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Swedish fish: the new xanax

Swedish fish: the new xanax

March 14, 2007

Sometimes I fear that this is turning into a bitching blog. That all I do is complain about people, things, products that bother me. I am not nearly so annoying in real life. Or maybe I am, but it is broken up by periods of non bitching. I worry, slightly, that I have a low tolerance for people in general.

So when I was sitting here thinking about what to write I thought…hey, I’ll write about how my wood burning stove that is not working yet again. But really there is nothing more to write about it other than that. And to highlight the fact that it is no longer under warranty.

Then I thought… hey, I could write about the inept pharmacists at my local CVS store. And how I want to jump over the counter and throttle them. Especially the one who is always eating while working. Yesterday he was eating what appeared to be a slice of pizza while looking up my prescription on the computer. And that is just disgusting.

Or maybe it isn’t and is just a sign of him working hard and multi-tasking. Look at me, I am being positive! It’s hard!

“Self,” I said, “no complaining today.” And then I sat here watching American Idol with my children, laptop open, and realized without complaining I have nothing.

But then a commercial came on the television that referenced someone being gay.

6 yr old: What does gay mean?

7yr old: It means you love guys and want to marry them.

6 yr old: So, like, Mom is gay?

Then I realized I am nothing without my children and their funny quips.


Chris: i feel nauseous,
Chris: i just finished an entire bag of swedish fish
Chris: I am out of control when Rob isn’t here to witness it
Chris: i am watching one of those HGTV house shows
Chris: and the woman just said she needs AT LEAST two sinks in her bathroom
Chris: doesn’t that imply she would actually like more than two?
Mir: Maybe 3 or 4!
Chris: like a public restroom
Mir: hahaha
Mir: I would like a stall door
Mir: and a case for my toilet seat covers
Chris: and one of those little garbage cans
Chris: but I would store candy in it
Chris: I just discovered a fish I dropped
Chris: so i have to eat it
Chris: in spite of the nausea
Mir: of course

I will miss Mir once she gets married and has a husband that she wants to spend time with every night. What about meeeeeeee?

But don’t you have a husband too, Chris? Why yes, yes I do. My husband works late and travels and likes to watch Seinfeld on television at night. Which is a great show and I used to like it way back in the early 90’s (or was it late 80’s?), but after watching each episode at least ten times I am sort of over it. I assure you that I didn’t kill him and bury him out in the frozen tundra that is my backyard.

Posted by Chris @ 9:16 am  

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  1. bgirl says:

    Seinfeld sounds good - my husband tivo’s The Great Outdoors on a regular basis, thus causing us to live separate lives under the same roof. And sing about it.

  2. kate says:

    Oh I ate an entire bag of gummy worms yesterday so I know the feeling!

    I love Seinfeld but can not watch it any more I have see too many episodes!

  3. Darren McLikeshimself says:

    Sweet Jesus! I sit out for a little while, and look at everything I missed!

    I hope your appointments went well. Poor Miles! I hope he’s feeling better.

    And this is precisely why I took a blog break for a few weeks last month: I felt like all I do is bitch and moan on my site. When I’m searching for a post idea, I actually think, “What’s bothered me lately?” Not a good way to be.

  4. dani says:

    I get sweedish fish at least weekly and have to keep them in my co-worker’s office so I don’t eat the whole bag. I also love sour patch kids. I can eat those until the roof of my mouth is raw. And I’m nauseous.

  5. Sherri says:

    Isn’t it bizzare that we dole out our candy to the kids and can eat it ourselves until we want to puke??? Anything in my house that is chocolate will be hunted down and eaten - I have absolutely no control, even handfuls of pitiful chocolate chips…sigh, where do you buy will power??? My hubs works long hours as well, for about 9 months of the year, and ends up going to bed at the same time as my boys most of the time during the week - so does eating all this chocolate unseen really count??? It is kinda like the tree falling in the forest, right???

  6. Misty says:

    I don’t know if I’ve ever commented before but I just had to say… we were watching that show TOGETHER last night!! Unless, of course, you Tivo’d or DVR’d it and watched it without me. In which case, I don’t appreciate your being so inconsiderate! ;-P J/K
    BTW, the sink thing… I thought it, too! I was wondering, “what the HELL will this lady do with MORE than 2 sinks?” Great minds and all. Have a great day!

