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A promise to my children

A promise to my children

January 18, 2007

I will always be supportive of you and your ambitions. Always.

I’ll be there for you, standing outside the baseball diamond watching you in the bitter cold or the baking sun. I’ll be there.

I’ll sit in the ski lodge clutching my hot cocoa for warmth and stomping my feet so that my toes don’t freeze and break off, just so you can have a day at the slopes.

I’ll sit and listen to your fascinating stories about Legos, UFO theories, or the retelling of various Mythbuster episodes in excrutiating, some might even say painful, detail.

But I will draw the line at standing at a superdome for 2 days so you can audition for American Idol, because you have NO TALENT OR SINGING ABILITY WHATSOEVER. You will thank me one day that you did not humiliate yourself on national television.

I will tell you the truth. And remind you that you come from a long line of singing and rythmn impaired people.

Tough love, baby. That’s what I am all about.

And remember, we laugh because we care.

Posted by Chris @ 12:07 am  

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  1. Carrie from Life With Us says:

    Wow. My thoughts exactly!

  2. shaz says:

    “And remember, we laugh because we care. ”


  3. kalisah says:

    Excellent. Is it your oldest who gives you the play-by-play on the Mythbuster episodes? My 13-y-o son does the same thing. I’m thrilled that he appreciates the laws of physics and all, but yes - excruciating.

  4. Laurie says:

    My 6yr old son and I LOVE Mythbusters!! But I’d have to agree that the Lego stories can be quite excruciating. ;)

  5. Tina says:

    Ahhhhhh, so true!

  6. ek says:

    just SO funny and true :-)

  7. Callie says:

    oh your statement is oh so correct. I cannot believe these people didn’t have a good friend that would not let them humiliate theirselves in such away. I find it hard to believe that they keep singing when the panel is laughing, turning around in their chairs, making crazy faces. Totally unbelievable. Where did these wacko’s come from. Thanks for posting.

  8. carrien says:

    thanks for the laugh. I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds those stories excrutiating.

  9. Lisa says:

    I sure hope that if I sing as badly as some of those contestants, SOMEONE who loves me would save me from humilitaing myself!! And, if the day comes that I need to save one of my kids from humiliating themselves, I hope I can have the courage to do it gently. Gently, to save them from the evil jaws of Simon.

    “And remember, we laugh because we care.” - too funny!

  10. Toni says:

    You are to funny Chris! And a GREAT mommy!

  11. Holli says:

    Could you believe it!? One mom told her 16 year old son (who was horrible - he was the juggeling guy) that “you’ll be famous one day baby, you’ll be famous”. Uh.. mom… I believe he wants to be famous not infamous! The boy had no talent! Yes, I will always be honest with my child!

  12. Kristi says:

    Oh, thank god there is a parent out there (besides me, of course) who will tell it straight up! Where in the hell do those other people come from?

  13. Mir says:

    I thought for sure this was a Love Thursday post…. ;)

  14. Woman with Kids says:

    I get a play by play of Boy 2’s dreams, but it segways into what he had for lunch, what he wants to be when he grows up, a story he wrote, his dream again, is breakfast ready? can I wear this shirt? the story again.

    Shoot me.

    And? Laughing at them is a form of love, it has to be.

  15. girlymama says:

    thank you. i wish more parents were like you. why would you want your child to humiliate themselves on national tv?
    i don’t get it.

  16. Jen says:

    It’s amazing what some people will do just to get on television! I have to wonder if half of that crap (on American Idol) is scripted. I guess I want to believe it is, it scares me to think that people like that really exist… Can someone be so delusional that they think they can win a singing competition by whining Bohemian Rhapsody?

  17. Jennifer says:


  18. Brandi says:

    My 2-year-old keeps me in check whenever I have aspirations of a singing career. Anytime I sing for her, she scrunches up her face and says “nooooooooo.”

    I felt so bad for the software guy from Utah with the freaky eyes that rarely blinked. He said his coworkers encouraged him to audition. You know they told him that because he’d look like a fool on national television.

  19. Heather says:

    LOL! I think a little coffee just came out of my nose ;) Seriously, that IS love Thursday!

  20. Katie says:

    I will never ever be at an American Idol audition either. I can’t sing, the kids can’t sing, we’re so the opposite of the Von Trapps.

    My twins discussed “PJ Day at School” for 30 excruciating minutes yesterday (we were in the van driving to indoor soccer). Finally I had it, “You wear your PJ’s to school, end of story, ENOUGH!” I better go get in line for the Crappy Mom of the Year Award.

  21. Personal Chef to 2 says:

    I absolutely love American Idol - for the sheer entertainment value it brings to my life in the very beginning. Both my husband and I were glued to the TV for 2 hrs straight both nights! Sad, I know …

    And I agree. I’m all for being supportive of your child’s dreams but at some point reality must set in.

    Did you see the mother/daugther team - with the extremely bright red lipstick? OMG get that woman a bra!!

  22. Elizabeth says:

    Would you be referring to the Idol contestant with the short blonde wig and the bad teeth who brought her Mother to the audition, in a long black wig and equally bad teeth? And then she sang “Don’cha” by the Pussycat Dolls? I’m sure they are both fine, upstanding individuals, but singing? NO!

