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Sick and secretly hoping for death

Sick and secretly hoping for death

February 19, 2007

If I were writing yesterday that is all I would have been able to say. If you are queasy or don’t like to read about vomit, you might want to skip this oe.

We got hit with a nasty virus. My oldest got it five days ago and was feeling better in a day or so. Then the two year old got it and was awake throwing up every ten minutes all night long. But seemed bright eyed and perky once dawn came. I hoped against all odds that no one else would get it.

But yesterday morning I got sick. It hit fast and furious. I was in the car driving home from the hardware store where I had to pick up another gallon of paint and some new paint rollers, and it was only by pure will that I didn’t throw up all over myself in the car.

So I spent the day running back and forth to the bathroom, never sure which orifice I should have hanging over the bowl. It was awful. At one point I had my head laying on the toilet seat. In the downstairs bathroom that the boys mostly use. A toilet I don’t even like to sit on without first cleaning it. And yet, there I lay with my head on it. On the one hand wishing I were a more attentive house cleaner, but on the other loving the cool feeling on my cheek.

After about 12 hours the vomitting stopped. For me. And then began the carnival of vomit, beginning with my 3 year old. Followed hourly by the 9 yr old, 6 yr old, and almost 11 yr old. All of whom threw up in their beds, on their floors, on their walls. Or so I have been told. I was laying in my bed, helpfully moaning and shouting where we keep things like sheets and towels. Because I hide them in the hall linen closet.

My daughter joined me in my bed at about 1:00am and every 15 minutes I held a little pot under her chin while her entire body shuddered. And she woke up this morning chipper and talking about what she was going to eat for breakfast. Next time I am sick I am totally going to make someone lay awake in my bed holding a pot under my chin, and sometimes holding my head. Clearly that is the secret to getting well quickly.

The only two who haven’t gotten sick yet are Rob, the husband I share the children with, and my 7 yr old. And the two of them are being exceedingly cocky about it. High fiving each other. Declaring themselves too strong to sucuumb to the weakness that is getting sick. The male chest thumping bravado.

Uh huh. What is that saying? Pride comes before the fall.

I promise that I won’t gloat once they get sick. At least not outwardly.

Posted by Chris @ 1:00 pm  

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  1. dcfullest says:

    I have never come to appreciate Clorox wipes more than when I needed puke and lay my head on the toliet. I found than while vomiting I could actually use them to clean the seat to a non-nasty level.

  2. Mary O says:

    Sounds like the same thing that completely leveled my family on Thanksgiving. There were not enough clean sheets, towels and bathrooms in the house! Yuck.

    Get better soon!

  3. crazy8s says:

    Don’t forget to request that they hold your hair back for you as well!

    High five indeed.

  4. alice says:

    that sounds EXACTLY like how it went for us a couple of months ago. Down to the head on dirty toilet seat, and bowl under chin up all night. My kids thought i was dying because i guess the only words that came out of my mouth were, ” I’m dying”. I swear in my 34 years of life I have never been that sick, ever. And yes, the hubby was the only one who didn’t get it too. Sucks right?

  5. Tami says:

    Maybe you had the Peter Pan cronicles. I did and did not show symtoms for two days. I felt nauseous and had a fever and constant headache, body aches for 3 and a half days. I only had eaten half of a peanut butter sandwich. I guess some people are more prone to these things than others. Hope everyone is well now. Did your husband and son eat the pb?

  6. peepnroosmom says:

    Oh, you poor thing. The throwing up is bad enough for the kids, then you have to get it. Back in November I had it and I held off puking for as long as I could. I was half way home and at a red light. I threw up before I could get the door open. I had to drive home with puke all over my lap. I had to call John home from work so he could clean out the van for me and take care of the kids.
    I hope you and your family feels better soon.

  7. Jennifer says:

    Ick. Sounds awful. Bet that bathroom’s clean now.

  8. Jodi says:

    Worst sound on earth? Vomit hitting carpet at 2:00am. Oh, and let us not forget stepping IN that vomit as mom (never dad…curious, that) stumbles, half-asleep, to help the sick child.

  9. Cheryl M. says:

    Oh Chris - I hope you all feel better very soon - I know there could be worse than 7/9ths of the household vomiting, but it sure doesn’t seem like it….I say send it to Donald!!!!

  10. Eve says:

    We had a day and night like this last year and I hope it never repeats itself. My baby was only 4 months old, then I had a 2 year old and a 4 year old. Since we had a road trip together in an airconditioned car we all caught it within hours of eachother. As sick as I was it broke my heart to see my baby lying there so lathargic, and my 2 year old daughter puking over a bowl in her sleep while I held her head. I feel your pain, yet can’t imagine it 2 fold!

