what a drag it is getting old
February 13, 2007
Rather disappointingly there were no kittens on the ceiling. Instead there was a poster of a Renoir painting, which, while nice, was lacking that little something extra I have come to expect.
I forgot how much I like her. When we talked about switching medication she said, “Let’s try lexies.” Like they were some sort of illicit street drug. I liked that. I may stop calling them mother’s little helper and humming the tune by the Rolling Stones every morning, that is how much I like this new nickname.
Even though when I was asked if I drink alcohol I stuttered and stammered like we were still living under Prohibition or like she had just asked me if I give out blow jobs in exchange for crack. I ended up giving a non-committal, “Uh, you know” for an answer.
But we chatted. She asked questions. I answered them.
1) No, I don’t drink milk.
2) Like a stuck pig.
3) Only when I laugh really hard.
Then I got weighed. And I had to point out that their scale is wrong, as in eight pounds wrong. Also that my clothing was heavy. And my shoes. And my earrings were exceptionally large. And I hadn’t properly exhaled.
Clearly I am at least 12 pounds lighter than what is reflected on their scale.
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Funny, all of my doctor’s seem to have that same scale. It’s good to know I’m not alone
February 13th, 2007 at 1:15 amThe one thing that sucks about *lexies* is that there is NO generic, and our insurance will only pay generic prices. Yeah - they suck, but lexies don’t
February 13th, 2007 at 1:36 amYeah. My doctor’s scale does that too. I’ve been thinking of asking him if I can pee first, strip nude in the hallway and rest my head on the counter while being weighed. That’s how I do it at home and I weigh the same now as I did in High School. Granted, back then I wore those really heavy earrings and I would include my brain’s weight in the total. But my brain was a lot smaller then and I really don’t think I should have to justify myself to you.
February 13th, 2007 at 4:26 amYeah, our home scales do that. They’ve gone really wrong actually, as they claim i’ve put on a stone in 2 months. And they are vindictive; they keep telling my dh he hasn’t put on any. And he doesn’t NEED to lose 2 stone, so what’s their point?
February 13th, 2007 at 5:17 amWell I am sorry girls - you need a set of scales like mine - I weighed less tonight than I did this morning - - - how you may ask? By doing something I hadn’t done in 10 yrs - by donning my favourite ‘comfy’ shorts and going to a gym class. Did you know it what possible to drip sweat from the elbows? or to have it running down your glasses? Needless to say I think I will enjoy it more next time when I have the forsight to pop some ‘lexies’, have a glass of chardy and just plain not go! BTW after seeing myself in that big gym mirror - those ‘favourite’ comfy shorts no longer exist…
February 13th, 2007 at 5:32 amLove your blog - laughing everyday when I read it is the best exercise possible. Keep it up.
That’s not old. It’s a world professional scale conspiracy to make us all jumpy and slef-conscious.
February 13th, 2007 at 8:29 amMmmmm, lexies . . . wish I had the guts to speak up to my doctor and get something! (The Catch-22 in those Paxil social-anxiety ads: when you’re so pathologically frightened of talking to others, you’ll never get the medication now, will ya?)
February 13th, 2007 at 8:36 am“Lexies” are the best and followed with “Xanaxies” it’s my scales, their scales, who cares?
February 13th, 2007 at 12:20 pmMy doctor’s scale does that too. And? Each year? Seems to be off a little more. Stupid scale.
February 13th, 2007 at 12:32 pmproperly exhaling…never thought of that one! Hope the meds help.
February 13th, 2007 at 12:33 pmGee we have #2 & #3 in common.
February 13th, 2007 at 12:40 pmI love me some lexies. They really, really help.
February 13th, 2007 at 12:44 pmRegarding answer #2, Two words.
February 13th, 2007 at 1:19 pmhttp://www.divacup.com/
Life changing! No more feeling like a stuck pig. No more cleaning the bathroom after every use. No more replacing the sheets on the bed monthly. I’m telling you, LIFE CHANGING!
But will your little pills be yellow?
February 13th, 2007 at 1:29 pmAt the risk of sounding like a moron… Can someone tell me what lexies are??
February 13th, 2007 at 1:57 pmLexapro, I’m guessing.
February 13th, 2007 at 2:08 pmwhat happens when the scale says, “One at a time please?”
My kids now call it the “Make Mommy Cry Machine”
February 13th, 2007 at 2:47 pmI want to take out a gun and shoot those doctor’s office scales! They are inaccurate, dammit! Except, not when they show that I’ve actually lost weight.
February 13th, 2007 at 3:21 pmThe scales at all the doctor’s offices and at Weight Watchers are wrong. Definitely. Even my scale at home is wrong. But my driver’s license is correct. It has been for the past 40 years. Yep I weigh exactly what I weighed when I was 16 years old. Don’t you?
February 13th, 2007 at 3:28 pmYou know, they determine how many milligrams of the drugs you need by your weight, so maybe that false 12 lbs lifted you into the next bracket! Higher doses! Yeah!!
February 13th, 2007 at 4:00 pmHey– I went today, too. Saw a picture of a steaming cup of coffee and green and yellow swirly cookies. Was not on drugs.
Heavy scale, even though I am trying to gain weight it made me wonder how I could possibly be wearing my favorite jeans.
Was entered, biopsied, smashed & pummeled, ultrasounded, and pricked, and it took so long I had to cancel my dental appt for a ROOT CANAL. No lie. I’m doing THAT tomorrow. Good times.
February 13th, 2007 at 7:24 pmI love the lexapro, too. They made me SUPER tired the first couple of weeks (the kind of tired where you sleep 10 hours at night then take a couple hour nap during the day…) but I feel much better and I lost 10 pounds without trying - YAY!
February 13th, 2007 at 8:02 pmGood lord! I want some lexapro if it did makes you lose weight like Suzanne says!
February 14th, 2007 at 12:32 am