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still wandering the desert alone

still wandering the desert alone

January 16, 2007

This weekend I was out shopping and came across this beauty.

The perfect martini glass

I held it up and took a picture of it. I may have clutched it to my chest. I thought of Susan and Jody, and wished they were there with me.

A couple was standing next to me and they laughed.

“Isn’t it a great glass?” she asked.

“Ohmygod, YES!” I replied, thinking I had found my people.

“I’m going to buy it. It would be perfect for a fish!” she exclaimed.

A fish? Seriously?

“Oh see, I thought it was perfect for an evening martini. You know after the kids are in bed and can’t fetch me a refill.”

She gave a nervous laugh, like she thought I might be crazy, which duh.

And so I said, “I have seven kids.”

“Ooooooh. Okay.” and she nodded. And quickly walked away.

Perhaps my new tagline should be, Alienating people since 1969.

(Also, we bought a tivo. So if you never hear from me again that’s because I am busy making sweet sweet love to my tivo.)

Posted by Chris @ 12:16 pm  

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  1. Susanne says:

    Fish? What are people thinking? Of course that’s a martini glass.

  2. Jana says:


    Congrats on the new TiVo!!! I got it last Christmas and it is heavenly..though my son is convinced there is a little man inside the TiVo taping all these shows when we aren’t at home…and I would have to agree that it must be a man and not a woman because HE always tapes a bunch of worthless crap without being asked, yet HE never tapes the crap I am interested in unless I ask—oh yeah, TiVo is definitely a man!

  3. Jaybird says:

    Do you have a Micheal’s craft store nearby? They have the big ass wine glasses on sale this week for nine bucks! I plan on getting a set. :)

    Wanna come over next week for a gallon of something?

    Now….where to find wine charms in the GINORMOUS size!

  4. Jenn says:

    I often make sweet, sweet love to my ti-faux. It’s my favorite non-human thing. :)

  5. peepnroosmom says:

    Fish? Of course it is a martini glass. That’s exactly what I thought. We got aa Tivo for Christmas, too. I don’t know how we watched TV without it. Amazing how spoiled we become after just a few short weeks.

  6. Scout's Honor says:

    Don’t get me started on my TIVO. I’ve loved that baby for 3 years. So much that we got another for our bedroom upstairs. That doesn’t please the old ball and chain because he hates tv.

    How did I, a Grey’s Anatomy Loving, House craving, Desperate Housewives addicted, Top Chef-o-phile marry someone who hates TV? He hid it well before the wedding, me thinks….

    Perhaps, just like I hid the fact I HATE his music which he must constantly have playing and now is constantly blaring in our house because he works from home. Seriously, cannot handle the noise over the din of three kids and two baying dogs! Ack!

    Give me American Idol anyday. I guess I need the pictures!

  7. Mrs. CPA says:

    I had some of those on the tables at my wedding reception and we made them look like Margarita glasses. And then I took one back to Alabama and drank a few drinks out of it. It was awesome.

    The TIVO at our house is probably sending secret messages back to the mothership asking to be beamed back up. It didn’t sign up for all the recording/pausing abuse we’ve given it, plus a 10 month old who likes to punch it’s buttons.

  8. Mir says:

    I like my fish stirred, not shaken. And skewered between a couple of olives.

  9. Ashley says:

    Oh how I love TiVo!! It is so addicting!

  10. Christina says:

    Funny, I managed to alienate a whole room full of moms with only one in tow with my three adorable children this morning :)

  11. amy says:

    I love me some TIVO. Cannot believe I survived for lo so many years without it. I do not even watch too much TV, but when I do watch, I like to concentrate and with the kids and the husband, it can be difficult. My dear spouse loves to talk to me about the show while it is on and then wonders why I am not listening to him INSTEAD of said show. Ummmm, well, now all is well because I can just go backward and listen to the show instead of him without hurting feelings… Therefore TIVO may have saved my marriage!

  12. Karen Rani says:

    Fish. Peh.

    If I make it to the next BlogHer, we ought to spend a couple of days shopping before conference…how fun would that be?

  13. Playdate Susan says:

    Holy margarita glass, Batman! How much tequila do you think that thing would hold?

    I say we find out.

  14. Heather B. says:

    Duh it’s for a drink. I’m sitting here thinking about pouring the largest grey goose and tonic ever. Delicious.

  15. Annika says:

    A fish? Who are these people? Absolute minimum you’ve got to put a margarita in that glass.

