse…….”There are to many coats on the rack already, it will fall off” Which isn’t true, since I cleaned it off six months ago, i guess since he thinks it was a valid excuse then that it still holds true now.

    His favorite place to hang his coat…..on the fire extinguisher. I told him the house burns down because i can’t get to the extinguisher, because of his STUPID COAT…THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!!!!

    sorry, had to vent there for a second heheheh…

  40. Tammy says:

    I missed delurking day - and WOW - what a fan club you have!! I’m mom to 3 little girls and live in the DEEP SOUTH! I love that it’s 70 degrees today, and my little ones are outside in their nightgowns jumping on the trampoline. I check in daily but never sign. I have a neat husband (no coat on the floor for him), but I’d love to take my kids toys and toss them outside every time I find them in the middle of the floor! My kids wouldn’t care, and it would be me cleaning up the mess outside too. :)

  41. peepnroosmom says:

    That was so funny. I love the coat thing. My hubby likes to take his socks off and throw them in the laundry wrong side out. I always wash them, dry them and put them back up wrong side out. Then when he puts them on, HE has to turn them right. Ha!

  42. Lulu says:

    How many new coats have you had to buy? :)

    Just a little insight. My mom lived in my home for 15 years. I felt like I lived in a hotel most of the time. And my sister used to come and rearrange things at will including trees. When I started throwing around stuff I didn’t like and relocating mom’s little pharmacy to her bed room she moved out to my sister’s home.

    Now if I could just lose 100lbs. :)

    Happy New Year!

  43. Erika says:

    my old boss used to put anything her dh didnt put away in his car. on the front seat. that went for everything, trash, clothes, you name it. needless to say he learned REAL quick!

  44. Maddy says:

    I come from England and I’m left handed …. no really I do and am ha ha ha. I don’t live there now, but that is too funny. Maybe I should put on an American accent and try to do stuff at work with my right hand ….

  45. Carola says:

    thank God for #6…

  46. Nancy says:

    So now I just take his coat and toss it outside. And then I pretend I don’t know where it is. And it makes me laugh.

    LOVE IT! My husband leaves his tools lying about and then wonders why he can’t find them in his toolbox when he needs them again. What peeves me is when it’s a utility knife! I’ve hidden two of them in the last month.

  47. zookeeper says:

    It’s not coats here…it’s socks. My husband takes off his socks and just leaves them around. And I hate feet- except for baby feet and cute little kid feet, so stinky socks are not on my “love to pick up” list. GROSS.

  48. Amy S. says:

    Way too funny about the coat!! My husband has a nasty habit of leaving wet towels on MY side of the bed after his shower. I got sick of this and didn’t wash the ones he used. I just kept all the other ones folded in the laundry basket…
    One night he was in the shower and yelled for me to grab him a towel because there weren’t any in the closet. I gave him a piece of toilet paper and said it was all I could find, but I was pretty sure he knew where to put that after he’s done… He puts the towels in the basket now. Oh, and I hate feet too. Especially Man Feet. Ew.

  49. Gwen says:

    Just yesterday my husband woke up to almost an entire bag of chicken nuggets laying next to him on his pillow. He’d left the bag out the whole night and they were ruined. He too has a hard time putting things back into place.

  50. Meg says:

    I’m laughing so hard I’m crying at the assembly-line story…

  51. Kim says:

    See, this is why I read your blog on a regular basis… you make me laugh. I could somehow picture you tossing the coat outside and giggling in this maniacal way when he can’t find it.

  52. Laura says:

    OOOOHHH - the shoes that my husband leaves in doorways, hallways or anywhere else I might trip and break my neck (and drop our darling 5-month old! I usually kick them under the bed - maybe next time I’ll toses them outside.

    Thanks for the laughs.