  11. Courtney says:

    Oh Chris - you poor thing! I just can’t imagine all those pukers at once! I hope Rob did a halfway decent job of cleaning up after them.

  12. Diane says:


    We’ve been passing it around at work. You’re right - it hits like lightening, empties everything in you through one oriface or another, and passes in about 24 -36 hours.

  13. jody2ms says:

    Oh, man, my heart goes out to you. It was the worst. Everyone got it here except Cody, and it was brutal. Just brutal.

  14. rachel says:

    that’s been going around our area too. eeeek. I’m really hoping it skips us. knock on wood.

    Glad everyone there got better quickly. ugh.

  15. Mary W says:

    Oh Chris. I’d rather have the flu than a stomach bug. I agree with some one else, send the puke fest to Donald.

  16. kate says:

    Oh I know how you feel I was so sick last week, thankfully no vomiting though! I hate being sick it is the worst! The kids had the vomiting and other though it just sucks.

  17. carrien says:

    yeah, you’ll probably be too busy cleaning up the vomit to do much gloating. I also hide things in places far too obvious for my family to ever find them there.

    we’ve only had two vomits so far in the past few days, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

  18. Polly says:

    As annoying as the non-sick people are, it is wonderful that everyone doesn’t get sick at the same time. Otherwise REAL chaos would ensue.
    I trust you’ll feel better soon.
    And btw, quit hiding things. You know how male people hate having to “search” for things!

  19. Sherri says:

    I’m going to clean my bathroom now…..and spray the computer with Lysol.

  20. Iris says:

    Chris, I hope that you and your family get rid of this bug soon. It’s terrible to have most of the family sick, esp. with a stomach bug. =/

  21. Kristie says:

    Sympathetic ugh. All five of us got it right after the first of the year, and yes, in between my own rounds of puking, all I could think was, “Dear Lord, when was the last time I cleaned this toilet????” I guess when I’m upright, facing the other direction, trying to hide from my kids for five minutes, I don’t pay as much attention as I should. :)

    Hope you are all feeling better soon and the two healthy ones don’t succumb. Unless secretly you want to gloat a little on the inside.

  22. mel says:

    you poor thing.

    i’m so glad your husband didn’t get it. as much as you may secretly want him to suffer, i think that both parents being sick at the same time is probably very similiar to being in hell.

  23. bluepaintred says:

    you really need to quit hiding the linins in the uh, linin cupboard.

    thats just evil

  24. briana says:

    Ok. So this is the fourth time in 3 months that I’ve had the stomach flu myself. I woke up this morning with nausea and the works. And now I’m headed out the door to see the doctor and hopefully figure out what all this flu-stuff is about.
    You’ve had this stomach thing last month or so too, didn’t you? Maybe the flu bug is morphing so it can reinfect us over and over… MAKE IT STOP!
    Big (non-puky) hugs to you. Get better soon.

  25. Heth says:

    Chris I am so, so sorry. We just suffered through this very thing last week and we had the hell that Mel described. Both Nate and I had it at the same time. It seems that who ever feels just the slightest bit better than the other is the one who has to tend to the children. That ended up being me. I have heard that there are two stomach bugs that go around, the bad one and the really bad one. I think the one you described is the really bad one. I say buy twelve tubs of clorox wipes and put everyone to work wiping down the whole house. It probably wouldn’t hurt to have everyone bathe in Lysol too. Or maybe not.

  26. Grim Reality Girl says:

    I had the flu three weeks ago. I am still feeling queezy. I’m living on apple sauce and mashed potatoes (not mixed, don’t be sick). This too shall pass. Sorry your flu ran through your house like a wildfire from hell — hopefully it is OVER!

  27. Susan says:

    Oh, how horrible. Times like that are the few instances when I’m grateful I only have two kids.

    My daughter has had the stomach flu three times now since December 31. How is that humanly possible? The last time was last weekend, and it started Friday night and ended on Thursday. No kidding. The vomiting, diarrhea and fever kept returning and felt like it would never end.

    My son was desperately ill at the same time, only with a pneumonia-like illness.

    How I stayed healthy is beyond me. As my husband lay asleep, snoring peacefully, and I wiped butts, cleaned out puke buckets and took endless temperatures, he slept. Once again, my mantra: In my next life, I want to be the dad.


  28. Trivial Mom says:

    Puking is the worst. And I completely understand the, uh, “orifice” reference. Whenever I get any stomach bug that’s how it affects me.