  16. Michael, Shelby and Charlotte says:

    Love the glass! I may have to get one myself. Mine would be full with Mojito’s or wine..yum!
    I hear you about the Tivo we have one and I can’t live without it.

  17. Laurie says:

    FISH???? FISH????????? F-I-S-H??????????????? Nutjob…anyone with more than two children **KNOWS** what that glass is for!!!

  18. Jess says:

    OMG that is the world’s most perfect glass. My friends always joke with me that I drink fishbowl drinks. I am going to have to share this photo with them and see which one of them sends me the glass first. With any luck I will get a whole set. Thanks for sharing!!!

  19. Mary W says:

    My kids would know what that glass is for!

    Chris, I’ll be your people. The beverage store on the corner sells liquor in gallon jugs.

    And I am so lmao off that you had your camera in the store to take a picture.

  20. tanya says:

    We went out for Mexican on Saturday. The Margarita I ordered was so big my husband took a picture of me holding it. I guess divorce is out of the question now, he has proof I am a lush.

  21. mish says:

    Oh, LOVE it! I can imagine a margarita in that. And now I want one :)

  22. Kira says:

    The other day my oldest son accosted me with one of his friends to beg for permission to go play at the friend’s house. His mom trailed behind, allowing as how it was fine with her - AND they could keep him through dinner AND drive him back home.
    “They’ll probably play XBox most of the afternoon, if that’s ok with you,” she said.
    “Look, if you’re willing to take him all afternoon, feed him, and return him, XBox is fine. Really, anything short of porn is ok with me.”
    She sort of blinked at me in silence for awhile, and I stood there thinking, SHOOT! WHEN WILL I LEARN NOT TO TALK?

  23. stephanie says:

    you might as well kiss the blog goodbye now, because there is just not enough time in life for writing and tivo watching.

    and by that i mean that tivo is the most amazing creation ever invented.

    if there should ever be a fire make sure you designate one of your older children to be the designated tivo carrier. godforbid should it be forgotten!

  24. girlymama says:

    fish? she’s going to put a fish in that?
    does she realize that there is a reason there is a LID on most fish tanks?

    that would be one terrific cosmo.

  25. Amy S. says:

    I think it’s hilarious you had your camera in the store with you! But seriously, Fish? Was she insane? It’s an amazing drinking glass! Anyone with kids would love one of those babies filled up after the munchkins are in bed … “Honey, can you make me a drink? In my new glass? Thanks! You’ll have to carry me upstairs after I’ve finished though!” My husband would love that.

  26. jody2ms says:

    Now, by the looks of it, it will hold a full pitcher of margaritas. PERFECTO!!!!!

    You bought 2 of them, right?

  27. InterstellarLass says:

    It could also hold a goodly amount of margarita. mmmm. Kind of hard to salt the rim though I’m guessing.

  28. nabbalicious says:

    A fish? Losers!

  29. Izzy says:

    Fish? Who the hell drinks fish? heheh

    I’m going to copy another commenter and say that a ginormous Mojito belongs in that lovely vessel.

  30. Beth F. says:

    A massive martini and some good TIVO lovin’.
    Life is good.

  31. Robbin says:

    I don’t know if I would be able to lift it. Does it come with a huge over-sized straw? I just don’t want to exert that much engergy lifting it at the end of a long day.

  32. Bryanne Mayhew says:

    I. LOVE. TIVO!!!!

    I’m moving in a month and my sister only wants basic cable. I told her I have to have the DVR. I will pay for the DVR, but she has to divide the basic digital cable with me. I’m sorry, it’s simply a necessity for someone who has evening classes!

  33. Woman with Kids says:

    Is putting a fish in that glass akin to putting a worm in tequila? Because otherwise, I do not understand.

    And Tivo? I love it. I will give up food and …well, not chocolate, but definitely vegetables before I’d give up Tivo.

  34. Jenny says:

    Love. Love love love. Both the glass and the TiVo. In fact, I’m going to go lick my remote right now.

  35. J. Fergie says:

    Now THAT was funny. Clearly that woman does not have kids. Even if she only had ONE, she’d understand the potential of all that that big-a glass represents!

  36. Cathy C says:

    I swear to God you make me laugh! Now I’ll be hoping to run into you at Target or something. And Tivo? I don’t have it, but I do love TV, so I can only imagine.

