132 things i love about you: a birthday letter
March 1, 2007
1) That you were born on February 29th
2) You laugh at my joke every year that you don’t have a birthday this year, so no presents
3) And that you are not even three yet
4) Though this year you pointed out the false reasoning behind that statement
5) “I may have only had two birthdays, but I have still been alive for 11 years.”
6) That you love all things electronic and gadgetery
7) That you read all the manuals of everything that ever comes into our house
And then you explain them to me
9) The way you change the ringtone on my cellphone
10) So that I don’t recognize that it is my phone loudly ringing in public
11) and am all huffy and looking around to see who it is that is so rude as to not answer their annoying phone promptly
12) That you put absurd ringtones on my phone like birds chirping
13) or embarassing ones like the song, “I like big butts”
14) And then I pretend it isn’t my phone even if I realize that it is
15) That you read the entire tivo manual and set it all up
16) And then when you were explaining it to me you put your hand on my arm and said, “I know. It’s hard to learn new things at your age.”
17) The way that you sprang back to life so quickly after I killed you
18) That you know where everything in this house is,no matter how obscure
19) And if you don’t you will not be able to rest until you locate it
20) That every day you tell me the exact temperature outside
21) Several times a day
22) That you never get any joke we tell the first time
23) The way you get so angry if we dare to talk in the front seat to each other and you can’t hear
24) Which makes us whisper
25) Just to bug you
26) Your ability to laugh at yourself
27) Your self confidence
28) though it borders at times on delusions of grandeur
29) How you spent hours rigging up a system of strings and pulleys so that you wouldn’t have to get out of bed to turn the light off in your room
30) That it actually worked
31) though anyone over 4ft tall had to walk through your room hunched over
32) You have the biggest heart
33) And your capacity for compassion and forgiveness is immeasurable
34) For that I am thankful
35) I am counting on it
36) The way you sleep in bed with the covers wrapped around your entire body, including your head
37) like a cocoon
38) Though I really wish you would learn to make your bed
39) The way you prefer vegetables and fruit to junk food
40) You will turn down cookies in favor of celery with peanut butter
41) You are clearly your father’s son
42) That you want to bake your own birthday cake this year
43) A carrot cake
44) To the horror of your siblings
45) And you will do it all by yourself
46) And it will taste delicious
47) You love every present that you have ever been given
48) Including the time we gave you a wooden remote control holder as a joke
49) You unwrapped it and proclaimed it to be just what you always wanted
50) So the joke was on us
51) But we gave you your real presents anyway
52) You still have that wooden remote control holder next to your bed
53) It holds your ipod, palm pilot, electronic suduko, and other assorted little things
54) like gum wrappers
55) You have an endless amount of patience for your youngest siblings
56) You let them sit around you when you are working on your computer
57) You find them things to do on your computer
58) That you are a leader, not a follower
59) But you are not bossy
60) You are quick to apologize
61) and mean it
62) You will help around the house with anything you are asked to do
63) And almost never grumble
64) You bedroom looks like a cyclone went through it
65) But you oddly know where all your stuff is located
66) We can spend half a day cleaning up your disorganized and messy room
67) And within half an hour you would never know it had been cleaned up
68) You need very little sleep
69) And stay up reading until the middle of the night
70) I have learned that parenting different kids differently isn’t favoritism
71) it is meeting their individual needs
72) I know what it feels like to have a child drive you bat shit crazy
73) The joy and relief of coming out the other side of that
74) That I am not a perfect parent
75) And that’s okay
76) No one is
77) I have learned the child who is the most challenging is also the one who teaches you the most about yourself
78) I guess I had a LOT to learn
79) That you won’t care if I can’t get to 132 things
80) You won’t think I love you any less
81) You have beautiful big brown eyes
82) And an infectious smile
83) You are incredibly athletically inclined
84) Without even trying
85) Again, your father’s son
86) Maybe I am not really your mother
87) You potty trained yourself
88) Before you were two years old
89) because your brother who is a year older potty trained
90) And your competitive nature took over even at that age
91) You used to think that one day you would be older and bigger
92) I think you still do, secretly
93) You walked at 9 months old
94) Were talking in sentences at 12 months
95) But were completely bald and had no teeth
96) And were on the small side
97) It was pretty freaky
98) Everyday I am thankful that you are my son
99) And I am happy I didn’t toss you out the window during those colicky days
100) That lasted for nine years
101) You have a personality that other people gravitate towards
102) unlike me
103) You don’t take yourself seriously
104) You refuse to eat at fast food restaurants
105) Because you read the book Fast Food Nation
106) You are very particular about your clothes
107) A few years ago you went through a phase where you would only wear blue button down oxford shirts
108) Your wardrobe is slightly more varied now
109) Slightly
110) Your father and I fully intend to live with you when we are old
111) We used to say it was going to be payback
112) But now I think it might be because your heart is so big you would welcome us with open arms
113) Please live somewhere tropical
114) I
115) love
116) you
117) very
118) very
119) very
120) very
121) very
122) this is starting to look like essays you are forced to write
123) very
124) much
125) I am lucky to have you
126) So are all the birds in our neighborhood
127) that you keep well fed with all your bird feeders
128) If not for you I would never have known
129) that my phone has a calculator
130) and plays tetris
131) I probably wouldn’t have cared
132) But still.
