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next up on today

next up on today

January 29, 2007

I have something of a potty mouth. I enjoy a good swear word when the occassion calls for it. Unlike my husband who never swears. (As an aside, why doesn’t he swear? I feel like I have to do it enough for both of us.)

The kids mostly don’t imitate the swear words. They have been taught that some words are only for grown-ups to use, and when they grow up they can swear to their hearts are content. Sort of like drinking alcohol. It’s one of those things that adults can do. Unless they grow up and decide to become Mormon. Or Janet Taylor.

This weekend, while I was out, my 3 yr old daughter went up to Rob with this little maze game that she has. You know those plastic ones with the little silver ball inside that you have to move through the maze by gently tipping the toy back and forth? Well apparently Rob was having some trouble with it. And three year olds being what they are, she was growing impatient with his obvious incompetence.

When he finally finished it and went to hand it back to her, he dropped it on the floor.

She looked him, right in the eye and very seriously said, “I told you that you were an asshole.”

Rob tried not to laugh and said, “That’s not very nice to say to Daddy!”

She put her hands on her hips and said, “Well, it’s true,” turned and walked out of the room.

And really, how do you argue with that.

Posted by Chris @ 6:24 pm  

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  1. Susan says:

    My daughter said worse at that age. So bad that I can’t write it here.

    E-mail me if you must know. LOL

  2. jody2ms says:


  3. Mary says:

    I, too, have a potty mouth, and while my older daughter is as prim as can be and reprimands me for every “crap” that comes out of my mouth (and really, I do not see how one can speak proper English without the frequent use of “crap” and worse), my toddler already gleefully shouts “shit!” Luckily, her ability to enunciate is total crap and no one, except me, can yet tell that she is going to emulate her fabulous mother. In many ways. She begs for my coffee and my wine, too.

  4. Mary W says:


  5. Allanna says:

    Hey, Mormons can cuss, too!

    (Well, I shouldn’t, but sometimes it happens.)

    I’m kind of worried for when my kids start talking … since I say “crap” and “hell” just about ALL THE TIME.

    And your daughter is adorable. Not at her nicest moment there, but utterly adorable!

  6. Tricia says:

    As my 3 year old was trying to get his dog to move along…”Go, Ella, god damn it, go” Lovely Eh?

  7. Mocha says:

    That’s a beautiful daddy-daughter moment. Can we get a doll made of her? That talks? And says that very phrase?

    There’s your moneymaker, Chris.

  8. bluepaintred says:

    i cant stand when my kids minic me! it shows my bad parenting skills LOL

  9. Joan says:

    That line definitley came from one of her older siblings to another!

  10. Woman with Kids says:

    That’s funny. She was just being honest about her feelings…

  11. Toni says:

    I think most of us are willing to admit our kids have picked up our language, although some will NEVER fess up!

  12. Ruth H says:

    I agree with Joan, she got that from an older sibling. I’m sure they didn’t say it in front of you, but……

  13. Heather says:

    Really, what can you say? Ellie and I had a round of, “Mommy, you said shit” this weekend during the wallpaper removal disaster.

  14. Y says:

    That’s it! I’m not reading your blog anymore!

    That isn’t funny!

    (but it was SO funny when the lady was talking on her cell phone and didn’t go when the light turned green and I said “she needs to get off the phone and drive” and my two year old pointed her finger all pissed off like and shouted “GO, DUMBASS!”)

  15. Karly says:

    Eh, thats nothin. My son used to play basketball with his daddy when he was 2, and every time he missed (which, lets face it, was every time he shot) he would say “oh, puck!” He had a little problem with his Fs.

  16. Playdate Susan says:

    Just please don’t teach her to say “Women need to find OTHER ways to socialize.” Please.

  17. Angela says:

    Oh… my… gosh….. I am laughing like a crazy woman here! Makes me think of when my niece went around telling everyone “Daddy got a new *uck” ’cause she couldn’t say ‘TR’. Sadly, she was a bit prophetic, ’cause daddy had a new *uck in addition to his new truck….

  18. Lane says:

    That’s freaking (can I say freaking?) hilarious.