  37. Wendy says:

    Now, you are definitely my people. I dont drink, but I would fill that glass with a Coke Icee. It takes the edge off for me. I know weird.

    But TiVo. How did people live without it? I have shows on there just for when the cable goes out. There are shows on there that will put the kid into a trance, so I can get some computer time. There are shows on there that will do the same for my hubby.

    TiVo is my secret boyfriend. Hubby doesnt think I love it as much as I do.

    If you or your hubby is techy, hook it up to your network. You can schedule shows through your computer if you are away, look at your pictures on the TV and listen to music from your computer. I am sure there is more stuff, but that is about all I do. Another trick, if you pause your show for about 15-20 minutes you can watch commerical free.

  38. Kristie says:

    Ok, see, if I saw you at Target, holding that glass, I would SO know what it was for, and would invite myself to your house that very instant so we could make the world’s largest amaretto sours ever. Of course, then you would think I was a stalker, which wouldn’t bode well for our blossoming friendship. But hey, drinks anyone?? :)

  39. rachel says:

    oooh, love the glass. heh. I want to come for drinks at your house!

    see, I say I’m teaching my kids to be independent - they can make their own lunch, fetch me soda & candy, what’s better? Dogs don’t fetch as well as kids.

  40. Nicki says:

    TIVO rules!!! Even if we only ever watch half the shows we TIVo. What could be better than a martini in that glass and your favorite show on TIVO….and all after the kids are asleep and you can watch it without interruptions from kids or commercial. Trust me it’s awesome!!!

  41. Beth says:

    There you go again … cracking me up! Fish? That glass has (fill in the blank with the name of favorite adult beverage) written all over it :)

  42. Cheryl says:

    So funny, Chris….I don’t think I take my camera out enough?? :)

  43. Jennifer says:

    Um, I wouldn’t blame myself for that one. Fish? C’mon now. Oh and tivo ROCKS! Just be careful you don’t teach your children how to use the remote too well. We’ve had to delete season passes on WAY

  44. M&Co. says:

    This reminded me of the time I was in the hardware store with the BoyChild. I don’t recall why we were there. It must have been something important cause he was not really ready for prime time and was zooming about the place, where they have sharp items, and paints and breakables all within reach of a four year old. Anyway, as I went racing after him when he’d spotted something he just had to touch, and probably break, and had run off at full speed, a woman said to her child about the same age as the BoyChild, “If you don’t come on, I’m going to leave you here.” Which on one level horrifies me, all those abandonment issues it raises but maybe I’ve seen way too many Disnery moves. On another level, one those days, seems like a dream. And I said to her as I rushed past, “oh that’s just a dream you have.” She looked at me like I was crazy and clutched her child to her like I intended to steal her. So yeah, I’m all about that “Alienating people since 1969.” But mine would have to be since 1962.

  45. Jennifer says:

    Whoops! That is WAY too much mind-numbing children’s programming. Sorry-fingers moving quicker than my brain.

  46. FishyGirl says:

    Trust me, I know from fish and THAT is NOT for fish. That is for the one margarita a day that I allow myself when I am not nursing, like now. Enjoy one for me, please.

    That said, my MIL could have made the fish comment - clueless, that one is, God love her.

  47. Katie says:

    Is it bad that I have enough alcohol in the house to fill that glass several times?

    I love my DVR. Not that I watch a lot of TV. I love my DVR because now I don’t have tape my husband’s favorite shows when he’s out of town (cause I’m a loving lazy wife like that). One downside is that the kids can play their favorite TV shows in a terrible “drive an ice pick in your temple” loop all day long.

  48. Dawn says:

    I’m thinking it is the perfect size for a Saturday night Cosmopolitan fest!!!

  49. Christina says:

    OMG…you crack me up!
    We just got a canadian version of “Tivo”….I rarely online anymore….its my newest, bestest friend in the whole wide world.

  50. Kim says:

    Oh my, how could any woman look at the glass and not think of the fabulous martini that should be inside of it? Seriously!
    Enjoy the tivo, Lord knows it’s my best friend.

  51. Susan says:

    Clearly, Fish Woman is the one to be feared here — not you.

  52. Danielle says:

    What size umbrella do you by for that glass?

  53. Sherri says:

    In my house, I would turn my back and a fish would end up it! I need Margarita in a box! Tivo, sigh, I can dream.

  54. Chris says:

    Chris, I promise, if we ever meet and you say that to me, I WILL hug you.