Phew.
Happy Birthday Capooh Bear.
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That’s wonderful. He sounds amazing for a three year old!
March 1st, 2007 at 11:30 amThat was wonderful. Thank you for sharing. May he have many many more wonderful birthday letters (blog letters?) from his creative mom.
March 1st, 2007 at 11:33 amThat was really, really sweet, Chris.
Oh and are you willing to loan him out for carrot cake making purposes?
March 1st, 2007 at 11:51 amcould we please hear some more about #17?
my professor’s phone went off in class yesterday; it seems his preteen changed the ringtone to “big pimpin’” and then schemed to call exactly when his dad would be lecturing
it must be something in the blood of young men…
a beautiful post, thank you
March 1st, 2007 at 12:02 pmHappy Birthday!
March 1st, 2007 at 12:08 pmChris,
March 1st, 2007 at 12:17 pmI am not a mother yet, but I read your site everyday and everyday I am inspired by the depth of joy you have in raising children. Beautiful letter/post to your son and the picture is incredible. I look forward to the day when I have my own children and get to experience the blessings of their quirks and personality. Thanks for making parenting sound not so scary.
Chris that was so sweet! I could relate to #18 & 19 my Natalie (10) is the same way, she can find anything and everything in the house. It is crazy, but handy! You have inspired me to write letters to my own children. My Jacob turned 7 on Monday and we thought he was going to come on the 29th! Thanks for sharing the sweet, funny and real thoughts you have for your children!
March 1st, 2007 at 12:20 pmAs a fellow leap year baby (I’ll be 10 on my next “real” birthday) I have to say “Happy Birthday son #2!” You are living proof that not having a “real” birthday like everyone else in no way diminishes who you are. It just means you get to celebrate longer because people say “well I wasn’t sure what day you celebrated, so…” and then they present you with cards or gifts! In fact, my parents placed their traditional birthday call, complete with birthday song, both yesterday AND today. And who doesn’t like 2 days of being celebrated?!
March 1st, 2007 at 12:54 pmIs it wrong that at the end of such a beautiful and heart-warming post, my first thought was, “damn, her husband’s hot”?
March 1st, 2007 at 1:01 pmThanks for the lovely post!
If I can skip those first 9 colicky years, I’ll take him! I enjoy your love letters to all your children so much, I hope they appreciate them as well (when they’re older, of course).
March 1st, 2007 at 1:20 pmI’m with Jennifer…what is it about #17?
March 1st, 2007 at 1:23 pmBeautiful post…and picture (I loved it)
Chris, you are such a good mother. WOW.
My dad was also born on February 29th, he has passed away now but I always remember him on the day that most years we had to celebrate his birthday..February 28th. I think he had about 10 birthdays before he passed.
March 1st, 2007 at 1:31 pmok now I soo have to stop reading this at work. I am bawling!!!
I sooo love the love you can feel and see and this is that kind of love…
Rock on baby
March 1st, 2007 at 1:33 pmcould I borrow him to find the car keys that went missing six months ago?
Happy Birthday to the not yet 3 year old!!!
March 1st, 2007 at 1:45 pmWhat a great kid! I think your choice to live with him when you’re old is wise based on what you’ve listed here. …And you’re a fine mom for appreciating him and his goodness and his talents.
March 1st, 2007 at 1:52 pmHappy Birthday almost 3 year old!
March 1st, 2007 at 1:59 pmCongratulations on having a son that has a heart big enough to match yours. You’re very lucky.
That was a great birthday post!
Happy Birthday!