    I listen to the boys tell me the plots of Nickelodeon cartoons and what happened on Level 12 of Lego Star Wars II. Ryan reads me trivia out of the GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS! But what can you do? Soon they will be teenagers and might not talk to us at all!

  23. Anna says:

    Totally. Wow, that was a horrific and hilarious episode last night, wasn’t it?

    It’s no wonder that husband didn’t support her- and why would you believe your 6yo?

    The mother-daughter team that Personal Chef mentioned was just unbelievable. They reminded me of the overbaked, overdone make-up mother-daughter team of last year.

  24. Nicki says:

    After last nights episode of Idol, my ears were sure they had been offended. My favorite was the mother who believed her son over her husband. Who would you believe Miles, or your husband???

    Poor delusional people!!! Sometimes I make my husband fast forward through some of them….it’s just too painful to listen too.

  25. Erika says:

    rotflmao. Thank god those ppl must be actors b/c I honestly cannot believe that there are ppl out there like that..

    we watched a bit of it, truth be told, I cant stand it, but law and order SVU was especially heinus (sp) and I needed a break form the horror.
    and the amusement of laughing at other people. gee that sounds awful

  26. Heather says:

    I had the same conversation with my 19 year old daughter last night, after watching 2 hours of American Idol. What is WRONG with people?!?! Is it possible to feel embarassment for someone else? Because holy hell last night while watching these AI hopefuls, I was covering my ears yelling, “no!!! shut up!Stop! Save yourself!” all while trying not wanting to listen… LOL..

  27. Alice H says:

    On a side note, does anyone else see the humor of an ad for Planned Parenthood in the sidebar of a blog of a woman with seven kids?

  28. Susan says:


  29. Mary W says:

    BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! to the laughing and the Planned parenthood thing - I noticed it yesterday when I was stal errr checking to see if anything new was posted.

    My seven year old thinks he’s a comedian. I get pnchlines of jokes told rather painfully.

  30. rachel says:

    I love Mythbusters! We’re even doing a science unit based on it.

    I always say “I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing near you”

    I like your promises!

  31. Christina says:

    My dh and I were wondering the exact same thing last night, how could their families let them do that?

  32. Shanna says:

    I just found your blog. I’m looking forward to checking in everyday. Love what I’ve seen so far!

  33. Holli says:

    OMG! I am totally cracking up! I never noticed the planned the parenthood ad! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. One day with my 6 yr old maniac boy and that’s birth control! LOL!
    Anyways… again, I love your blog - you are hysterical! An awesome writer.

  34. InterstellarLass says:

    Oh dear. I think some of those bozos that audition really believe they can sing because their mothers led them to believe they could. We have rhythm in our blood, but no singing ability. And every night we have to tell Zed to stop singing in the shower. Maybe he’ll be better when his voice changes…

  35. peepnroosmom says:

    Those poor people. Somebody must have made a bet with them

  36. peepnroosmom says:

    Those poor people. Somebody must have offered them money or something to get up there and humiliate themselves. (hello “Red”. I’m talking about you.)

  37. Arianne says:

    And I promise to teach you what a bra is for, and why boobs are not supposed to be tucked into your pants. Oh yeah, and when a silk shirt is pretty and when its just a POOR decision!

  38. Jenna says:

    I think the RED and they hairdresser guy who almost touched Simon’s hair were drunk. Then the “bush baby” guy and his friend, I just can’t believe that ppl like that exist and think they are good. Too funny and too embarrassing, I was embarrassed for them. lol

  39. cassie-b says:

    Tell ‘em like it is!

  40. Stacy says:

    I am so bummed that I missed the first 2 episodes, but I have watched religiously in the past. I do think you can be embarrassed for others because that happens to me. “My God, didn’t your mother at least tell you the truth??”

    I hereby promise, solemnly pinky swear that I will tell my children the truth, too. I would rather they get their 15 seconds of fame for being smart and incredibly attractive, rather than being freakish and out of tune.

  41. Joy H says:

    Seriously….what is wrong with people!

  42. Stefania/CityMama@Strollerderby says:


    And when my kids wonder why Mama ain’t gonna drive them 6 hours to LA, I’ll point them to this post.

  43. Mom101 says:

    Oh thank you for this. I am embarrassed that I watched those auditions and horrified at how they treated those kids. The fact that after FIVE SEASONS of humiliation, that the parents would willingly drive their no-talent spawn and root them on…well I don’t get it.

  44. Heather says:

    Ah, a woman after my own heart. Love only goes so far.

  45. khristalee says:

    Speaking of American Idol, (Red, Bush baby his friend etc.) did anyone see The View the next morning of them talking about how mean they were about them? Drove me nuts. I can’t stand Rosie, when she was on her own show she was great, but she now sucks. And I normally like Elisabeth, even tho’ she is so damn polit-corr, but wah, wah, poor kids getting made fun of behind their backs. At least they were pretty kind to bush baby’s friend to his face.