    Now there should be a picture of you taking a big gulp out of that glass.

  55. annette says:

    Surely FISH is an acronym for the alcoholic beverage of her choice. I always like to think the best of people:)

    I was thinking MARGARITA myself, yes on the rocks, yes with salt.

    Come to think of it , I had a margarita once with a plastic blue fish in it at a TGIF”S. My kids still talk about it.

    Maybe that is what she meant…:)

  56. Polly says:

    Your life will never be the same once you get Tivo.
    No more commercials.
    Let that sink in.
    And all your favorite shows, whenever you want to watch them…with no commercials.
    AND you can tape your kids favorite shows and skip the commercials so no more…”I want FLOAM.” “I want SUGAR COATED CARBS.” “I want (fill in the blank).” Or my all time favorite from my daughter last year “I want SPACE BAGS for Christmas!”.
    Can you see that I hate commercials?
    Live long and prosper with your Tivo, sister!

  57. taffi says:

    Hell, I don’t even drink and my first thought was, “That would make an awesome martini glass!” Fish? WTH?

  58. TB says:

    Perfect glass for Fishbowl drinks. Great find!

  59. meredith says:

    Can you put two straws in, I just want a litlle sip :)

  60. meredith says:

    “Little sip” I meant to say. I don’t have a head start.

  61. Maddy says:

    Why, oh why don’t you live near me? I would have jumped on that alcohol joke and we could have become lifelong friends in that moment.

    Tivo rocks the house. You will love it.

  62. Ani says:

    FISH??!?!?!? What’s with the obvious loony-head transforming a perfectly logical and obvious margarita glass into a haven for yet more things that would need to be fed/cleaned/etc?

    It does crack me up that you took the camera shopping tho. :-)

  63. Jodi@OC says:

    LOL! Have they started making an alcoholic drink with gummy fish? What other kind of fish could she have been referring to? ;)

  64. diana mcdonough says:

    SO Funny!!! I will get a set of those and have friends over for some sort of drink!!! thanks for sharing!!!!

  65. deborah says:

    OK, so where do I get me a wineglass that size for my, uh, fish, is it? Oh whatever. I need a wineglass ok! Would it be tacky to just put a straw in the bottle? Enjoy that martini, you deserve it!

  66. Michelle says:

    I asked my kids to come to the screen to see what they would say. My son, who is 11 said “It’s for tequila”. My daughter who is 13 said, “Well, you could make a big ole margarita with that!”

    Maybe it’s because we have 7 children also that mine automatically knew what that would be used for. Daddy does love his margaritas!

  67. Trivial Mom says:

    Gotta love TiVo. It’s the best thing ever. I don’t think I could ever go back to just plain old TV, and watching commercials. Blah.

  68. Mrs. Schmitty says:

    A tivo and a tremendously large martini glass, wow lady you hit the motherlode! I want your life! LOL

  69. Darren McLikeshimself says:

    It reminds me of the kind of T-shirt they’d sell at my alma matter’s bookstore:

    “[Rival school] martini glass.

    “[My college's] martini galss!”

  70. Jen says:

    I can think of at least 10 mixed drinks off the top of my head that would be wonderful in such a gorgeously humongous glass….martini, margarita, spiked punch, sangria, frozen screwdriver……the list could go on and on.

    Anyone that can look at that glass and see something other than an alcoholic drink is obviously under the age of 18, or at least thinks like one.

  71. Kim says:

    Strawberry Daiquiri. With whip cream on top.
    I don’t know whether to drink it. Or swim in it.

  72. Heather says:

    I think I had a margarita in that glass the other night! Some people just have no sense of humor!

  73. Tricia says:

    Cost Plus or Pier One?? I’ll be scared if it really is one of those- and really, I am not a shopper!

    One problem with the DVR/TIVO… soon you will need a DVD recorder! To record the ten hours of Curious George from PBS.

  74. Paige says:

    I’m sure someone’s already said this, but first thing I thought when I saw that??
    Awesome martini glass!! You would only need, like, 1 refill!!

  75. Meg says:

    Please tell me that you not only bought the glass but bought two so that I can come visit and drink an entire bottle of vodka and an entire bottle of vermouth in one sitting with you…

  76. Arianne says:

    I used to call him “El Tivo my latin lover”. Reminds me of Sex in the City, when miranda “dated” her tivo. :)

  77. Missy says:

    So, where did you find that wonderful glass? I think I need one………