March 1st, 2007 at 2:13 pmWow. That was a great post. I feel like I understand both of you and how challenging and rewarding your relationship must be, for both of you. You are a wonderful mother, to all your children.
I can think of a dozen ways to interpret #17, but I have the feeling that none of them are right.
March 1st, 2007 at 2:25 pmMy son’s 11th birthday is March 1 (today) however, my entire pregnancy I feared that he would be born on Feb 29th - he wasn’t due to Mar 13th. So, sure enough the evening of Feb 29th I started having those contractions. He managed to wait until 4:42 to be born though!
March 1st, 2007 at 2:34 pmHappy Birthday to your son!
Chris, that was so beautiful.
He & my 11yo son would get along famously! They are SO much alike–in ways that most 11yo boys could never relate to. Eerie!
March 1st, 2007 at 3:18 pmOh, he sounds fabulous!
And that picture is to die for! Rob looks like he is in pure love! Bliss.
March 1st, 2007 at 3:53 pmSweet picture. I loved this post.
He sounds like a great kid, and like you are blessed to have him.
March 1st, 2007 at 4:00 pmwhat an incredibly lovable boy. you sure make him sound it, at least. great post. i hope my son (who’s turning 3 this sunday) has half as many wonderful attributes when he’s 11.
March 1st, 2007 at 4:04 pmSuch a sweet post! Happy birthday to your son!
March 1st, 2007 at 4:05 pmThat was incredibly beautiful! My 11yo came SO close to being a leap year birthday. His dad (dh) would have loved it, as he would have REALLY only given him presents on the years he *really* had a b-day!
Happy Birthday to your dear 11yo son!
March 1st, 2007 at 4:33 pm12) That you put absurd ringtones on my phone like birds chirping
13) or embarassing ones like the song, “I like big butts”
Umm… for my phone, the big butts song had to be downloaded. As in PURCHASED. Have you checked your bill lately?
March 1st, 2007 at 4:57 pmA Leap baby! How special!
March 1st, 2007 at 5:07 pmSo sweet sounds like you are raising a fine boy
March 1st, 2007 at 5:12 pmso sweet. i loved it.
March 1st, 2007 at 5:18 pmHappy Birthday - another Pisces, yeah! Wonderful birthday post. And I so loved that your husband’s wonderfully strong hands followed the little hands post - very sweet.
March 1st, 2007 at 6:15 pmWhat a gorgeous post. What a wonderful sounding boy!
March 1st, 2007 at 6:31 pmHe sounds like a fabulous little Alex P. Keaton (I loved him so I hope you take that as a compliment)!!!
March 1st, 2007 at 6:36 pmWhat a great post. I read parts of it to my husband. We had a good laugh together.
I hope my kids live somewhere tropical, too.
March 1st, 2007 at 6:54 pmAs always, a great post….but, why 132? Is that number special in some way or just a random number you decided on?
March 1st, 2007 at 8:42 pmBeautiful. The picture at the end made me all teary eyed. Thank you for making me smile, as you always do
March 1st, 2007 at 8:43 pmThat was great, both touching and funny, the perfect combo.
Oh, and I’m pretty sure that I brought home my almost 11 year old daughter in the same baby hat. Baby Gap?
March 1st, 2007 at 8:47 pm132 is for every month he has been alive. Like I did the 26 things about Miles when he was 26 months old.
MotherReader,
March 1st, 2007 at 8:54 pmYES, it was a Baby Gap hat. He had the little one piece outfit too.
That was lovely! I linked here from the Sonlight Forums and I have to say this post made me tear up. My son is 6 and his personality is still forming. I look forward to the man he is going to become.
March 1st, 2007 at 9:05 pmHe sounds a lot like my 11 year old.
March 1st, 2007 at 10:22 pmAgain, as always, a fabulous post. Beautiful to read how much you love your children, even as you acknowledge that they can and do drive you crazy. Love it. He sounds like a really neat kid.
March 1st, 2007 at 10:31 pmI love your birthday posts. Do the kids get to read them? Well, the older ones at least? I assume so as this one seems to be addressed right to him.
March 1st, 2007 at 10:58 pmAnd - I can’t help myself, I have to say it - this sounds like a homeschooled boy! 11-year-olds in school just aren’t that self-possessed for the most part. Those that are, though, are considered with suspicion by the others, at least around here. Great job as mom AND educator!
I am completely, totally verklempt.
March 1st, 2007 at 11:21 pmLovely letter.
He does know that he’s not allowed to get his licence until he’s actually 16 and not just 16 years of life?