    After being violently sick for a few hours, I actually start to look forward to the vomiting, because that means the nausea will cease for atleast a couple minutes.

    Here’s hoping no one else gets sick!

  29. Elizabeth says:

    Worst vomit story I have personally experienced? On a mother-daughter camping trip for Girl Scouts, a mother was on the bottom bunk and her daughter on the one above her. The mother woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of her daughter’s vomit hitting the open duffle bag of clean clothes on the floor next to the bunk, and the feel of the splashback. Then they had to get through the rest of the night trying not to wake or contaminate others before heading home in the morning after the 15-minute timer finally stopped, with no unsoiled clothes or sleeping bags available. Oy.

    Please, please let us know if those two get sick. If they don’t, I will suspect a lack of intimacy with the rest of the family.

  30. Joan says:

    Oh my God, I remember those horrible nights and days. My kids are now 28, 19 and 17. I promise you, this too shall pass.

  31. Kristi says:

    That just sucks. I mean REALLY sucks. But at least the man you share the children with (which should totally be worked in to your new tag-line or something) was around to help.

  32. Playdate Susan says:

    Oh dear god in heaven, I had that SAME FUCKING THING yesterday. And my husband–the ONLY ONE not to get sick around here in the last two weeks–is also thumping his chest.

    Damn him.

    Feel better. I miss you.

  33. Sueb0b says:

    Thanks for the warning. I did skip the post, but I still love you.

  34. sami says:

    I skipped the details but I hope you’re feeling better soon.
    Mama Bear

  35. Michelle says:

    I hope this is just a bug and not food poisoning or some salmonella thing from the PB. Get well soon!!!

  36. Suburban Turmoil says:

    WOW. And I thought I had it bad cleaning up nine days of rotovirus from ONE child. You are a saint!

  37. Mocha says:

    We’ve talked about this, Chris. I have the exceptional quality of exacting revenge. Be right over. Don’t tell Rob. I like the surprise attack method best.

  38. dani says:

    Poor you Chris! My worst kid throw up story was when I was in grade school and ran to bathroom to be sick but my brother was already sitting on the toilet. So, I threw up in the sink. This caused my brother to throw up all over his own feet. My poor mother. I think I’ll call her and tell her I love her.

  39. Callie says:

    Yep I think we are starting that fiasco here at our house. I was watching my 9 month old grandson today. He was acting a little cranky. His mom came to pick him up. She sat on the end of my bed, Jack (grandson) sitting there also….and it started. Poor kid. My daughter has not had to experience her child do this. She yelled. Projectile vomiting I have to get this kid to the hospital. I convinced her it is the stomach flu. Because she went visiting friends this weekend and was informed after there was the flu in that house hold. Any way I told her. go get the tub running. I am thinking also I will need to wash all the bedding on this bed. Egads. horrid. She said to me is that it. I said no way in hell, you can always count on at least 2 vommits mininimum. I just talked to her and the other end of him has started. Thank god for diapers. Anyway she made an appt with the doctor tomorrow. Hope she makes it. hope you feel better real soon. Sorry about your 7 year old and husband who will soon be down for the count.

  40. Brigitte says:

    We just had it here, too, my MIL got it twice. At least when you have to barf, and you know you should just hurry and get it over with already, but part of you is fighting it, the disgusting proximity of the toilet to my face always helps push me over the edge.

  41. Katie says:

    Ick! Feel better soon and good luck with the laundry aftermath.

  42. Meg says:

    Oh no! So sorry - I hope everyone is on the mend…

  43. Amy W says:

    My two kids and my husband had it and somehow I never got it. This was about three weeks ago. But honestly, the fear of possibly getting it and waking up in the middle of the night was hard for me! I know, I know, definitely not as hard as actually throwing up but still.

  44. Christina says:

    So sorry for you and your family, I think that’s the worst.

  45. Sue says:

    Hope everyone is starting to feel better!

  46. maria says:

    Leave it to you to give me perspective! I do hope you’re feeling better. I was counting my lucky stars that my daughter only threw up once (it was on the dining room table though - yuck) and #2 son threw up on the walk home from ice skating - not on the rink or in the Starbucks… While I am the only one in the family who has (so far) avoided the yuck - I am humble and grateful NOT cocky!!! Best of luck

  47. Darren McLikeshimself says:

    Holy cow! Feel better — all of you!

  48. J. Fergie says:

    You should give Rob and your 7-year-old some of that peanut butter. JUST KIDDING!

    I know what you mean about the linen closet. I am the same way, hiding perishable foods in the refrigerator and all. Crazy ‘ol mom.