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Dear Ann Taylor,

Dear Ann Taylor,

March 14, 2007

This afternoon I was perusing your store online, which is what I do instead of doing any of the hundred constructive things I could be doing. Also because I need some new clothes to go with my new shoes.

I have always loved your store because it isn’t trendy and the clothing is well made. It covered the bits it is supposed to cover and lasts forever. I never come across something that made me gasp in horror or laugh out loud.

So imagine my surprise when I came across this:

cropped trench

I don’t understand this item of clothing. Is it a jacket? Is it to draw attention to mid-sections and highlight the muffin top? Are muffin tops the shoulder pads of this year? Because I could get behind a fashion trend that emphasizes muffin tops and large asses.

Though this “jacket” in particular looks uncomfortable even on the rail thin model. I am feeling constricted just looking at this photo.

And then I saw this:

oh god NOOOOO

I am sorry. If you keep this up we may have to break up.

Chris

Posted by Chris @ 5:29 pm  

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Comments

  1. Susan says:

    I think you should leave her forever. That’s unforgivable.

  2. Danielle says:

    The kids in my class wear those jacket things. I’m constantly confused about the whole thing. Of course, fashion type stuff usually confuses me but this is above and beyond.

    The pants look like they should be plaid and come with a little cap. Then you could go golfing in them.

  3. cole says:

    I like the jacket although it would look shiteous on moi. It is like a 40’s type jacket. Cute. Impractical and looks good on no one, but cute. BUT those pants, Gosh, it reminds me of that video (when they were new & unusual and weird still..early days of MTV) and that chick singer, she played the sax and sang “Harden My Heart” she wore those large pantloons knicker things. Totally. Retarded. Stupid. And ugly. Those pants remind me of Skateland, feathered hair, roach clips with feathers for your hair and tube tops. Ick.

    Oh, it should be so over between the two of you although I think you might look hot in a tube top.

  4. Mary O says:

    Yeah, what’s up with those dumb cropped jackets? I don’t know anyone over 12 whose ass would not be totally magnified wearing one of those things. And magnifying the ass is definetely not the look most of us are going for. And those pants were just… yuck.

  5. Kai says:

    What is up with those pants?? It looks like the bottom half of a baseball uniform. How bizare.

  6. Kate says:

    Yeah, the pants TOTALLY look like baseball pants. Your boys should love them. Of course, given that they’re from Ann Taylor, 6 pairs would probably deplete your retirement fund….

  7. jodi says:

    I wore my son’s baseball pants as part of a halloween costume. Wish that I could say I looked as good as the photo in them but luckily baseball shirts when very large and long cover a world of mess.
    The jacket looks like something that shrunk.

  8. HAM*I*AM says:

    Good Laudy, those things are awfully gaudy….knickers are yuck, and the jacket, erm, no.

  9. ali says:

    they had me at the pantaloons…i used to be a big ann taylor fan!

  10. Jodi says:

    Wear the two pieces together and look like a total freak! Oy. Isn’t Ann supposed to be a bit more conservative and tasteful?

  11. Nicki says:

    obviously not meant for a women with a large chest. That constricts/hurts/makes me start rearranging my clothes just looking at it.

    Hey, maybe the pantaloons is the start of a movement to bring victorian clothing back. You know, start with the underwear, then gradually bring back the petticots…etc.

  12. tanya says:

    Knickers, gouchows (sp?) what’s next black socks with sandals? I think they just want to see how stupid we’ll look in the name of fasion.

    Note: I saw an ad for leg warmers for babies. To be worn with an undershirt. So they can crawl around in comfort without getting their legs cold. Funny I thought that’s what pants were for.

    Ok, I guess I’m just not hip.

    Do people even say hip any more?

  13. tanya says:

    Knickers, gouchows (sp?) what’s next black socks with sandals? I think they just want to see how stupid we’ll look in the name of fasion.

    Note: I saw an ad for leg warmers for babies. To be worn with an undershirt. So they can crawl around in comfort without getting their legs cold. Funny I thought that’s what pants were for.

    Ok, I guess I’m just not hip.

    Do people even say hip any more?

    http://www.parentingbynature.com/prodimages/baby-legs-main.jpg

  14. Jennifer says:

    Hey! I had a pair of *knickers* like that once. Granted it was 1983 but you get the point.

    Seriously, I want to know who in the fashion world not only thought 80’s should make a comeback but how that person got everyone else in the fashion world to go along with him (I say him because no woman in her right mind would want to revist the worst fashion era ever).

  15. Amy says:

    Wow–Ann Taylor? All can say is you’ve got to be kidding me!!!!

  16. Jennifer says:

    I SO hope knickers aren’t coming back into style…they were tacky enough the first time around!! ew!

  17. Heather says:

    Amen to the muffin tops! Were there any 80’s one piece zip up suits to go with these new fashion must have’s of the season. I also love how the knickers will give “saddle bags” a real vision!