March 1st, 2007 at 11:32 pmWow. My oldest is 3 and I long for this day…..
March 1st, 2007 at 11:35 pmcan I send my kid to live with you until she is 11? I will consider myself very lucky if she turns out half as cool as your kids
I loved this.
March 2nd, 2007 at 12:02 amHappy Birthday! My son is turning 11 tomorrow, the 2nd, and I remember wondering if we’d get a leap baby.
I really think my son is lovely (if somewhat smelly and very much messy) and I think I’m going to like 11. Your son and mine could be BFF’s! AND birthday buddies, from your description. Too bad you live there and I live here.
What a nice declaration of love. I think I ought to attempt the same. My son also has a heart as big as his head inside his chest - he’d love it.
March 2nd, 2007 at 1:45 amanother most wonderful post! does #17 have to do with video games? you are such a wise woman to enjoy your kids so thoroughly!
March 2nd, 2007 at 7:29 amgreat post - I will do the same thing for my son on his birthday! - what a great record, I bet he loved it (whilst pretending to be annoyed/embarrassed!?)
March 2nd, 2007 at 7:59 amYOU are the cutest mommy in the whole world!
March 2nd, 2007 at 8:50 amI thought I was until I saw this!
LOL!
Happy Birthday, Great post Chris, as usual you inspire me
March 2nd, 2007 at 9:49 amMan, I heart your birthday posts. They make me happy. I’m so glad you have so many kids that I get to read them fairly regularly…;)
Happy Birthday!
March 2nd, 2007 at 10:49 amI’m thinkin’ that #17 was in response to #16?
March 2nd, 2007 at 2:02 pmI almost never read posts that are “lists” so it is testament to your talent as a writer that I not only read every word but really enjoyed it.
And I seem to remember from some pirate movie that pirates only have a birthday every four years. Your son doesn’t happen to have a peg leg or an eyepatch does he? I would ask if you’ve seen any bottles of rum lying around the house, but I’ve read your blog long enough that I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that.
March 2nd, 2007 at 2:11 pmChris I read your blog everyday but have never commented. It makes my day! I am the oldest of 6 kids and my husband and I are incredibly blessed with 1 child. Today, less than 10 miles from our house (Atlanta, Georgia) a bus crashed carrying a college baseball team from Ohio (off the overpass of our busiest interstate) as I watched the horror unfold - most of the kids were our son’s age - he too is a college athlete at Georgia Tech - I was reminded so vividly how precious our children are and how life as we know it can change on a dime. Thank you for always celebrating your children - through pictures and letters and the sharing of the day to day craziness. We celebrate with you and in turn cherish our own children all the more. Thank you for sharing your many gifts with us. Mary
March 2nd, 2007 at 2:58 pmHappy sniff third sniff birthday waahhhh, he is so lovely, sniff sniff. More beautiful words from a fantastic mother.
March 2nd, 2007 at 6:02 pmbeautiful. sniff sniff sniff
so, um, after year 9 things get better? I see so much of my difficult one in this, but not quite in the compassion areas yet.
March 2nd, 2007 at 6:16 pm[...] I want to write a lovely little tribute to my kids (something like this), but instead, I’m obsessed with mentally planning my funeral. I know! What is wrong with me? Well, I attended a funeral a few weeks ago which made me realize that I have some definite ideas about my own funeral and how it ought to be planned. And then this week, a local man died at home quite suddenly . . . as in, his daughter found him dead when she returned home from school. He was fifty. [...]
March 3rd, 2007 at 2:01 amI love this Chris.
March 3rd, 2007 at 8:50 pmThe way that you sprang back to life so quickly after I killed you - Now that is f.u.n.n.y!
March 4th, 2007 at 1:38 pmjen
I wrote a similar letter to my daughter, on her 15th birthday this year. I’ll write my son, on his 20th birhtday in April, so he doesn’t think I love his sister more. I wasn’t clever enough to think of 132 things, and I don’t have blog, but I love yours!
March 5th, 2007 at 11:00 amVery sweet, Chris.
March 6th, 2007 at 9:03 amI just happened to come across your blog and already, I love it! I especially love this letter to your son! He seems so smart and grown up. It is amazing that the small things in life are the ones that stick with you the most. Thanks for letting me into your life! Happy Birthday to your Son! It is awesome he was born on Feb. 29th!
March 7th, 2007 at 3:43 pmI don’t even know him, and after reading that list, I think I love him.
Great job.
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:08 pm