two is terrific… for driving you crazy
April 12, 2007
In the past two days my two year old, Miles, has:
pulled every single book out of our highly organized bookcases
and then danced on them
emptied an entire bottle of lotion onto his head, where he worked it into a frothy lather
picked the head off of every flower that was beginning to bloom in the front yard
colored “tattoos” with green marker all over his body
emptied a different bottle of lotion on the carpet in my bedroom
went into the pantry and got out a box of Nutrigrain bars, and then squeezed them all into mush while attempting to open them
learned how to both unlock and open the outside doors to the house
learned how to open, but apparently not close, the refrigerator
And all of these things have happened while I was actively supervising or momentarily distracted. I should be fired.
But since that can’t happen.
I need a cage. Some leg shackles to slow him down.
And a shock collar used to train dogs would be helpful too.
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