  18. Gretchen says:

    Oh, I used to have a pair of pants like that! Of course, I wore them as part of a uniform for a drum corps that had a colonial themed uniform, LOL. And I didn’t look that good in them either, even though I was only 13. Good thing the coats were long in the back, like tuxedo coats with long tails.

    Are there really women out there who are going to buy those and actually wear them? Out? In public? Hmmm.

  19. Still Standing says:

    HHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!
    See *wiping eyes* now you’re just TRYING to make us feel sorry for those models, right?

  20. Tania says:

    While shopping at Target yesterday I noticed that there were tons of jackets like this and the cropped pants - they were everywhere - combined with leggings and very short tartan skirts. Perhaps Ann has started working with Target (like Stella McCartney is with Target Australia) :0)

  21. peepnroosmom says:

    OK. Those are just horrible.

  22. meredith says:

    Yuck, I hope the rest of the magazine had some better options.

  23. meredith says:

    oops,web-site, I meant to say…

  24. Novaks8 says:

    The jacket I was handling because I see that type thing a lot these days…a “shrug” I think they are called.

    But the pants?

    What the heck?

    They look like baseball pants!

  25. Jamie says:

    I remember how the whole class couldn’t stop laughing when my home-ec teacher told us, in 1984, that bell bottoms would be coming back in style one day. My mom made me knickers like that to wear with my Girl Scout shirt back then, too. I was so sad when I “accidentally” spilled bleach on them.

  26. Sara says:

    Thanks for transporting me back to the misery that was junior high. When I was in 8th grade, knickers were THE thing and if you were at all cool (and I wasn’t but aspired to be) you had them in corduroy. God help me, I had 2 pairs.
    Ann Taylor, breaking up is hard to do, but break up we must.

  27. Stephanie says:

    What the bloody HELL is THAT?

  28. Kim says:

    Um, those pants are bad enough without adding the black hose to them. What on earth are they thinking?
    I think the jacket has potential though, as long as you wear something long enough to cover the muffintop (which I suffer with too).

  29. Holli Smith says:

    Jacket cute as long as you don’t button it…
    those pants - are just WRONG!

  30. nabbalicious says:

    Forget the jacket…those pants are fucking bizarre! Sweet Jesus.

  31. Carola says:

    The jacket…could be (not for me though), but the pants…no no no.

  32. Tuesday says:

    Those pants are a deal breaker!

  33. Staci says:

    Well…start watching your TV because folks…if this is the trend…I’m going to be on the next What not to Wear episode if this is what’s coming around the bend. There is no way on God’s green earth you’d catch me in EITHER of these fashion staples. Muffin top = not pretty on it’s own, let alone emphasized.
    Knickers = hey let’s cut my legs in half and see how that would look. Oh, and let’s add black hose to this disastirous mess.

  34. Cecile Weekly says:

    I don’t get the short jackets either. But the model looks quite happy with it all. The model in the pants on the other hand judging by her posture… she seems understandably unhappy.

  35. Amy Girl says:

    “If you keep this up we may have to break up”
    I love it. Thanks for my first laugh bright and early this morning.

  36. Jess says:

    When did baseball pants come into fashion? The jacket, looks like she is trying to wear her daughters clothes. Odd very odd.

  37. Susan says:

    So do you think they mean for you to wear the JACKET with those PANTS?

    Hell to the no on both counts.

  38. Ashley says:

    Looking at that makes me want to sing “Fat guy in a little coat…”

  39. KathyB says:

    if it makes you feel any better those of us with huge chests (extra girlz) can’t wear those jackets either, I am always afraid that someone will point out that I am possibly wearing my bra outside my shirt. And those pants…I am not sure maybe we should call Jack Sparrow and ask them if he wants them back.

  40. CathyC says:

    LMAO!

  41. Debbie says:

    I am a huge AT fan… but both of those garments are hideous!!! LMAO!

  42. Kim says:

    are those knickers??? and the jacket looks like my 10 yr old’s jacket mmmmmm what is this with fashion????? bring on the 80’s at least you can wear baggy things and leggings….

  43. Catherine McNiel says:

    I just found your blog - and I am SO with you about Ann Taylor!

  44. M says:

    I could wear my son’s baseball pants and the jacket I made my daughter to wear on Halloween (Mad Hatter,)…just cut the tails off…and I could be in style…according to the catalog!

  45. daring one says:

    So, what you’re saying is… if I wear that outfit to BlogHer, we won’t be having an embarassing twinners debacle? Sweet! What was that link again?

  46. Mama T. says:

    I saw a sweater at The Gap that looked just like that jacket. The sad part was that I actually tried it on.

  47. Nancy says:

    Dude, I just fell in love with Ann Taylor but those pants are just WRONG.