    My 3 year old twins have been known to calmly say “damn it” when something doesn’t go their way. Just shaking their heads, hands on hips like some 40 year old coach who just lost a game.

    I blame it on the neighbors.

  19. Belinda says:

    Too funny!

    It took up until recently for my near 4 year old daughter to use a swear word.

    We were sitting on my inlaws front porch and everyone was talking loudly (they are Greek) and over the top of each other.

    Mia was sitting on my lap and she put her hands over her ears and said loudly “be quiet you f*ckers!”

    Oh dear - I’ll never live that one down.

  20. Carola says:

    that is really funny..”but it’s true”…that is even funnier than the curse part.

  21. Danielle says:

    The twinnies are just now repeating every single word that they hear. I’m good about not swearing at school but I can’t hold it in all day. I would die. Really that’s how much I have to swear.

  22. Katie says:


  23. Nicki says:

    How long did you laugh after he told you that? It would have taken me about 2 hours to stop!!!

  24. Darren McLikeshimself says:

    That’s terrible! In a hilarious kind of way.

    I have no idea what I’ll do if I ever kids. I’ll probably have to tape my mouth shut.

  25. cheryl says:

    Like the time we were late for preschool because of traffic and my (then) 3 yr old yelled ‘MOVE IT YOU FREAKIN’ MORONS!!’ to the freakin’ morons. We have since designated some words as only ‘car words’. lol. Don’t you love kids?

  26. Courtney says:

    OMG Chris! That is f’ing hilarious! I just might have peed in my pants when that sentance came out of her mouth!

  27. Marey says:

    “Mommy can I say ‘Holy Smokes?’”
    “Sure, you can say that.”
    “F*cking Hooooly Smoookes!”
    (Muffle hysterical laughter.)

  28. Jackie says:

    That was laugh out loud funny! I truely enjoy reading about your family. You have a way with words that grabs the reader. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

    Have a great day!

  29. Jeanne says:

    I tried to change my potty mouth when my 2 year old exclaimed “Hody Shit.”
    He’s twelve now and has heard it all.

  30. Jackie says:

    That was really funny. When my 5 yr old was 3, she loved to shout, “damn it” when she was mad. The older boys’s heads would swivel to me and demand, “what are you going to do to her?” I usually would calmly explain to not use that bad word, and that’s about it. How could I be mad when I know it was from me? My husband also NEVER swears, ever! How can that be?

  31. Caren says:

    We were driving through the mall parking lot with the windows down and apparently the pedestrians weren’t walking quickly enough. My 3 yr. old starts yelling out the window, “GET OUT OF THE ROAD!!!” He also uses “sh*t” and “d@mmit” when he is frustrated.

  32. peekay says:

    file that under: holy shite.

  33. Debbie says:

    See if that happened here *I* would be in real trouble….

  34. Nan says:

    Just in case you are taking a poll, my husband never swears either. Then again, I manage to do his share….

  35. Kim says:

    I cannot find a link to Jody

  36. Kim says:

    Well I found it, I just couldn’t see it when I looked yesterday!!

  37. Valerie says:


  38. dawn says:

    well hell…I can’t Imagine any of my damn kids swearing…heehee

  39. Kris says:

    Oh God that is so funny!

  40. Kari says:

    My kindergartener’s new word is dammit. Don’t know where she got it from - I’m a mormon :)

    (ok it was me - still a mormon)

  41. Miss Peach says:

    This is hysterically funny. I am going to have to curb my overuse of the F word if I have kids… it’s bound to be a problem! My mom swore in front of me when I was little, not a lot, usually while driving, and when I was four I allegedly sat in Sunday School (SHE taught the class) coloring, and everytime I went over a line I would say, “Oh, masshole!”. Get this: She pretended I wasn’t her daughter!!! (It was a big church). Too much.

  42. Kim says:

    OMG, that reminds of the time my eldest called one of the little boys in his class an f’ing idiot and then calmly told his teacher that “it’s what my mommy says when the light turns green and the cars don’t go”. Nice eh?
    If I had been Rob I would have been laughing hysterically.