  7. Brigitte says:

    I though the POINT of having a blog was to bitch and moan and (hopefully!) find others who are in the same situation! :-)

  8. fairly odd mother says:

    At least two sinks! That is hilarious. I want those toilets that flush automatically when you stand up but my 4 year old makes me hold her ears when she’s on them, so that would get old very quickly.

    I was eating stale Hello Kitty gummies that I found in the car, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

  9. fairly odd mother says:

    At least two sinks! That is hilarious. I want those toilets that flush automatically when you stand up but my 4 year old makes me hold her ears when she’s on them, so that would get old very quickly.

    I was eating stale Hello Kitty gummies that I found in the car, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

  10. Nicki says:

    I, too, have also found that most of my blogs of late are complaints. When you complain we know we are not the only ones out there having a challenging day. I raided the oreos last night, which is really bad for the Weight Watchers. I’m starting to forget what my trainer looks like….next week is gonna be tough.

  11. Lily Calla's Mama says:

    If it makes you feel any better, yours is my very favorite blog to read. You always crack me up. How is Miles doing?

  12. briana says:

    Seinfeld? Yeah, we have every episode on TAPE (and TWICE at that - not sure why) and also have them on DVD. You could say that my husband really REALLY likes Seinfeld. We’ve watched each episode so many times that he can recite full scenes by memory. When they play it is like music to us, knowing all the “lyrics”-
    Don’t worry about complaining. You still always have a note of positivity and humor - I like that. Plus if you were all about the roses in the garden and how perfect your life is, we’d all be so jealous WE’D be nauseous. Haha.
    Big hugs.

  13. Ashley says:

    Icky. I hate when people eat while working. Curious? How do you feel about people eating whill still in the buffet line?

  14. Cecile Weekly says:

    That’s a thing with blogs. I believe I’m a very positive and cheery person, but still I find myself doing little more than complaining about my world, boyfriend, work in my blog posts.

    I love your blog though. I’m kinda scared of children, but yours seem to be pretty cool and funny and sweet. Congrats with that!

  15. Jen W says:

    Nobody wants to read a blog that’s all flowery and positive. Who wants to read a Stepford blog?? So, feel free to keep up the sarcasm and complaining, it’s much more fun to read!

    How’s Miles doing?? Hope he’s feeling better!

  16. Susan says:

    Aww, when Mir gets married, you’ll still have me. Promise.

    Although you will have to share your fish with me.

  17. Chris says:


    Oh I don’t do buffets. Eeeek!


    Yeah, you say that now but you are always going to bed at 8pm ;-)

  18. cce says:

    Wish my Better-Half would watch something on television. He’s way too involved in cyberspace to break away for regular public programming. So I eat chocolate and watch Sanjaya suck on “Idol” all by my lonesome. Seriously, why’s he still there? Sanjaya I mean. Must be the pity vote.

  19. jodi says:

    I thought that black licorice was the new Xanax. Yes, you can say eeww just like my kids do.

  20. Jennifer says:

    You must be reading my mind. Or I am reading yours. Just this morning I promised myself I’d blog no complaints for at least a week. Starting tomorrow.

  21. Jennifer says:

    #1 not *all* your posts involve complaining #2 your take on the annoying “stuff of life” is HILARIOUS
    #3 we all come here (a whole lot of us) by choice to read your words and see your beautiful pics-so by all means, gripe away!

  22. Carmen says:

    Well, I was busted on my blog for complaining. I came over here for complaining, only to find that you aren’t. Geesh. Where am I going to get my complaining fix?

  23. kate says:

    I can’t get swedish fish around here, but swedish berries are just as good. I buy the package and eat the whole thing then hide the evidence… not that my husband who’s never home would even want them, I just can’t be on my nutritional high horse if he knows I eat entire packs of swedish berries.

  24. crazyjane says:

    while i can’t really defend a pahrmacist i don’t know, i can tell you that CVS pharmacists often work 12 hours at a stretch withoutout anyone to cover a lunch break for them. some chains allow closing for lunch and some do provide coverage, but not CVS. not that i work there or anything. swear.

  25. Elena says:

    hell, after seven kids I would take it as a given that you have a low tolerance for people in general. I only have 2 and it’s hard to me to maintain even a semblance of my sunny pre child exterior (SHUT. UP. I DID TOO have A SUNNY PRE CHILD EXTERIOR. interior. Small, deeply buried pocket of sunniness. SOMETHING.)

  26. Jeff says:

    You make complaining enjoyable to read.